The Friend Zone?

Former Member · June 2006

Just wondering how quickly you girls 'friend zone' guys. And for what reasons.

I'm guessing if you really don't fancy the guy then he's zoned instantly and there's nothing much he can do about it.

But what if you're undecided? E.g. if the guy doesn't kiss you on the first date, would that get him zoned?

Former Member · June 2006

is it me or has it be raining trolls lately?

And well can't answer for he girls, but what do you define friends as tho, cos well someone you don't want to get out with doesn't necessary mean they are going to be friend either...

Former Member · June 2006

I'm picky. That's about it. I am so stupidly fussy about guys that it's not even funny.

So basically, if a guy does have that certain 'something' that attracts me to him instantly, he's a friend. It's an instant thing for me. Don't ask what the something is, cause I really don't know! Heh.

But yeah, was a guy is in the friend zone, for me he is always a friend. However, the guys in the do-able zone are subject to reassessment. If I discover that they're annoying, or don't actually have that 'something' then they can very easily be thrown into the friend zone.

Oh, and I tend to never be undecided. I know what I like and what I want.

Yes, yes I am bitch

Former Member · June 2006

nihilisticmadman wrote:

is it me or has it be raining trolls lately?

And well can't answer for he girls, but what do you define friends as tho, cos well someone you don't want to get out with doesn't necessary mean they are going to be friend either...

Trolls have made a comeback, by the way. I saw them in Clinton cards.
Fact.

Former Member · June 2006

hmm.. if a guy doesnt kiss me on a first date that wouldnt get him 'zoned', no. if after,a few more dates there is still no kiss but i still really liked the guy, it would just make me persue him more!! thats just me though

if after a couple of dates, i decide that there just isnt any 'spark' between me and the guy, that will mean he's zoned too.

although saying that, - just the fact that you went on another date after the first means that its not the 'friend zone' youre both after.. especially if it was the guy that asked.

.. oh god. just reread that and it makes nooo sense. sorry bout that

i know what i mean!!!

Former Member · June 2006

IWishIWas wrote:

Trolls have made a comeback, by the way. I saw them in Clinton cards.
Fact.

haha i saw them yesterday :yes: nearly bought myself a nice pink haired keyring but i forced myself not to!!

Former Member · June 2006

IWishIWas wrote:

Trolls have made a comeback, by the way. I saw them in Clinton cards.
Fact.

They've even got their own cartoon series now as well.

Former Member · June 2006

nihilisticmadman wrote:

is it me or has it be raining trolls lately?

Nah, a troll post would've been:

My girlfriend likes me to dress up when we have sex, the only problem is that she likes me to wear a giant blue wig four times bigger than my head and sing 'I'm a troll man. Doo doo do duh doo ...' But I've always preferred He-man toys and it really offends me. Should I carry on and learn to enjoy it or should I tell her the truth?

Former Member · June 2006

JackSkellington wrote:

Nah, a troll post would've been:

My girlfriend likes me to dress up when we have sex, the only problem is that she likes me to wear a giant blue wig four times bigger than my head and sing 'I'm a troll man. Doo doo do duh doo ...' But I've always preferred He-man toys and it really offends me. Should I carry on and learn to enjoy it or should I tell her the truth?

Hehe... I know... was just kidding...

But tis a nice example of a troll post you did there tho :thumb:

Former Member · June 2006

Pretty damn quickly; and then there's no going back. People are always saying "don't get into the friend zone" but I really don't think that's possible really... and I find it hilarious when blokes are unfriendly because they don't want to get into that situation. Being friendly isn't what puts you in the zone; it's having all the qualities of a great [boy]friend without "the spark". It's pretty fucking weird, and unfair, and I don't think males have a friend zone that's anything like as rigid as females do. They can consider you their best, most solid, pretty-but-not-in-that-way mate. But you can still often make a jailbreak, hop over the fence and land yourself back in "fuckable" or even "relationship material" territory. It's pretty bizarre.

I do have a few guys in the "maybe" zone, but I'm not entirely sure if that's because I want them on standby or if they're just not people I would class as "friends". Hmm, it's a weird one.

Former Member · June 2006

I friend zone every guy i meet really. I have never gone around looking as guys as potential boyfriends only friends. Though there is always a chance if I develop more intrest in him.

Former Member · June 2006

briggi wrote:

Pretty damn quickly; and then there's no going back. People are always saying "don't get into the friend zone" but I really don't think that's possible really... and I find it hilarious when blokes are unfriendly because they don't want to get into that situation. Being friendly isn't what puts you in the zone; it's having all the qualities of a great [boy]friend without "the spark". It's pretty fucking weird, and unfair, and I don't think males have a friend zone that's anything like as rigid as females do. They can consider you their best, most solid, pretty-but-not-in-that-way mate. But you can still often make a jailbreak, hop over the fence and land yourself back in "fuckable" or even "relationship material" territory. It's pretty bizarre.

I do have a few guys in the "maybe" zone, but I'm not entirely sure if that's because I want them on standby or if they're just not people I would class as "friends". Hmm, it's a weird one.

:thumb: :thumb: :thumb:
:yes: :yes: :yes:

Former Member · June 2006

I don't really 'friend zone' guys... everyone I meet is automatically a possible friend before anything really, unless they're scummy, in which case they're in the DEATH LIST zone.

Maybe I'm like a guy and am flexible with the boundaries. I have more male than female friends, and I could never even imagine going out with any of them, but I don't know. Even the ones I could imagine, I probably never ever will. But then my current boyfriend, with a definite spark, was my close, totally platonic friend for a long time beforehand, so I don't think anything's totally rigid. I've had friends I've unexpectedly developed crushes on in the past and vice versa - things happen, they come and go, I don't really label anyone.

If I wasn't kissed on a 'first date' (though the whole dating thing doesn't really appeal to me - you hang out until you know and like each enough to 'go out' in my book), I wouldn't write them off. Not at all.

Former Member · June 2006

briggi wrote:

Pretty damn quickly; and then there's no going back. People are always saying "don't get into the friend zone" but I really don't think that's possible really... and I find it hilarious when blokes are unfriendly because they don't want to get into that situation. Being friendly isn't what puts you in the zone; it's having all the qualities of a great [boy]friend without "the spark". It's pretty fucking weird, and unfair, and I don't think males have a friend zone that's anything like as rigid as females do. They can consider you their best, most solid, pretty-but-not-in-that-way mate. But you can still often make a jailbreak, hop over the fence and land yourself back in "fuckable" or even "relationship material" territory. It's pretty bizarre.

I do have a few guys in the "maybe" zone, but I'm not entirely sure if that's because I want them on standby or if they're just not people I would class as "friends". Hmm, it's a weird one.

A former (female) friend and member on this forum (who also introduced me to thesite.org.uk) emailed me about this thread and about your response, briggi.
I got her to know in january and even tho she had huge trust issues at first, we managed to become really tight friends (as opposed to only buddies), who shared everything.

In march things were a bit on the edge. I flew to the country where she lives and got her to know personally. You could say for those 4 days we've been "more" than just friends, I think you understand.

This is where she agrees with you and wanted to let me know, because that's it what she wanted to tell me all the time: Having all attributes for being a great [boy]friend, but without the spark. I kinda "hopped" fence in the other territory, but when I flew home again things changed. We still spent awesome times had a lot of fun, and talked about seeing each other again, up until a few weeks ago where she confessed to me, she was seeing someone other. I "was hopped" back on the friendship zone again, and this pretty fucking hurt me.

Yea, it's weird and unfair... that's where I agree. I know what I mean to her, and she means a lot to me too, and THEREFORE I love her (that IS the spark), but I lack something she cannot describe, because out of her own disclosure I got everything that it takes to be a great b/f.

We emailed a LOT in the last days, me cornering her WHAT this little thing is, called "spark". I still believe it was a tiny thing, or a mixture of numerous tiny weeny things that let spark not come.

like: calling/txting too often, making her laugh too often (seriously, I think you slide into some kind of "clown"/friend status, when you are a witty dude), being to open with ones feelings, having problems yourself (girls look for stability, evolution theory thing), or WHATEVER.

and someday.... someday I will find out, write a book about it, and get RICH.

anyway, I still don't know how to go on now, seeing her as an amazing and fascinating girl... who I cannot have. I feel like I cannot be friends anymore.
[/emo]

thanks for listening. To abbreviate all this: AGREE briggi :thumb:

The Friend Zone?

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