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Very worried about my girlfriend. advise needed.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Need some advise here.
My girlfriend is house sitting her mums place this week and to look after the dog, while her mum is on holiday. This wouldn't be a problem but i'm worried about her while shes there (35miles away). I know the distance isn't much but it feels it. anyway here the situation.
Her mum and boyfriend have recently slipt-up. And from want my girlfriend says her mum still wants to get back with him. From everything that i've been told about him its a good job they slipt, as hes a violent man, has threatened girlfriend, mum and little sister with a knife, and has hit the mum before.
Her mum said that he can come round and see the dog, but he is to let my girlfriend know when he's on his way. He phoned her up yesterday saying that he'd be over tomorrow night to see the dog and "to have a little chat" and then told her that she'd have to cook him a nice meal.
My girlfriend normally isn't scaried easy and can take care of herself. But from the phone call she been really shaken up and frightened what he'll do when he's there. I've asked her if a neigbour or one of her friends can be there at the same time to keep her company (hopefully stop him from doing anything). I told her i'd come but was told no because i have an exam tomorrow night and she wont let me miss it.
TBH i think he'd be mad to try or do anything, but when has that stopped people before. And the fact that she said if he did anything to her she wouldn't tell anyone (me, her mum or the police). I'm now really worried about her, i've never heard so much fear in somebodies voice before, and i dont know what to do.
My girlfriend is house sitting her mums place this week and to look after the dog, while her mum is on holiday. This wouldn't be a problem but i'm worried about her while shes there (35miles away). I know the distance isn't much but it feels it. anyway here the situation.
Her mum and boyfriend have recently slipt-up. And from want my girlfriend says her mum still wants to get back with him. From everything that i've been told about him its a good job they slipt, as hes a violent man, has threatened girlfriend, mum and little sister with a knife, and has hit the mum before.
Her mum said that he can come round and see the dog, but he is to let my girlfriend know when he's on his way. He phoned her up yesterday saying that he'd be over tomorrow night to see the dog and "to have a little chat" and then told her that she'd have to cook him a nice meal.
My girlfriend normally isn't scaried easy and can take care of herself. But from the phone call she been really shaken up and frightened what he'll do when he's there. I've asked her if a neigbour or one of her friends can be there at the same time to keep her company (hopefully stop him from doing anything). I told her i'd come but was told no because i have an exam tomorrow night and she wont let me miss it.
TBH i think he'd be mad to try or do anything, but when has that stopped people before. And the fact that she said if he did anything to her she wouldn't tell anyone (me, her mum or the police). I'm now really worried about her, i've never heard so much fear in somebodies voice before, and i dont know what to do.
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Comments
Is there any way she can say that she wont be there.
Just because hes said he will be round, doesnt mean she has to stay in for him if she feels in danger.
I really hope she is not going to make him a meal too, can't your girlfriend just come to yours with the dog?
Frankly shitty situation, otherwise your girlfriend can just say she is not around and if her mum want her ex to see the dog (frankly quite weird for a man that is apparantly quite abusive and violent) well she can do it in her own time and not put her daughter at risk.
My best advice is to find a way out, one way or an other...
I suggested about bringing the dog to mine, but she said he'd attack and probably kill my cats. I'd drop the exam in a second if it meant that i could be there, but she wont let me, plus its an exam for a course that work have put me on (and go ape-shit if i missed it).
If i were in your situation i'd get her over to yours till her mum is back, its better to be safe than sorry
Tbh though if shes determined to do it, im not sure why shes trying to frighten you.
She either feels at risk or she doesnt.
if thats no good and noone can come around to be with her, she should at least let someone (a neighbour or friend close by?) know what the situation is and set up some safety ideas such as knowing she can reach a phone to call someone if in danger, and thinking of a safe place (whether that be outside the house or a room in the house) that she could go if in danger. she should also call someone just before he is due to arrive and arrange a time to call them back so that if she doesnt call by that time, they can call her or they know things are not right and can go round or call the police.
i understand the complications of family and loyalty to her mum etc but her safety has got to come first
or the dog could be taken for a walk by him, just a possiblilty he may not bring it back.
or even just get one of her mates over. much less likely to do anything with company.
let me kno how it goes hun xxx
I'd still feel a lot better about the whole thing if she didn't have to meet him on her own. But she wont back down.
and he's a bit of a cheeky twat telling her to cook for him....get her to have a friend round while he's there
but really, her mum knows how violent he is....surely she should put the safety of her children first instead of letting a violent man around whenever he likes because she wants to get back with him
she shouldn't be scared to fall out with her mum if she continues to be blind to what this man is doing - any mum should put her kids over a bf, and especially a violent one at that, hands down.
I agree with Ballerina, god knows what her mum is playing at.
I hope it all gets sorted ok, and that nothing happens.
I'd still feel better if someone was there, but she says she'll be fine with neigbours next door.