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puts no effort in

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
ive been going out with a girl now for about 2 and a half months, its quite serious, we like each other a lot and have gone 'the full way' but recently have been finding she dosent really put much effort into the relationship (well she never used to either). I am always the one asking if she wants to do something (apart from the odd occasion where if shes in my area she'll ask me), we don't go to the same school so if lucky i get to see her once or twice a week, maybe 3. But if it was left to her we'd prolly be lucky to see each other once a month. I dont think its that she dosent want to see me (well i hope not), its because she dosent like planning stuff and is quite lazy tbh haha. Whats the best option, give the 'silent treatment' for a while and wait until she asks me to do stuff, or just confront her about it and say 'oi love, you put crap all effort into the relationship'? thanks for any advice.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well my boyfriend accused me of the same thing at one point. And what basically happened what I liked him asking me to do thins. It made me feel wanted and I got so used to it that I stop trying to plan things all together and had thought " If he wants to hang out he will make it work" But because we also go to different schools and at one point lived hours apart it became a problem. He finaly just told me that it was a turn off and he took it very personal and that just like I enjpoyed feeling wanted so did he and it was time I start showin it. From then one everything went well and we got to spend more time together which is always a plus. So I would say tell her how you feel and why expressing that it is unfair and is becoming a problem that you don't want since all you really ant is to spend time with her.. the right girl will totally undertsand
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agree with the above. Just tell her how you're feeling and that if she doesn't start putting some effort in that it's not going to work.

    I had to actually split up with my boyfriend for him to really get down to it, well I gave him his things back, he decided to end it as was scared of the commitment and didn't know what he wanted, then he decided what he wanted and since we got back together he's been acting much more like a boyfriend. That's not to say it's always him chasing me now, but it's more even.
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