Im Sorry

Former Member · February 2001

Hello
ive just come back from hospital where i had to have my stomach pumped cos of all the pills and stuff i took to end my life. ive read all the posts you have posted, and now i feel 100 times worse cos im selfish and a bastard and dont care about anyone else and i just go off and fucking kill myself and your all left hear worrying while all i could think about was dying cos my life was so shit!

so i thought it'd better come back here after reading all your messages and just say

Im Sorry.

Im sorry for everything ive said, and everything ive done cos im the most selfish bastard there is and doesnt care about anyone else. i dont even deserve to get an its alright, dont worry from no one, i dont deserve to be forgiven. cos what ive done is, is upset everyone here and making them feel like shit.

wish i did die cos then i wouldnt have to worry about how ive hurt you or nuffing and id never know u said any of this and to know i made people feel like shite. also my ex told me today she dont wana hug or kiss me no more cos she feels guilty, she was the only person who'd ever show affection to me. now i got no one showing any affection and thats all i want.

but this message aint about that, this is just to say im sorry.
i'll keep posting if you want me to, but if not i'll just stop posting cos im upsetting everybody.

but im sorry from the depths of my heart for all the pain and stuff ive caused you all.

Im Sorry

Lonely-In-Life

Former Member · February 2001

It really hurt me to read that,no matter how tough life is at the mo it isnt worth it to end it.All of us humans are all strong enoughn to live lifeand yr no exception.Think of all those who love you,imagine how theyed feel if you did go.Put yrself in their shoes-not very nice.In life there are happy times and unhappy times.Just let out all the unhappiness,move on and look to the future.all humans have to work together to keep the society together and ina way yr being a cheat and lazy-letting everyone down.Niow forget it all and live and forget.Think of all the opportunities you have in the future-things u can do,people u will meet and family-you will even have yr own.All that sorry you have just said,you are forgiven.I sound like I know you dont I,telling you waht to do.Well I hope I ahve helped-my advice is if u ever feel trapped or very down,the best way to deal with it is talk about and of course there is thesite.org!!!!!!!we're all here to help.we are a community.you are not alone.There are people worse off than you.think what alternatives there are to deal with things.I'll speak to you soon
Love CHEEKy

Former Member · February 2001

awwwww! I'm not a regular poster but i thought i'd reply and say please don't feel bad! I'm sure no one here wants you to go away! The whole point of these boards is that you can talk to people and get help and it sounds like that's what you need.

I hope you feel better soon, just try not to feel bad coz i'm sure thats the last thing anyone here wants. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Former Member · February 2001

I know this will be very very very very hard to swallow. but no one did care that i was gona kill myself. my parents still aint talking to me. all they did was call an ambulence, they didnt do nuffing else, except pick me up from hospital. i dont really have any mates who;d care that much they'd miss me. people at college seem to only take the piss outta me or use me for something. they wouldnt miss me.

i doubt i'll have a family, cant see a girl putting up with me the way things are going now with girls and have always gone.

i shouldnt be forgiven for the pain ive caused some of you.

i just feel so lonely right now, all i want is affection, thats all i want.
sorry this is all gobbeldo gook, i knew what i was gona say but kinda forgot.

L-I-L

Former Member · February 2001

Hey bud, you don't need to worry yourself, yuo've obviously just been through a very traumatic experience but no one here hates you! we love you!!
And i for one am a very happy guy today for knowing that you're alive, not resentful, it's the best news i've heard all year, you're a good man and you can get through this, that's why we're here.
You're not a selfish person you just need support and there are many places for you to get it from, we love you bud and we all wanna help you <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

keep cool, son, talk to us

This Is A Public Warning: Monkeys can be harmful if swallowed in large quantities

Former Member · February 2001

Its not true that u have upset everybody on here by saying u were going to kill yourself, I am the one that expressed my anger about it so dont think u have upset the whiole site. U have to understand that I dont think u r selfish for wanting to kill yourself. I have been there myslef and I no how it feels. When u feel u have nothing in life u dont think u will be leaving anything behind.
It wasnt the fact u felt so low that upset me. I truly feel bad for u and really wish u would seek some help. Did the hospital not offer any further help after u had your stomach pumped??
Its not true that nobody would miss u if u went, all u have to do is read your other thread and see how upset I was about the fact u amy have killed yourself. I dont even no u and I was worried sick so Im sure there r many others out there that feel the same. I was angry at the fact u told us all u were going to do it and then u just disappeared. That to me is a selfish thing to do, it left me and others very worried and concerned...and also helpless coz there is nothing u can do over the internet is there!
Im really glad that u r still with us, U wont realise just how glad I am. Please though will u go and seek further help. It is obviose that U r feeling really bad and u do need some help. Im glad that u can share how u feel with us on here, we r a very supportive bunch, so dont feel that u cant be open with us. Please dont tell us that u r going to kill yoursewlf though and leave us so worried again, I cant handle that one!

Former Member · February 2001

(((((((L-I-L)))))))
I'm sorry you feel so shit at the moment, but you do deserve to be forgiven and you have been forgiven. I can't believe that no-one would miss you, everyone here would miss you for starters.

I know theres not much i can say to make you feel better but everyone here cares about you and would miss you, and everyone wants to try and help you. I know its not much but we're all here for you so please don't feel so alone. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> I'm sure things will get better even if it takes a while,you might end up with a girl who loves you and a family one day. Give it time.
I hope things get better for you but please don't feel bad about coming here to talk. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Girl-From-Mars · February 2001

LIL, dont worry about it, we've all forgiven you im sure. we were just worried about you, i was so relieved to see youd made another post. your parents do care about you, they just might not show it because they dont know how to deal with your suicide attempt, and are angry at you, which just shows they care.
i think you should seek professional help, its obvious you're really depressed, go and see your GP and talk to him or her, he will most likely refer you to a psychiatrist and/or prescribe some medication.

dont go ruling out anything in the future like a family or girlfriend, sort out your problems at the moment and once you are happy with yourself you will find some brilliant friends and attract girls who will appreciate you for who you are.

If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.

Former Member · February 2001

Originally posted by CHEEKy:
It really hurt me to read that,no matter how tough life is at the mo it isnt worth it to end it.All of us humans are all strong enoughn to live lifeand yr no exception.Think of all those who love you,imagine how theyed feel if you did go.Put yrself in their shoes-not very nice.In life there are happy times and unhappy times.Just let out all the unhappiness,move on and look to the future.all humans have to work together to keep the society together and ina way yr being a cheat and lazy-letting everyone down.Niow forget it all and live and forget.Think of all the opportunities you have in the future-things u can do,people u will meet and family-you will even have yr own.All that sorry you have just said,you are forgiven.

alright, now i can see why everyone hasnt warmed to you cheeky. i never read this before, i must have missed it..but christ, dont you think LIL doesnt know all that shit already?
GRRRRRR.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{l-i-l}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
we're all here for u, and of course we still want you to post.
{{{{{{{{{{{{{l-i-l}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
i wish i could hug you for real right now <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">

Former Member · February 2001

that's cool man! we were just wondering where u were! im happy that you're ok now.

im glad u realised that ending your life wasn't the best idea. whatever happens, life goes on. and i'll guarantee you that whatever your situation is like now, you'll get over it. afterall, it's only a bump in the road to life. we all get over it.

next time...just be a bit more wiser...
but at least i can say...welcome back!!

Former Member · February 2001

good to see you back man!! Everybody is right. and if nobody else does, I need you, just because you haves ome idea of what I am going through, so if you go then I will as well. now you have a reason, we have to keep each other happy<--(I bet you money that it will be tougher for you than for me), so maybe nobody in your life right now cares about you. well you have a long road ahead, so just chill and wait, something will come up to make you realise that maybe life is worth living, and you have the full backing of everybody here Im sure.

Dk

I never said I loved you...
However I will fuck you...
until someone better comes along!!!!

Former Member · February 2001

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lonely}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Good to see you back, I am truly sorry things got to such a bad state for you. Suicide is a real leveller, trust me I know only too well. You will feel numb and it will make feel isolated for a while, this is because it is a big shock for people who have seen a loved one slip so far into dispair right under their noses, without them seeing it till it was too late. Try not to be too hard on them or yourself more importantly.

This imediate period in time you need to take a step back from yourself and concentrate solely on getting yourself better. If you did not see the emergency psychiatrist whilst in hospital, I suggest you get yourself down to your GP and get his help. He will probably put you on a course of Anti-depressants and refer you on for more specific proffesional psychiatric care, do not worry there are many people who do it. I have done it for a while and it gets easier with time. I know others here at thesite are doing the same. If you take a look in the health forum on the boards and the health channel you might find some help. There are people here who have been or are in similar situations. You could also try visiting the Depression Alliance where they have exellent message boards like here at thesite and a chatroom that you can drop in and chat with people who are themselves in a similar position.

(((((((((((((((((L-I-L))))))))))))))))))))))
If there's anything we can do just ask. Take care.

Luk

The river is wide and oh so deep. I've been walking around in tears, No answers arethere to get. Cause between this world and eternity there is a face I hope to see

[This message has been edited by LUKA (edited 12-02-2001).]

Former Member · February 2001

Well a fast RED car, a beautiful super model as a G/F and to be an F1 driver would be nice thanxs <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> so when can i expect all this LOL
L-I-L

Former Member · February 2001

Well ok u twisted my arm,

ill go n paint my little white car in red with my felt tips n starve myself for a month, dont know about the F1 dirver btu ill come down n give u great sex n then say i have to leave u but ill love u forever <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">

Im just tryna cheer u up btw not make it look like im having a joke at ur expense.

<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">

Former Member · February 2001

Well i got a fast red car, well fast when i'm driving it (PUG 106 1.2), i aint no super model, but i'm ok, as for F1 driver, well i'm still on my provisional but hey never mind....now promise me, you are gonna put all this stuff behind you, learn from it, and try to get on with life. We all love ya!!!! X

Former Member · February 2001

a) like i said before, my bf once tried to commit suicide, and went through a time of being clinically depressed, but now he's happy as larry! it does get better!

b) you wanna be an F1 driver? you'll have to beat me to it! (once i've got my provisional licence, learnt to drive, got my racing licence, bribed Bernie Ecclescakes to let me drive etc...)

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

Former Member · February 2001

i'm sorry i kinda missed ur post bcoz BT cut me off for a while, but now i'm back (with a vengence).

Don't apologise, it wasn't ur fault u felt so bad. We have all forgiven u, and a lot of know what ur going thru, so if u eva wanna talk then uv got loadsa listening ears! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">

Don't stop posting! We still want you ((((((l-i-l)))))))

does life look better after ur near death experience? i hope it dus (coz u only get 1 chance - as far as i know cause i aint died yet!)

anyway, lotsa luv and juicy hugs @ ya,

~*~Drifter~*~

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.

Im Sorry

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