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He still carries a photo of his ex

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Any one who read my prevoius post re "Online relationship complications" may understand this one a little better. When he finally left his ex properly, he still had a photo of his ex in his wallet, i went bananas at him. His excuse was that at that time she didn't know about me, and after the suicide attempt, he didn't want her feeling that he didn't give a damn, i accepted this. He then replaced the photo for one of his children which was fine. Then one day when he came to visit, he was in the shower and curiosity got the better of me, so i looked in his wallet, and low and behold, but not to my surprise there was gis ex lurking behind the children. I dare not say owt as we had a right row the last time. Is it for her benefit or is it him who can't let go.

Ignoring all this, he travels miles to see me, he spent loads at Xmas and bought me a PC and other stuff, he is now living at home with his mum.

But when he goes to sheffield to see kids or see a hockey match and is with her, he always has his mobile off. When he's with me its on and it don't matter if his ex texts or phones.

I know he is sensitive and probably blames himself for the suicide attempt, but he must realise that i too have feelings, i just don't know how to tell him how i feel.

When we are together everything seems great and peachy. Maybe its me!!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a very complicated situation mandi, it may just be that he feels too uilty about the suicide to take the photo out of his wallet. He could be using as a form of punishment without even realising <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    Why not give him a wallet sized photo of yourself for him to put in there.

    He obviously thinks alot of you, but I can understand how it upsets you, I would feel the same <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    Hang in there mandi

    j9
    I had a life once, but I stopped feeding it so one day it just walked away.

    MTS ^5 ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your right, i have never been so happy as am now, and i don't want to start a row or seem insensitive as deep down i feel bad for his ex. I just have to keep telling myself if he didn't want me he would say so, or at least stop being so bloody nice to me!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well some people like to remember the good times that they shared with each other and maybe his ex reminded him of the good times he had. there is nothing bad about it I have done it my self.
    I think you should just leave it to him what he puts in his wallet and if it makes him happy it should make you happy watching him be happy if u know what I mean.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can understand this is upsetting for you,

    i would feel exactly the same as you,

    but when i think about it ive got pictures of a few of my exs n i havent got any in a wallet but like i used to have them ont he wall with all my other pics when i had some up but ive took em all down now,

    it was just for the memorys really and because they was a part of my past n that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by mandi7810:
    Your right, i have never been so happy as am now, and i don't want to start a row or seem insensitive as deep down i feel bad for his ex. I just have to keep telling myself if he didn't want me he would say so, or at least stop being so bloody nice to me!!!!

    And that's the point mandi. he's got history with this woman that is more than just being an ex-boyfriend. because of the children, he will always be linked to her.

    but i also don't think u need to see this as a competitive situation. from what i've read here, it sounds like he loves you. if u give him his space and let him deal with the things he has to, i think he will love u more. just cherish the time u have with him and don't worry about the other stuff. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    also, feels to me HAS to spend time with her and the kids, but WANTS to spend time with you... that makes all the difference.

    good luck.
    I know tomorrow brings the consequence at hand, but I keep living this day like the next will never come.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Everything you say is right i know, and i keep saying to myself, if he wanted to end it he would have done by now, we made sure at the begining that we were doing the right thing, and if not to end it there and then, but we didn't. Also can i make one thing clear, his ex is not the mother of his children. His Kids live in sheffield with their mother, but when he visits them, he also sees his ex who also lives in shefield, and stays at her house, in the spare room of course!! this is sort of why i feel like i do. I don't mind him being mates with her, i'm mates with my ex, but mine lives down the road and i don't see him as much as he sees his!! There are complications on his side, and i know why it is important for him to see her, but it don't mean i have to like it. I guess i'll have to grin and bear it a little longer, as long as he keeps comming back to me.
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