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prefering one nighters?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Recently having added the lush brother of my friend to my number, I began thinking about my attitude towards sex. If I'm honest I've only ever had sex with one proper boyfriend, the rest have all been one night things/fuck buddies with friends I've known for years. After the session on saturday though I'm wondering if this is normal because I had liked her brother for aaages and although I can handle the fact that it was a nice way to round off the evening for us both, I'm finding it hard to swallow that he's not wondered "what if?"
That probably makes no sense. I'll try and explain the way I see things, a lot of my friends sleep around, fair enough. A fair few only see sex as something which should be kept in a relationship, but I'm...in between.
I've never slept with a stranger for a one night stand and never would, but should I maybe rethink the way I view sex or is this perfectly healthy? I don't dig the whole "making love" even when I was with my b/f of 2 and a half years. I much prefer the rough stuff. (and now I sound like a big dirty pervert lol)
I guess I'm happy enough, it's just when I have strong lovey dovey feelings for someone the feelings are never reciprocated to the same degree.
For anyone whos finished this, thanks for reading! I'd like any opinions
That probably makes no sense. I'll try and explain the way I see things, a lot of my friends sleep around, fair enough. A fair few only see sex as something which should be kept in a relationship, but I'm...in between.
I've never slept with a stranger for a one night stand and never would, but should I maybe rethink the way I view sex or is this perfectly healthy? I don't dig the whole "making love" even when I was with my b/f of 2 and a half years. I much prefer the rough stuff. (and now I sound like a big dirty pervert lol)
I guess I'm happy enough, it's just when I have strong lovey dovey feelings for someone the feelings are never reciprocated to the same degree.
For anyone whos finished this, thanks for reading! I'd like any opinions
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Comments
Either way, I'd tend to think this could get emotionally overwhelming after a while. Otherwise, all that's on the line is your health and your reputation. So long as that's in order, of course, you're free to be whoever and do whatever you please.
You say that you prefer the rough stuff. You can still have rough sex though whilst in a relationship. I'm like you and prefer rough sex compared to the slow romantic stuff. Being in a relationship doesn't rule it out.
You are young. There isn't a written rule saying that you cannot have one night stands and fuck buddies. If a relationship isn't what you want and both you and the guy you are sleeping with know it is no-strings-attached-sex where is the harm?
Well, I'll know next time! Keep the replies comin ladies and gents
I will tell you, even as a male expected to partake in similar -- in fact, even more promiscuous -- behavior, that it's not as easy to separate emotional attachment from sex as people like to let on. That's where I would see it taking a toll.
Its not good to have random sex with someone you like/have feelings for. It just gets messy because you get emotionally involved.
and if you're not in a relationship then it's more likely than not for you to get your buttons pressed via a casual fling.
not a problem as long as you're careful!
relationship sex is great, but so is no strings attatched sex.
Im currently at a stage in my life where I really dont want a relationship. Im busy with career stuff, hobbies etc and to be honest really enjoy my own space inbetween all the busy stuff. Im too honest to have a relationship then make excuses to someone when im not in the mood to meet up so im happier single than treating someone like $h1t and feeling guilty about it.
With all that in mind im still a bloke with urges and the desire to have sex dont go away just as im single through choice. I dont have sex anything like as often as when in a relationship but am happy to take no strings action when I can get it without feeling any guilt. If both people are consenting wheres the harm in that.
When im ready for a relationship and/or I happen to meet someone really special then all will be good and I will commit 100%.
Thats my situation atm.
LOL!!
me too!
anyone wanna have fun! lol
:yes: agreed.
It probably felt really good to get it on with your friends brother, a real high, but sounds like it was a bit of a comedown when it didn't then turn into a blossoming romance. Obviously we can't say for sure whether or not he has deeper feelings for you, but it might be that you just have to put it down to experience - enjoy the memory and try to think positively about your future relationships. There's a good article about sex in different kinds of relationships here. Hope you find it useful