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Advice please!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
My boyfriend is quite keen on trying anal sex. I don't have anything against it so don't mind giving it a go. We've spoken about it, and when we try it we're going to take it slowly, and if I want to stop at any time we will etc. Am just a bit anxious (if that's the right word) that it's going to hurt?...(have read about people's bad experiences before! :confused: )

Was just wondering if anyone has any tips/advice for trying it? and if it's one of those things that feels better the more you try it? maybe....

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks xx :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Lots of KY Jelly or other lube, protection of course and to be honest like your first time having sex, stay relaxed, if you tense up then it will hurt. Take it slowly and if you dont like it stop. Dont let him go banging away until you feel really comfortable with it.

    Good luck!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The trick, as you have identified, is to take it slowy ... so slowly in fact that you may not even attempt full penetration after a number of attempts.

    Get him to initially start with lots of lube and to gently rub your 'opening' and then, when you feel ready, allow him to slowly slide in his little finger.

    He should slide that in and out slowly so that you get used to the feel of a foreign body in there .. and after a while, get him to use a larger finger. And then from there, to put in two fingers - all the while keeping you well lubricated.

    At some stage, when you can take two to three fingers up there and you are completey relaxed and lubricated, he can slowly attempt to insert his penis ...

    If he encounters resistance because of your tension, he can withdraw slightly and then slowly reattempt it. Just keep it slow and unhurried and sooner or later, you will get the knack of it. It should initially be uncomfortable rather than painful if done correctly.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thank you :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've tried it...didnt hurt, felt, erm, strange, but def didnt hurt :) just follow the advice given above...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    use lubrication! i didn't the first time and it hurt. mind you it hurt the other times too! just make sure he knows to take it steady, maybe you could guide him in at your own pace.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for all your help. *fingers crossed* it will be OK. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It'll obviously be strange because you haven't done it before and it's a new experience, so just enjoy it and after a while you'll get used to it, even enjoy it :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My advice would be pretty much the same a Teagan's. Altho its sometimes good to use a small vibrator to erm " loosen" a small thin one kinda makes u aware of what it would be like then its a good base to decide if you want to progress or not.

    Be aware it really feels strange. you kinda feel like you need to go to the toilet lol.

    Good luck
    Blaze
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have to say the times i've done it i've never used any type of lubrication. Pain is an understatement, yet quite enjoyable actually :p

    Yeah just don't let him proper ram it in. Thats another thing that hurts :yeees:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Although we haven't gotten to the full penetration stage, I've found that short fastish thrusts were better than one long slow push. So he'd push and then stay there for a bit, I'd get used to it and he'd go a little further.

    The trick really is to stay relaxed, it hasn't hurt me as long as i've managed that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As others have said, s-l-o-w-l-y + tonnes of lube. Try getting used to the sensation with fingers, tongue, dildo etc before penetration with a penis.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think its one of those things that some people enjoy and some people don't. I go by the saying dont knock anything until you've tried it. I tried it with my ex and as lucifer said, i also didnt use any lube and it hurt. I have tried it since and i still didnt enjoy it but i also know other people who have tried it and have enjoyed it. everyone is different
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've only tried it the once. 3 fingers went in, but as soon a his cock entered just a tiny bit... ARGH!!! :shocking:

    Haven't tried it since but that was when we first started getting sexual, so will try again at some point once I'm more experienced with other things.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Might not be the right thread for it, but I was wondering the following:

    Is there any chance the girl gets off of anal sex? Are there any important erogenous zones in there (other than the sphincter, I guess). Is anal sex merely a courtesy towards the boy, or do girls really get something out of it.

    thanks.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes a lot of girls love it, a lot of girls can take it or leave it, and a lot of girls hate it.
    Everyone is different. if you dont do it right it can be excruciatingly painful and a bad experience can put someone off for good.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i quite enjoy it...am i strange? i think if u get a good angle then you can feel him against various parts of your external anatomy, on the inside he can be hitting the back wall of the vagina as well as bits that dont usually get hit. Plus both parties have spare fingers, and there are a clit and a vagina just asking for additional stimulation...

    my advice is to lie on your front and get him to give you a really good massage so your really relaxed and slippy, and that way he can give your bum some attention to see if things are going to progress without the "bend over...hang on...yep......yup my fingers up ur bum is it comfy...?" scenario.

    i reckon u should probably make sure he wears a condom, because getting things from the back passage in to the urinary tract is a great big cause of urinary tract infections like cystitis (which is why girls wipe from front to back...) in which case beware that you use a lube/massage gel thats safe to use with rubber.

    my biggest fear was that his penis would get dirty with...yeah...but dont worry, i doesnt not in my experience anyway.

    have fun.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But poo comes out of there :nervous:

    It really does not appeal to me
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