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Saying I Love You.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right, I've been seeing this fella for a while now and although I do love him and tell him it, when I'm on the phone to him in the company of others and he ends the call with "I love you", I am unable to return with a response. I just say "Right, Bye" or something to that effect. This hurts him and I know it does. Is there any way you guys think I can fix this or..can you's tell me why you think I do this?
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Ilora x
How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?
After a certain age, you shouldn't be uncomfortable with expressing yourself amongst others....:)
I always think its weird when i hear people on the phone to their partner and they DONT say it.
Admittedly if you were doing the whole " I love you, mwah mwah, you put the phone down first, no you, heehee.....no you, ok.... love you...... no YOU put it down" etc etc ad nauseum, then yes, maybe i could see why you wouldnt want to do it in public, but just saying "love you too", Most people dont bat an eyelid at it.
Not really sure what you can do. Just say it?
See, easy.
ditto...
it's not like you are having phone sex...
never understood why people where ashame of expressing their feelings for their partner in front of other...
If anyting you should be proud to have someone to love ad that love you back...
I can understand the pain of your boyfriend, you put what people will think before him...
i agree with you. i dunno, i try to say it but the words just won't come out....i'll try harder in the future cos i don't wanna continue hurting him
well just do it then... it's not that hard... just concentrate on him, think of the love you have for each other and try to forget what is around... trying closing your eyes it might help...
Just think how much it will mean to him when you finally say it
just say 'you too, bye'.
When it's banded about like just another word then it's just stupid, but when it's the right time for both people then it's the most amazing feeling in the world.
Hopefully it'll come, and you might even end up saying it without realising it.
Ditto.
I always thought i was the only one. Actually caused huge problems with an ex. I didnt once say it to his face in 3 years.
if you mean it then surely you shouldn't have a problem in saying it?
It took me a good three months before I manage to say "I love you" to my boyfriend, but he only started to say it about a week or two before me (we only saw each other one night a week at that time), I think it took his three go before I replied "I love you too" The other two times I just cuddles up to him and kissed him on the cheek.
So if he says I love you when you are together try at least showing it with a kiss or a cuddle, as that should reasure him a bit that you do really love him.
Have you tried talking to him about the fact that you find it hard to say I love you. If you find it too hard to talk to him about it write him a letter explaining that you do love him but just can't seem to say the words. Tell him how special his is to you etc.
I've stopped saying it, and it's really hard. I want to tell him how much I love him, but I'm scared that if I did he'd just say I know, or worse it'd be silent.
Just tell him, or say that you love him and if push comes to shove and it ends, say it was love and lust combined to start with but that you really loved him as a friend.
Good point that.
It's hard to word it, but if your just in that stage when you don't really know what love is or haven't felt it before then a kiss and a cuddle still has a positive effect. My first girlfriend first said it to me when we were holding hands, then I just gave her hand a wee squeeze and we just looked at each other and smiled, I didn't really need to say anything.
I'm a sensitive boy and I need feel loved, I really couldn't go out with someone who was really indifferent about the whole love thing, to be honest.