A question for the guys...

BillieTheBot · May 2006

If you sleep with a girl shortly after asking her out, for example, first or second date, is that because you are just after sex? Is it because you don't respect her? Or do you respect the girl but feel ready to sleep with her?

Do guys have a lack of respect for girls that sleep with them very early on?

Just wanting a few opinions really.

Former Member · May 2006

I'm not a guy but I slept with my recent ex after a couple of dates and he showed no signs of disrespect afterwards. We stayed together for a few weeks and it ended because I wanted it to, he wanted it to be more serious than me.

I think it depends on the guy and I bet you probably already know deep down which kind he is...

Former Member · May 2006

Depends really on what I’m after.

Former Member · May 2006

Depends if looking for sex, then I would make it clear and both people know it's for sex only... and she would be respected... so not sleeping with her quickly cos not respect her at all...

You can sleep together on the first night because of extreme attraction and passion and not because you are after sex or have sex in mind...

I believe some of the biggest love story can start with sex on first date because the passion and love is there from the start...

Former Member · May 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

If you sleep with a girl shortly after asking her out, for example, first or second date, is that because you are just after sex? Is it because you don't respect her? Or do you respect the girl but feel ready to sleep with her?

Nope, some people just like having sex. For men, sex usually isn't that big a deal, women are slightly different...they usually attach some deeper meaning to it.

*Stacey* wrote:

Do guys have a lack of respect for girls that sleep with them very early on?

Nope.

Former Member · May 2006

To be honest, if I like a girl, I want to have sex with her, I don't even care if you don't date first, if she puts out I just know she loves it too! lol

I mean there is no link between that and telling if someone is a dirty slag or not.

Former Member · May 2006

This is thing though, would a guy assume a girl was a slag if she "put out" early on?

Former Member · May 2006

Depends on the girl. Everyone is different, you can't judge someone on just that basis

.

Former Member · May 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

This is thing though, would a guy assume a girl was a slag if she "put out" early on?

Depends how much he thinks about it.

I've slept with girls on the first night and the next morning they are desperate to explain that they don't normally do that kind of thing etc etc. (don't want to be viewed as easy)

Sometimes I believe them, sometimes I don't. Who cares anyway? If you’re after a relationship then trust is a lot more important than whether you put out on the first night or not.

Former Member · May 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

This is thing though, would a guy assume a girl was a slag if she "put out" early on?

No! I would be disappointed if she didn't!

Former Member · May 2006

everyone is different. if a guy likes you and thinks he'd like to start seeing you then sleeping with him on the first date isn't going to make a difference. but if a guy only wants a shag then he will either get it or move on.

this annoys me because i have a high sex drive and if i fancy a guy then i will want to have sex just as much as he will. its shit that people think if a girl wants to have sex then she does it with every guy who wants it. i can still be fussy about who i sleep with!

Former Member · May 2006

Also it depends how long you have know each other before you start going out. I had know my boyfriend for 4 months and had already become very close to him so when we started going out the only real difference was the physical stuff. So whilst technically I was sleeping with him within 6 days of first getting together with him romantically I think that is very different to if I had only know him six days.

Former Member · May 2006

put it this way, if you're having doubts/worrying then don't do it

Former Member · May 2006

lipsy wrote:

this annoys me because i have a high sex drive and if i fancy a guy then i will want to have sex just as much as he will. its shit that people think if a girl wants to have sex then she does it with every guy who wants it. i can still be fussy about who i sleep with!

agreed. It doesnt make someone a slag, or any less likely to be monogamous.
I hate those weird double standards for men and women.

Former Member · May 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

If you sleep with a girl shortly after asking her out, for example, first or second date, is that because you are just after sex?

Nope. If someone did that, and then never talked to the girl again, then *that* might mean that they were only after sex.

Is it because you don't respect her? Or do you respect the girl but feel ready to sleep with her?

I'm not sure why anyone would have sex with someone who they don't respect, but maybe that's just me.

Do guys have a lack of respect for girls that sleep with them very early on?

Just wanting a few opinions really.

I can't answer for guys in general, but the amount of time between meeting someone and having sex with them was never something I considered an issue. I'm not sure why it would make any difference.

Former Member · May 2006

Nope doesn't make a difference to me. Ex girlfriend and current girlfriend i slept with first night i met them.

I'm not really keen on the whole dating and waiting thing. Fair enough if a girls not ready i don't want to rush her but chances are we're very different people if she's doing that.

Having said that I have gone after girls with no intention of anything more than a shag so i suppose it just depends.

At the end of the day though you have to do whatever you feel is best for you.

Former Member · May 2006

SuzyCreamcheese wrote:

agreed. It doesnt make someone a slag, or any less likely to be monogamous.
I hate those weird double standards for men and women.

Are those kind of double standards still really a problem? I can only speak for myself and group of friends but none of us have any kind of problem with a girl wanting to get laid. Can it be a big issue?

I mean personally I don't think i'd be too interested in an innocent little princess ... i'd feel guilty ... girls gotta have a bit of experience.

Former Member · May 2006

i have a high sex drive too and wouldn't be bothered about having sex with someone on a second date or somethng but sometimes this can send off the wrong signal!

Former Member · May 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

If you sleep with a girl shortly after asking her out, for example, first or second date, is that because you are just after sex? Is it because you don't respect her... Do guys have a lack of respect for girls that sleep with them very early on?

Some men just want sex, such is life. It's probably a good idea to make a guy wait before you sleep with him, if simply only to work out what he really wants from you.

JsT · May 2006

I hate men who just ask people out for the sex. Gives us decent men a bad name.

Former Member · May 2006

stargalaxy wrote:

Some men just want sex, such is life. It's probably a good idea to make a guy wait before you sleep with him, if simply only to work out what he really wants from you.

Disagree.

To me that smacks of mind game playing. Not a good start to any relationship.

Former Member · May 2006

When I was younger I used to stress about that sort of thing, but I really couldn't care less now. If two mature people both want to have sex, why shouldn't they?

If a guy judges a woman for daring to have a sex drive, then they're not really worth bothering with.

I slept with my boyfriend the first time we went out (not the first time we met but the first 'date') and we were together for 3 years.

Just because you do it once, it doesn't mean you do it all the time.

Former Member · May 2006

well. it doesnt particularly bother me, generally if its a girl i really like im not bothered about waiting till its right before we go ahead and seal the deal so to speak. also i wouldnt think any different if it happened the first or second time we met.

it wouldnt mean i was just after sex, different relationships move at different speeds due to the actions of both people. i certainly disagree with the comment of "make him wait then you know he likes you" thats utter shite, it should be when the time is right for me.

Former Member · May 2006

i think it also depends what i'm after. if i'm just after a bit of fun i'm more likely to not wait but with my ex boyfriend we waited about 5 weeks.

Former Member · May 2006

LacyMay wrote:

Disagree.

To me that smacks of mind game playing. Not a good start to any relationship.

I agree and also if a man wants it bad enough he'll wait a few weeks, get it and then fuck the girl off anyway. Not that I would ever do such a thing

So to sum up my view - I don't think it matters, if a guy just wants a fuck, whether you give him it on the first date or the 50th, if its just a fuck he wants then he'll fuck you off after the deed anyway.
You're best asking the guy you're with, I'm always straight up-front and if am only after sex I let the girl know, its then her choice whether she wants to experience the ride of her life or not hehe

Former Member · May 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

If you sleep with a girl shortly after asking her out, for example, first or second date, is that because you are just after sex? Is it because you don't respect her? Or do you respect the girl but feel ready to sleep with her?

Do guys have a lack of respect for girls that sleep with them very early on?

Just wanting a few opinions really.

Lets put it this way. I don't mind a girl playing a little hard to get.

But then again, there is this thing called the animal attraction!!

I think some guys, and I am not one of them, assume that if a girl does have sex with them immediately that they can "play" 'em how they want. I feel sorry for the girls that don't recognise that soon enough.

Former Member · May 2006

As a general rule I never sleep with a bloke on a first or second "date", it's just not the way I like things to happen but it hasn't developed from a fear of them losing interest, or respect for me or whatever. I think that like most people have said, it's perfectly normal to sleep together quickly after meeting/getting together and then continue on to have a relationship. People go down that route a lot more now, but of course there are going to be men [and women] who get you into bed and then suddenly lose interest. It's a bit of a lottery, but a lot of people's intentions are easily - and correctly - judged, and if not then it's best chalked up to experience.

I slept with my current boyfriend on the first night of "going out" with him after his randomly approaching me the evening before in the pub. It's not something I've done before, but as the previous poster said there's a lot to be said for so-called animal attraction.

I knew I wanted to actually have some form of a "relationship" with him - but of course there was always the risk that he would see it as a one night stand despite having said contrary to that. It's always a bit of a gamble, so maybe it is worth making your intentions clear -- not that I'm sure that'd change anything anyway. Ah, very confusing

A question for the guys...

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