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feeling a bit sorry for myself lol

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I split up with my boyfriend of 8 months on sunday night. It was pretty sad for me as i've never really been in a relationship that long but i realise why it happened.

ANyway, my initial reaction was i need male attention so i text all my "randoms" as i call em to get some attention and see if one of em wud take me out or something.

But now i'm thinkin, i dont know if that feels right. Just because i know that the relationship wasnt working, doesnt mean i want it to be over.
I saw him today for the first time and it was horrible because i just had to carry on like normal (we work together) which wasnt that weird. It made me realise that how we acted before WAS just as friends.

So there is this guy who i have had a little crush type thing on since i was about 8 years old lol i'm now 21!!!! All i have is his "myspace" address so i could send him a msg but im wondering whether to be blantant or jus see if i can make him be friends with me lol or wat

I feel really bizarre... i never really have been in this situation before :( feels strange and i miss my ex lol i think im pretending to myself that i dont hurt..

sorry for the long half pointless chat in this but if ya do have anything to say that wud be good :)

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You only split up with your boyfriend on Sunday night. You need time to yourself.

    I'm a bit like you, when I come out of a relationship I go on the rebound sorta thing but to be honest, I always end up feeling worse afterwards. However, sometimes they do help me get over a ex and deal with the fact we are no longer together.

    Personally, I wouldn't contact this other guy until you have had sometime to yourself and got over your ex. You were together for 8 months so that is still quite a long time. Rushing into another relationship (which it sounds as though you want) when you still have feelings for your ex isn't exactly fair to be honest. If its just a bit of "fun" between you both then fair enough though.

    You miss your ex. You still have feelings. You need time to yourself to deal with the break up. Sorry, I know this isn't exactly helpful...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I second what Stacey said. I was in (still am sort of) a relationship of 12 years. She found someone else. Family friend and all that. I thought of just going out and getting someone. But its a bad thing to do. You need to go through the 3 phases. Hurt, Anger and Over. Once you dont give a flying fuck for them you are ready to move on. Rebounds rarely work. SDA
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lexijb wrote:
    ANyway, my initial reaction was i need male attention so i text all my "randoms" as i call em to get some attention and see if one of em wud take me out or something.

    Hmm, yeah, just the type of behaviour i love in girls.....
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    LeicesterLuke wrote:
    Hmm, yeah, just the type of behaviour i love in girls.....

    Yeah and just the kind of helpful judgemental comment we love on the boards :rolleyes:

    Stacey has made some really valid points - and actually you've got every right to feel sorry for yourself - but being in a rush to fall in love again probably isn't your best option right now and the chances are that if you get involved in anything too soon that it won't be for the right reasons and won't work out in the long run.

    Getting back in contact with old friends can be a really good idea, but to begin with it may be an idea to think of it as simply that - re-building a long lost friendship. That way you will have re-kindled something positive and have nothing to lose - if the relationship just happens to move on then so be it.

    Have a read of thesite's article on Getting over a relationship - you're still in the very early stages so there's a lot to consider.

    I hope you start to feel better soon ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote:
    Yeah and just the kind of helpful judgemental comment we love on the boards :rolleyes:

    Yay Helen :yippe:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    **Helen** wrote:
    Yeah and just the kind of helpful judgemental comment we love on the boards :rolleyes:
    QUOTE]

    Mmmm yeah, you would stick up for her seeing as your a girl. So that's fair is it, txting a load of guys like she cares, just because she wants some attention and is feeling a bit sorry for herself. Yeah that's really made me feel good in the long run being on the wrong end of that sort of thing too many times before. Oh, but i forgot, girls can do as they like, whereas if a lad did that sort of thing he'd be branded a lying scumbag or something who's not worthy of any girls attention. And what is it with everyone for wanting to slate a valid opinion all the time just because it doesn't match their own views? Freedom of speech is dead.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nope, freedom of speack would be dead if no one was allowed to slate you as you put it,

    you want freedom of speach but you are having a go because people dont agree with you? shurly they have the right to their opinion as you have to yours.

    i think you need to start looking up definitions before you start typing.

    to the original poster i would wait a week or so before you so anything and then still see if you want to do it. that way you dont get yourself into a relationship that you dont want to be in
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    LeicesterLuke wrote:
    Mmmm yeah, you would stick up for her seeing as your a girl.

    I'd stick up for anyone who was made to feel bad when they were going through a difficult time. I don't object to your view that receiving texts from someone who isn't genuinely interested in you can be upsetting - but I do object to your sweeping generalisation and lack of empathy. You could have explained to the orginal poster why you don't think sending the texts is a good idea and why it can hurt to be on the receiving end. People make mistakes when they are feeling low - it's fine to point them out - but it's far better to try and be constructive with it rather than just slate them.
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