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Has this ever happned to anyone and how did it turn out?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi. To cut a long story short. Wife and I (of 10 very happy years) had problems earlier this year. I said some hurtful things. Wife took it bad. Family friend (who has just seperated from his wife after 25 hurtful years) is getting together with my wife and they want to live together. They went on holiday with the kids about 4 weeks ago (they all get on great and he makes them all laugh) and when she came back she told me that they wanted to seperate and to divorce in 2 years. She will not divorce me right away. But they had declared their undying love for each other during the holiday. They never told me at the time. It just came out last weekend. I am leaving in October and he will move in as soon as I go.
Does the panel think:
This is going to last?
Does she realy Love him? He told her his feelings on the Tuesday and she told him on the Tursday that she felt the same.
Is this real love? Or infatuation?
I could not have her back. But part of me wants to becuase I still Love her. She says she loves me but Loves him aswell.
I am very confused by this. She has allways been very loving to me. It hurts as well that the kids get on so well with him.
He is a nice guy though. I cannot help liking him. He is a Loverble Rouge. You know the type. Can get on with anyone and she says he makes her laugh and they have a lot in common.
Anyone give me an insight into whats going on?
SDA.
Does the panel think:
This is going to last?
Does she realy Love him? He told her his feelings on the Tuesday and she told him on the Tursday that she felt the same.
Is this real love? Or infatuation?
I could not have her back. But part of me wants to becuase I still Love her. She says she loves me but Loves him aswell.
I am very confused by this. She has allways been very loving to me. It hurts as well that the kids get on so well with him.
He is a nice guy though. I cannot help liking him. He is a Loverble Rouge. You know the type. Can get on with anyone and she says he makes her laugh and they have a lot in common.
Anyone give me an insight into whats going on?
SDA.
0
Comments
It must feel hurtful that the kids like him too, but although it might not feel like it now, this is a really good thing. At least theres a chance they may not be too traumatised - thats as good as you can hope for. Of course YOU will be traumatised for a while, but time is the only thing that will heal that.
As for the kids getting on with him - it is bound to hurt you as you are their dad and he is trying to take on that role, but remember you are still their dad and you have to now make sure that you see them as often as you can and maintain the fatherly role. It is a good thing that they get on with him otherwise it could hurt them alot. I am fortunate in that I get on with my stepdad and with my dads wife, but my uncle divorced a few years ago and he has two sons. One of them likes the new fella but the other one hates him, refuses to go on holiday with them, won't talk to him and is generally miserable, angry and upset all the time which then affects his schoolwork, his social life and his general well-being. I am sure that you want your children to be happy so it is a good thing even though it may not seem like it now.
Best wishes x
How is she feeling now? Does she even give a fuck? I am going out tomorow to a singles night. I know I am not single I just want to talk to people. I am not ready yet for a relationship. How can she jump from 1 relationship straight into another? That bugs me. SDA
It could just be lust, or love. Who knows. It just seems odd she's so keen for another guy to replace you straight away. If she was so certain, then she'd be divorcing you asap.
...if you want advice, then I would say have a discussion with your wife. I think theres some things you need to get out in the open - how you feel betrayed shes started another relationship with another man (one who you were both friends with) so soon after falling out with you. I'm not saying she's right or wrong for doing this, but you need to talk to her, if for nothing advice just to get some closure and realise that she's gone for good and you need to concentrate on being happy on your own.
But maybe if you talk to her she'll want you back. It all depends. Even if a marriage is falling apart counselling servicse like Relate can be useful in order to make the seperation easier on both parties. Or it could save your marriage. Think about it.