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Important moment in my life....

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
*Takes big breath*

OK. SO. I have finally admitted to myself that I like girls as much as I like boys if not more. So I thought I better start by trying to admit it to other people. And as none of you are particularly judgemental I thought I would start with you guys :)

So far I have told my mum and my step dad. I have spent numerous hours on the phone with my ma explaining that it is not just a phase, and just because I started my period at 14 does not mean that I have ages to wait till my hormones calm down and will be 'straight' again. Hmm. But anyway I think she has come to accept it.

SO far so good. The only thing is I have met some one I really like. But I met her over the internet, which makes me sound a bit creepy but seriously, there is no way I am going on 'the scene' and have no gay friends :(

Yep so she is beautiful, vietnamese, only problem is that she lives in Norfolk :( Grr. At times like these I wish I had a teleportation device. But my mum has said that she can come and stay in June which is a good start :)

So anyway my next dilemma is how to tell my friends. I have told one, who I have kissed anyways so its not as if it was a huuuggee shock to her. But the others, even my closest friends have absolutely nooo idea. But the problem is I have committed to sharing a flat with my best friend for the next four years - what if she freaks out or something?! Ahhhh what do I do? Have I made the right choice!

Its too late anyways.....

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I haven't really got any advice - i just wanted to say good luck to you! :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww thankyou :) I just want all the support i can get! *Talia the supporthog*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She is your best friend, she must love you. Has she ever come across as homophobic?

    As long as you're you... Why does it matter who you bring home?

    For the record I came out to my mother a few weeks ago, after learning how damned real it is liking a lady and wanting to charm the pants off her and make her feel amazing... My friends already knew though and seeing as I have a lot of friends who're very open minded it was fine...

    However, I am not a scene lady in the slightest... I can't say I've found it very accepting and it's a bit of a meat market in my opinion.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes i dont like the aspect of sleaziness. Also im quite shy and feminine and romantic. Hmm dont think i would find that in a gay bar. But the girl i like, she is sooo romantic, writes me letters, we talk on the phone everyday, etc etc. and the difference between her and every bloke ive dated is that there are NO GAMES! we tell eachother exactly how we feel from day one, and dont try to play well he hasnt said that to me yet, so if i say that im gonna sound desperate.

    My mum said I was just falling for the romance, but I dont think that is it. Cos I fancied her first, and she is just so beautiful and goddamn hot. Gah. Im so lucky :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talia wrote:
    Yes i dont like the aspect of sleaziness. Also im quite shy and feminine and romantic. Hmm dont think i would find that in a gay bar. But the girl i like, she is sooo romantic, writes me letters, we talk on the phone everyday, etc etc. and the difference between her and every bloke ive dated is that there are NO GAMES! we tell eachother exactly how we feel from day one, and dont try to play well he hasnt said that to me yet, so if i say that im gonna sound desperate.

    My mum said I was just falling for the romance, but I dont think that is it. Cos I fancied her first, and she is just so beautiful and goddamn hot. Gah. Im so lucky :D
    Trust me, women can be just as bad as men at playing games. I have seen wmen rip people apart mentally, no joke... But you are lucky to meet somebody that makes your heart sing.

    I guess the important thing to do is not to label yourself, just be as free as possible. Even if you are falling only for the romance, if it is benefitting both of you positively then what is the harm?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yep thats true. But I do think I really like her. Its just the distance aspect that is worrying us at the moment. I will be at Uni next year and cant afford to visit her every weekend :no:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    long distance relationships can be pretty tricky, although i'm sure if you both want to make it work, you'll find a way.
    also, well done for coming out. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    talia wrote:
    SO far so good. The only thing is I have met some one I really like. But I met her over the internet, which makes me sound a bit creepy but seriously, there is no way I am going on 'the scene' and have no gay friends :(

    Why do you think this sounds creepy? I don't see a problem or this coming across as creepy. And it's not as if hardly anyone goes out with someone over the internet nowadays, is it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No worries about meeting someone online, it's no worse than making friends or whatever here. Look at Kermit and GWST, for example... (sorry, you guys are the classic Site couple!)

    Back to the matter in hand. Take your time, don't rush into telling your friend. Maybe sound her out a bit on the bi/gay issue. I'd suggest if there's even a chance she wouldn't want to live with you then you should make it sooner rather than later. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but you have to be sure you'll be ok however it goes and that means being prepared for it.

    There's quite a good coming out guide on UCL Union LGBT Society's site. There are loads of others around, obviously, but that's the one that springs to mind (largely 'cos I run it!).

    And congrats for telling your parents, that's really tough. It was like pulling teeth to get me to tell mine, and they're all liberal and groovy anyway!

    If you wanna chat, PM me or you can email support@uclulgbt.co.uk, and mark it FAO Kate.

    (Mods, I hope it's ok putting that address up, it's not personal or private.)

    I've gone slightly into LGBT Drop-In mode, I hope I don't sound patronising or anything! I really hope everything goes well for you, there's loads of support around if you need it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Aww thanks! But I still havent told my dad, brother or step mother. And loads of friends still to tell, but i will probably wait until after i meet her, as there is no point in creating havoc if everything goes pearshaped.
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