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Fuck buddies

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
where do you find one?

I am gettin over a very serious relationship and its been nearly 3 months not really over him yet, and i need a fuck....some people may not agree with this but i think that it would help me get over my ex. I was talking to a lad the other day over MSN. We met at the gym and he thinks im really fit and i think he is REALLY fit too, so i thought hed be ideal, but he didnt seem to want to! (I thought most men wouldnt turn down casuel sex offered to them on a plate!!) - i wouldnt ever have feelings for him because he is not my type and i wouldnt go out with him. So im stuck because he is the only person i wouldnt call a friend that id want to have sex with (because i wouldnt wanna ruin a relationship) so i was wanderin how you get one?

thanks

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go to the shop and buy one
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Mia_16 wrote:
    go to the shop and buy one

    Tesco has them on offer at the moment. Buy one get one free. Hurry!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    They're cheaper in Asda. Mine was 19p. Best before tomorrow.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In all seriousness though, you do not NEED a fuck buddy. It would never replace your ex or help you get over him. Things like that do not come when you are looking for it. It takes time to get over long relationships. Occupy your time with mates and other activities whilst you sort your head out. In the meantime get a vibe :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm inclined to agree. I don't think a meaningless shag will help you move on, that will unfortunately have to come with time.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Sex without love is merely healthy exercise." -- Robert Heinlein
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Sex without love is merely healthy exercise." -- Robert Heinlein
    But remember, kids. It's only healthy if you use a condom.

    ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I couldn't cope with a fuck buddy myself. I get emotionally attached when it comes to sex, I struggle to seperate sex from other emotions, so a fuck buddy is the last thing I'd need.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    I couldn't cope with a fuck buddy myself. I get emotionally attached when it comes to sex, I struggle to seperate sex from other emotions, so a fuck buddy is the last thing I'd need.

    I am like that now although I never used to be. One night stand, ok. Fuck buddy, no.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ButtonMoon wrote:
    I am like that now although I never used to be. One night stand, ok. Fuck buddy, no.
    It's a matter of finding two people who want sex and nothing else. Not easy.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    It's a matter of finding two people who want sex and nothing else. Not easy.

    One persons feelings for the other normally develop and they end up wanting more out of it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ButtonMoon wrote:
    One persons feelings for the other normally develop and they end up wanting more out of it.
    And I suspect that person would be me in any arrangement. I think I'd wait for a relationship to come along first.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :no: Believe me, having a fuck buddy will not help you get over your ex.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *Stacey* wrote:
    :no: Believe me, having a fuck buddy will not help you get over your ex.

    probably not in the long run no, but it could help you feel better for a while...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kat_B wrote:
    probably not in the long run no, but it could help you feel better for a while...
    I dunno to be honest. I'd say one night stands would be better but it depends on a number of things.

    With fuck buddies, in the vast majority of cases, there is always one that develops feelings for another and thats where it goes downhill.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i ave not seen one fuck buddy arrangement thats worked out in the long run.. or even become a relationship when feelings have developed and i am basing that on own experience and also friends.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    "Sex without love is merely healthy exercise." -- Robert Heinlein

    And healthy exercise is never a bad thing.
    So, make your own conclusions.

    I agree though, having a fuck buddy won't help you get over someone but it will make you feel much better and more importantly, satisfied...

    In terms of where you get one, type "fuck buddy" in google and see where it takes ya.... :hyper:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Googling that sounds dangerous!

    Having a fuck buddy is a difficult one, probably unlikely to work while either of you are properly attached to nearby boyfriends/girlfriends, equally likely to have problems if one of you is on a rebound from another relationship.

    If you can satisfy all of the above, then you can have a lot of fun.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jenni30 wrote:
    where do you find one?

    I am gettin over a very serious relationship and its been nearly 3 months not really over him yet, and i need a fuck....some people may not agree with this but i think that it would help me get over my ex.

    I'm not total disagreeing but from experience this is the wrong attitude for a fuck buddy.
    A fuck buddy is purely for sex. That is it's only purpose. Not for getting over ex's. Like has been said getting over someone takes time nothing else. Sex is great (as long as it is safe) and can help you realise you don't need the ex but that's not all it takes for getting over a relationship.

    As to answer you're question as to how to get one, personally, find someone you like but not a close friend (as it can and does generally go very wrong if it's a close friend) and see what they think of the idea. I'm fairly blunt and up front when it come to what I want but it really depends on how you want to approach the subject.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Fuck buddys only work for a while as things just get too complicated and you say you wont beat yourself up about it but you do!
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    jenni30 wrote:
    where do you find one?

    I am gettin over a very serious relationship and its been nearly 3 months not really over him yet, and i need a fuck....some people may not agree with this but i think that it would help me get over my ex. thanks

    Hi jenni,

    As others have suggested - having a fuck buddy doesn't necessarily mean the no-strings attached fantastic sex the label suggests. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing either. TheSite's article may help you to weigh up the pros and cons of having one. You might want to think about how sex with a partner you love and sex with a friend or even 'associate' can differ. Think carefully about why you think it will help you get over your ex - how might you feel after you've got one - and what relation does that have to getting over your ex?

    Hope that helps ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the advice everyone - just to let you know its been 82 days today since my ex left, and im still not over him, cry nearly every day. Im still on the look out for a sex buddy but also on lookout for new relationships too. But im still lonely. As for thinkin bout other things - being a music student i have PLENTY to kee me busy but wheneva i stop working alex just comes into my head. I cant sleep because of it and im so tired. My AS levels soon im worried they are going to be effected.

    Thanks for the advce again xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if you do get a fuck buddie make sure you dont like him... that just messes it up, trust me been there done that! but if hes hot or ur attracted to him then yeah go for it just dont go thinking you could be his g/f or he could make you happy cause your still not over your ex. if you want a fuck buddie you need to know its just for the sex.
    good luck let us know what happens!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    a don't think a actually went looking for mine kinda just happened. A had one last year and it lasted about 8 months. We stopped it as we started havin feelings for each other. We never told eachother but we confided in friends and they started medling so we both just got sick and ended it. We still mates now and that spark still there but we don't do anything anymore.

    Don't go deliberatly looking for one especially since you just split up with your lad, go out and enjoy yourself with your mates and enjoy life

    Sauce :razz:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I went to a party last night and was kind of on the look out, it was a great party but by the end of the night it got dull and boring and things to do with alex (the ex) kinda got on top of me and i felt quite miserable. I didnt know any of those guys but would have happily shagged one of em if they offered it! which did make me feel quite degraded - so NOT doin that again.

    However I have found someone who i would call a "fuck buddy". We are getting to know each other and seein how it goes. But so its all good atm but have decided im not gonna just "do" sum1 i know nothing about.

    thanks for the advice - btw we split up 94 days ago. So not recent lol

    xxxxxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    jenni30 wrote:
    thanks for the advice - btw we split up 94 days ago. So not recent lol


    stop counting now :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Replicant wrote:
    stop counting now :)

    Lol that was done very nicely.

    I have a fuck buddy - when I saw him recently I felt nothing emotionally and it felt pointless and unsatisfying. He's an ex bf from a fair few years ago now. I was very hung up on him and it took an incredibly long time to get over him, so when we would meet for sex, it was more because I wanted to know I could still...seduce him as we never said "Let's meet for sex", it was always shielded with a excuse to see one another. The feelings made it intimate, made it satisfying but made it heartbreaking.

    You may want sex...but I think this is wrong for you. I started to feel used when I began to lose the feelings and that's not pleasant, to feel like just a body.

    Of course it's different for different people, you maybe able to detach emotionally and just maintain a phsyical thing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Replicant wrote:
    stop counting now :)

    lol yeah!! i dont keep hte number in my head - i know when he left, and i know the date - so i counted!! though i do know roughly how long it is - not always exactly. I know i am sadly in love lol

    thanks for the advice - i dont know if it would take the meaning out of sex. I dont think it would for me like you said people are different but i will bear that in mind thanks. Dont you think that if it was someone i was extremely attracted to (body wise) it would feel really good and wouldnt feel like "just a body" but there would be no emothional feelings there? (that doesnt really make sense i dont even know what i mean!!)

    xxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ButtonMoon wrote:
    Tesco has them on offer at the moment. Buy one get one free. Hurry!!

    glad mines a 24 hour store still have time to go get one for some action tonight
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
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