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'Seeing Each Other'

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Alright so... I've been 'seeing' this guy for the past couple of weeks and it's wonderful and amazing and it makes so much of a change to be treated like a princess.

HOWEVER

I've never really been 'seeing' someone before. And I don't quite get it. If feels like we're in a relationship, and we do things that boyfriends and girlfriends do. Only we're not.

So...how does it work? Is it like this cause he's not sure whether he wants to go out with me? Or is this just a middle ground cause he's taking things slowly? Does this mean that we will at some point end up being together, or might it just all stop before it gets there?

Or is it one of those things that differs from person to person, so I gotta actually ask him about us and what he thinks?

I just don't understand what it all means, is all! So any help would be awesome.

xx

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Was like that with me and my boyfriend at the beginning...... i thought he liked me, and i knew i liked him, and we saw each other everyday got on really well, were all touch-feely with each other, everyone else thought we were going out...so i asked him what was going on, well, i said "you do realise everyone thinks we're going out?" and then we discussed it :p... so yeah, just mention it, i think a lot of people go through that phase of being with someone, but not officially
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I sympathise with your plight. It reaaaally does depend. How did this situation begin, anyway? If you ask him about the relationship and he just wants you for the boyfriend girlfriend activities then he'll run a mile, or he might run a mile anyway because he's scared of commitment. But if you don't ask and he wants you just for the stuff, he'll just string you along. Predicament.

    My plan of action would be (personally) let things take their course naturally - if it feels 'right' then it probably is. You say he's been treating you like a princess, if he wasn't interested in you then he probably wouldn't take so much care. My inclination is he likes you but is too shy to bring anything up. But I may be wrong, so don't take what I say as fact. You have to be wary of people who can take advantage of you, especially in a relationship. But you don't want to be wary all the time so you'll never make any great relationships!

    Go with the flow, I say. Go on dates, do romantic things, hold his hand, things like that :). So long as it feels ok, of course. The amount of times my friends have kissed other people when they didnt feel comfortable about it because they thought that was their role... it completely undermines everything in my opinion.

    My last word (because I am rambling on) is to me, honesty and openness is everything. But at the start of a relationship when it's more vulnerable you need to think how much you want to talk about in a serious way. Otherwise, just have a nice time and see where it goes. I'm sure in a short time you'll really see where the relationship is headed, it'll either stagnate or start to move on :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it means you're half together kinda thing. is it exclusive though? 'cause i'm sure you wouldn't want him to be off seeing other people, too. just enjoy it and see where it goes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know how you feel and it is really annoying! I've been 'seeing' this lad for about 6 months, and only last month i asked him waht was going on. I felt the same as you, it felt like we were going out, but we actually weren't and i was getting pretty pissed off with not knowing where i stood. So bit the bullet and asked him and it turns out that he had just broke up with someone before we met and didn't want to jump into another relationship straight away. We are still seeing each other and i feel better now i know whats going on.

    All you need to do is ask, he might be a bit scared about taking it further incase it's not what you wanted, if you haven't talked about it then he wouldn't know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmm... all excellent, sound advice as per usual!

    Think I could maybe use everyone's advice at once? It's only been two weeks, to be fair. But do you think it would be worth giving it a set time and then just asking him if he hasn't mentioned anything?

    I'm pretty sure he's not the kinda guy that would be doing this so that he can see other people too. But then, I've been sure about my previous boyfriends.

    Last night when we were lying together, I just kinda asked (I was -very- tired) why he was so good to me. He said it was because he enjoyed being good to me, and he thinks that I deserve it. Then he said something about how I deserved someone who would treat me like this. It felt like a hint? Or was he maybe stating that that someone wouldn't be him?

    Argh!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course he wasn't stating it wouldn't be him!

    I was sort of 'seeing' my girlfriend for a few weeks, it was really confusing and i sympathise with you. Maybe you should do what i did and wait till new years eve as an excuse to take the next step ;)

    Actually sod that new year is too far away, just make the next step.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A Photograph Of Me wrote:
    Of course he wasn't stating it wouldn't be him!

    I was sort of 'seeing' my girlfriend for a few weeks, it was really confusing and i sympathise with you. Maybe you should do what i did and wait till new years eve as an excuse to take the next step ;)

    Actually sod that new year is too far away, just make the next step.

    HA HA! Yes! It's far too far away!

    Hmm...we're going to the cinema together tomorrow (I'm taking him out). Do you think then would be an okay time to ask? Just...kinda mention something? It'll be the second time we've been out out since our first date a few weeks ago. Actually...our first date was a month ago!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, we did a bit of talking last night.

    He said that the reason that we're 'seeing each other' is cause it's very likely he's gonna be home over the summer. He said that he didn't want there to be any long distance relationship strains for us during the summer (I totally know what he means there!) and that it wouldn't be so fun if the first few months of our relationship were spent apart.

    So...he's still gonna visit while he's away, and wants to continue seeing me when he gets back. By then, he said, we can change things in our relationship.

    So yay! Thanks again guys!

    x
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