Home› Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

he can't cum during sex!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
me and my partner have been together for nearly 3 years, and we have a reasonably healthy sex life. we're using comdoms and i'm on the pill to regulate my periods.

no matter what we try he just can't seem to cum from sex, which is kind of annoying me! he's said that it's not that i'm not tight enough but it just doesn't seem to happen, he doesn't even get close and we do go on for quite a while sometimes...he says he still enjoys it but i want him to enjoy it that much more.

what can we do/try? we have done many posistions, tried different types of comdoms and nothing makes much difference. i can make he cum by other ways, but sex just doesn't seem to get it....

help!

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Does he think it's a problem? And are there any other reasons that would prevent him from coming e.g. medication, health problems etc..
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe hes stressed or worried about something.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no, he doesn't think its a serious problem, but its becoming a bit of a wedge between us. but if i do anything else to him he can cum, and he can make himself cum easily. but i can't....during sex
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    __tink wrote:
    Maybe hes stressed or worried about something.
    hes a very relaxed person....and this has been going on since the beginning of our relationship...but hes asked me too add that he thinks i'm extremely sex (i think he needs glasses) but he doesn't have problems getting a hard on either...its odd
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    darkshines wrote:
    no, he doesn't think its a serious problem, but its becoming a bit of a wedge between us. but if i do anything else to him he can cum, and he can make himself cum easily. but i can't....during sex
    Have you tried without the condoms?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    not really, he's too worried about getting me up the duff even though i'm on the pill...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    darkshines wrote:
    not really, he's too worried about getting me up the duff even though i'm on the pill...

    I suspect worry may be the root of the probelm :yes:
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Replicant wrote:
    I suspect worry may be the root of the probelm :yes:
    :yes:

    That and the pressure you're putting on him to come.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i was thinking that too, but he says that normally its just not the right sensation for him to be able to cum...

    i suppose i am putting him under some pressure, but he says he really doesn't care because he enjoys it anyway...maybe i'm being a little possesive about it...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stuff than can do the trick... he can try holding his respiration or if you are into bdsm you can do suffocation (really carefully tho!)... otherwise as it has been said on this forum before, he can lie down on his back in bed with his head out of the mattres, so it is down... you on top is suggested here or you giving him a head... there will be more pressure due to the amount of blood in his brain increasing and more chance for him to cum... it is not a guarantee but it can do the job... also did you ever asked him if he had any fetish... not saying it's that but maybe he has some fetishes, like leather clothes, vinyl or others... and he might need them to get the exitement he needs to be able to finish...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The condom could be making the difference to his sensation.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has he never cum through sex, even with other people?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    secondsophie wrote:
    Has he never cum through sex, even with other people?

    good question...

    As well did he ever manage to come by masturbating?

    does he use any kind of drugs?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am a guy and I have the same type of "problem." Well not really a problem actually.

    Well i am going to be honest with you why this happens.

    1- He can't really feel the heat + sensation to really enjoy it. because he's wearing a condom.

    2 - He masturbates wayyyy too much on his own to really get use to normal sex.

    3 - It's all in his head. Maybe the things that he usually masturbated to is wayyy more extreme to what he gets from you.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lilith flynn wrote: »
    I am a guy and I have the same type of "problem." Well not really a problem actually.

    Well i am going to be honest with you why this happens.

    1- He can't really feel the heat + sensation to really enjoy it. because he's wearing a condom.

    2 - He masturbates wayyyy too much on his own to really get use to normal sex.

    3 - It's all in his head. Maybe the things that he usually masturbated to is wayyy more extreme to what he gets from you.

    You have raised a post from the dead. 2006?!!!!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its the condom and the subconscience fear of getting you pregnant. (mostlikey.)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Teagan wrote: »
    You have raised a post from the dead. 2006?!!!!

    I repeat .. 2006 .... !
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Do some Keygel exercises.. their the muscle tightning exercises... this may help tighten your area so that he can get a better stimulation. Team that up with something spontaneous and sexy.. like maybe new lingerie and talking dirty or using some kind of sex toy on yourself.. tease him don't let him touch you let him get really horny and then have sex..

    it's all about anticipation... sometimes guys find routines repatitive and often get numbed by it.. not to say he doesn't enjoy it its just he doesn't re-act in the same way...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have the exact same problem
    I have managed to come 2 or 3 times since we started july last year but thats all
    If its true that its because of masturbating too much then i guess im gna have to stop comletely
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    darkshines wrote: »
    not really, he's too worried about getting me up the duff even though i'm on the pill...

    Bingo thats the source of the probelm i reckon.
    Assure him your on pill +try it without condom see if that works.
    If it does you know what the probelm was.:yes:
    Ohyeah teagan god why didnt look at the date i just saw people had recently posted in it +added my opinion .
Sign In or Register to comment.