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Brooding Boyfriend
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
so my boyfriend of 1 year did some research this past summer, which he presented yesterday at "research day" at our school. He was in competition with 4 other people for a prize to present in another country. Anyway, he worked really hard for a long time on his presentation, and i helped him by watching him practice about 4 times, giving him tips and helping him pick out what he was going to wear on the day. so yesterday he presented at 9 am, and i got my ass out of bed to go see him present. i was the only person that was there to see him. afterwards, he kept saying that he thinks he has the competition in a bag and he definately won and that the other people's projects were boring. the awards ceromony was later on that day and i was there along with one other of his friends.
anyway, he didn't win 1st prize, he won second, and a 200 euro check. i could tell by the look on his face that he was pissed that he lost, especially since the winner's project didn't seem as great to him. after the ceromony was over, he came over to his friend and i and said abruptly "lets go". he turned and stormed out of the room, in the process steped on my foot, and disappeared into the hallway. my bag was behind a bench so i had to go get it and i thought he was waiting outside in the hallway. his friend and i looked for him, waited around, looked in the bathroom, and couldn't find him.
i didn't have my mobile with me, but when i got it about a half hour later, i texted him to see if he was ok. he didn't write back for a while, and then only just asked if i thought the person's who won was the best. i said i thought it was bland, and that i'm really proud of him and i think its awesome that he won the money. he never wrote back. i texted later on that night, because there was some vague plans to go out, and i just asked what he was up to. he never wrote back.
so anyway, i don't know how to handle it from here on in. frankly, i'm annoyed that he's acting like a brat and being rude to me even though i was there to support him when i have my own things to worry about too ( i am in the middle of my final exams). i do feel bad that he feels bad that he lost, but i think he's being a sore loser and needs to suck it up. what am i supposed to say to him now, or do? should i expect an apology for the way he acted yesterday or just let it slide since he is upset?
thanks
anyway, he didn't win 1st prize, he won second, and a 200 euro check. i could tell by the look on his face that he was pissed that he lost, especially since the winner's project didn't seem as great to him. after the ceromony was over, he came over to his friend and i and said abruptly "lets go". he turned and stormed out of the room, in the process steped on my foot, and disappeared into the hallway. my bag was behind a bench so i had to go get it and i thought he was waiting outside in the hallway. his friend and i looked for him, waited around, looked in the bathroom, and couldn't find him.
i didn't have my mobile with me, but when i got it about a half hour later, i texted him to see if he was ok. he didn't write back for a while, and then only just asked if i thought the person's who won was the best. i said i thought it was bland, and that i'm really proud of him and i think its awesome that he won the money. he never wrote back. i texted later on that night, because there was some vague plans to go out, and i just asked what he was up to. he never wrote back.
so anyway, i don't know how to handle it from here on in. frankly, i'm annoyed that he's acting like a brat and being rude to me even though i was there to support him when i have my own things to worry about too ( i am in the middle of my final exams). i do feel bad that he feels bad that he lost, but i think he's being a sore loser and needs to suck it up. what am i supposed to say to him now, or do? should i expect an apology for the way he acted yesterday or just let it slide since he is upset?
thanks
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Comments
The way he is behaving toward you is unfair, but to be expected.
You should just let him be for now, don't keep hassling him but let him know you're there for him. So, for example, send him a text saying that you're going into town, is there anything you can get for him, or you free all night, so if he wants to call you for a chat then you're there.
Give it a while and he'll get over it, and probably come to you and apologise for how he behaved. Just don't push him or have a go at him while he's in this mood, it'll only make things worse.
If he doesn't apologise, mention how it made you feel bad, but when he's over it and oyu can talk about it without the whole disappointment still hanging over him.
Oh, I just thought i'd add that it appears it isn't really anything to do with you, so don't worry too much!
It just sounds like he put a lot of work and passion into it and feels gutted.
Yes he probably is a bad loser, but y`know, some people, especially men can be very competitive.
He might need to talk about it and using text doesn't let pass feelings properly and is a bit in-personal imo...
I think you can ask for some apologies, being upset doesn't excuse acting like a cunt, from what you said you supported him all the way and well 2nd is not so bad at all specially with a bit of cash gained... Just leave him few days to calm down and if he is a sensible man he will come and give you some apologies...
tbh I dont agree at all... I think he is being a child...
Yeah, he has every right to be
Thats still no excuse to turn into a spoilt brat and take it out on the people that helped and supported you along the way.
yeah, i don't know. i agree with you guys that i need to just let it be for now. i'm not going to bother texting or calling anymore. i've already called once and texted 3 times. me hounding him isn't going to make it any better. :banghead:
the only thing now is that i have a feeling that he probably went out with his friends last night to get drunk or something, because i know they had plans to go out. i don't know if they did, but i would be pretty upset if he did that and ignored me after i was the one who was there for him the whole time. maybe i'm taking this whole thing to personally though.
i agree that he's acting like a baby. he's so damn competative. he couldn't even stand it the other day when i was joking on line in the supermarket that we were "racing" this girl in the other line. when she got to her cash register first, he couldn't stand that she won! he told me not to talk about it because he hates losing! and it was only a joke-y game i made up while bored on line!
Yer, or it can specially be a problem when he can't obviously stand to lose or being second... if he could handle it just fine then being competitive wouldn't be a problem...
how old is he?
Yeah fucking hell at 22 you think he would have a bit more of a clue...
so i started getting really upset saying "i was the only one who came to your thing and they couldn't even bother to go even though i have my final exams in 4 days and they are on spring break and you are mad at me just because i didn't act mad enough that you lost?!?!" at that point i got really upset and started crying, CRYING!!! in the library, and everyone was watching so i ran out into the bathroom and was sobbing for about 10 minutes, during which time he was trying to find me, and when i came out of the bathroom he said lets go for a walk. anyway, i calmed down a little bit but then i started up again. he wanted to hang out that night but i texted him later on saying that i am still too upset to han gout because he is being selfish and inconsiderate of my feelings even though my final exams are more important than his project. i haven't heard back from him since.
my roommate (who is a guy) and several of my friends think he takes me for granted and i should just dump him.
:yes:
He sounds like he is 22 going on 12...
He clearly isnt thinking about your feeling, which are over something far more important!
Boys will be boys!