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Crushing on a friend...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I've always had a thing for a good friend of mine, he's a sweet, caring and down to earth guy. But over the past month I have gained quite strong feelings for him. The only problem is that he has a partner, but I'm not quite sure whats happening with their relationship. He told me a few weeks ago that I'm amazing and that he'd love to be with me if he was single. Since that day we've had a lot of chemistry between us, physicaly and emotionly. He rarely sees his girlfriend, they don't seem to make much effort before and I'm pretty possitive they're having problems. He's a lovely person and would never be unfaithful to a girl so I'm respecting that for him and I don't wanna seem like I'm getting involved in their love life. The thing is, he keeps giving me all these hints. He keeps coming round for me (it's an hour walk from his), staring over and making effort to sit near me when we're in a big group.

I adore him, and would do anything to be with him. But what should I do? Do I talk to him about this, do I wait until him and his girlfriend eventually split up or what? Please help me, love Josie.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you don't wanna look like a bitch I would keep well clear until he has finished with his girlfriend. Maybe let him know how you feel and hand it over to him to make a decision. Maybe agree not to see him for a few days after telling him that you like him to let him think things through that way you can not be blamed for splitting them up
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    xunwanted_barbiex wrote:
    He told me a few weeks ago that I'm amazing and that he'd love to be with me if he was single. QUOTE]

    See, this is a sign.
    I would never say this to another woman while I was dating one.
    But not everyone is as suave as me. ;)

    Anyway, all is fair in love and war.
    If you can go on being his friend while he is still in a relationship without telling him than do it.
    Than wait a few hours and pounce!

    If you can't, then take him to one side and tell him how you feel, tell him, you don't expect anything and that he shouldn't feel under pressure, and reassure him that you are always going to be his friend.

    3rd choice. Get him drunk and take advantage of him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    migpilot wrote:
    3rd choice. Get him drunk and take advantage of him.
    I've thought about that one, but that make it awkward between us as friends. A few drinks gives me the confidence to talk to him and tell him how much I care about him, when I did so he replied with "I love you too Josie!", so this could be a way to tell him my feelings. Thanks lots for advice.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah just tell him how you feel and let him know that you would be up for giving it a try if his relationship doesn't work out. you don't really want to be the instigator of his breakup do you?

    however if you're such good friends already have you thought about the consequences if it doesn't work out? i can't stress enough that going out with a close friend is difficult because you think that because you're already friends its easier but that isn't always the case. and then if you break up it can have detrimental effects onto your friendship.

    SORRY IF I'M BEING NEGATIVE! but just tell him lol :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow, I'm in a pretty similar situation to you, except my friend doesn't have a girlfriend (score!!)... That's the major difference I think between telling a guy friend that you like him and telling a guy friend with a girlfriend that you like him. I think it's probably best to wait until they break up and then tell him how you feel, then you won't be blamed for breaking up their relationship (hopefully).
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I got into a relationship with my really close friend, he was liek the person i spoke to about everything and could/can trust with my life. Only problem is over a year down the line now im thinking that i dont really want to be in a relationship now, but i dont wana loose my best friend either :crying:

    infact i make make a post about this!!

    Moral is be careful, always risky when getting into a relationship with friends! But the best ones can come from it..x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you really like him and already got signs of him that he wants to be with you, the only thing you have to do is tell him, you love him too.

    He won't ditch his girlfriend if he ain't sure to get together with you.

    I'd be flattered if a female friend told me she had feelings for me. I'd go for it in an instant.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally think that relationships from friends xcan always work better because you already know most things about them so it saves the generaly start of the relationship..i just recently split up with my ex best mate coz she didnt want a relationship with me no more.
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