If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
lying about virginity
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've got a friend who i've been emailing for about 2 years or more from northern ireland. He's 20 or 21 i can never remember. Anyways, he told me he'd slept with 2 girls but hadn't had a gf for a few years. I told him about me losing my virginity the other night (he always seemed to like the idea of me being a sweet innocent virgin) and he went funny. I asked him why...it turns out that he has feelings for me and is actually a virgin himself" He lied because he thought i'd think he was a loser. My bf is 20 in june and lost his virginity to me last month and i thought it was really sweet that he'd waited. I'm a bit miffed he thought i was shallow enough to judge him on being a virgin. Why is it so uncool for guys to be virgins? But its ok for girls?
0
Comments
From a man's point of view, he thinks "well, if I tell her I'm a virgin, she's going to think I'm some sort of backward freak who can't pull the girls". I was worried sick that my first girlfriend would think that, but I told her I was a virgin none the less. The reaction surprised me. Far from being put off, she actually found it a massive turn-on.
I guess sex has always had to be taken a little more seriously by girls - what with the chance of getting preggers.. and girls tend to carry this image of needing to be looked after.. they have a 'reason' to take things more slowly?
When you're older there's the idea that girls like a guy with a bit of experience and guys like a girl who's a bit inexperienced, so both sexes sometimes exaggerate the number of people they've slept with (in either direction).
Ilora x
I dont understand his reaction. Is he trying to guilt trip you because you slept with your boyfriend?
Why brag about shagging someone else to someone who you damn well know fancies you? Talk about rubbing his face in it, its small wonder he went "funny".
I would not have had sex had i not been in love with my girlfriend, and when we had issues, i did regret having sex with her.
Let's not make generalizations here
I actually understand what the guy is going through. When i first met my girlfriend, I acted up like this guy who knew how to please the ladies
Don't look into this to much though, I'm sure he had the best of intentions, he's just a bit insecure about this.
It must be hard for men too, not so much on the sleeping around because I guess a lot of people expect that, but the virgin thing... It doesn't bother me at all... The most shit a guy would get is from his peers.
A few years ago somebody would not date me because I was a virgin, he led me on but wouldn't do anything about it. It hurt a lot because I felt like such a freak.
Really?
A lot of men I know quite like the idea of conquering uncharted territory.
Yep same here...
Im not that bothered who I could lose it too,but I have to have decent banter and piss taking back and forth from her or else Id be bored just talking to her no matter how good-looking she could be.Connection and fun y`know?But,Id prefer a girl to be as inexperienced as me so we`d both be new and useless at it and I wouldnt worry about being slagged off for being rubbish. :thumb: Well,Id hope that wouldnt happen...........but some Luton girls. :rolleyes:
A lot of women wouldn't go out with male virgins either. If someone doesn't want to have sex and and the other does then it's a mis-match, regardless of which gender is the virgin.
There is no consensus amongst men on whether women should or shouldn't sleep around. The most sought after girls tend to be fairly promiscuous so there clearly isn't any male bias against girls who are open to sex. It's mostly other girls who find it problematic and who do the bitching about so-and-so being a slut or so-and-so being a prude.
It's women who need to sort their own house out on this one.
More likely that he realised it would be a mis-match. Sex is integral to relationships - ask any marriage or relationship councillor. You can't reasonably criticise someone who is open to sex for preferring to see people who are likewise.
Same here.
I'm a virgin, never been out with anyone or done anything like that and I get teased about it alot. (Mainly because the person who has teased me about this seems to sleep with anyone :rolleyes: )
If i thought someone was quite attractive, was getting to know them and found out they were a virgin, i'd drop interest because they're on a different wavelength with different values rather than speculations on how good the sex would (or rather, might) be.
Some guys find the idea of virginity enticing, some find it a put off. Whatever people's feeling on the matter, they really shouldn't be criticised.
Edit: Oh and I agree with you about the women being bitches thing.