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Liking a friend?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
I'm sure everyone's had an experience similar to this before. I am hopelessly falling for one of my closest friends(opposite sex of course). We're so perfect for each other that it's almost scary! I am not sure if he likes me or not, but he always calls me 'Bonnie' to his 'Clyde' as he is obsessed with dying in a hail of bullets this week... Don't ask! So... my question to all of you is, have you ever been in a position like this and how did you deal with it? If you're STILL in a position like this, lets form a support group! We get jackets and pogs.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A friend fell for me. He was obsessive, and I hated it. He would not take no for an answer, and always thought that if I broke up with my boyfriend I'd go running to him. He has since been expelled so I never see him or talk to him, but I assume he's found somebody else to obsess over.

    I don't think most people would be obsessive though, it's just a case of if the feelings aren't returned and you tell him, what it might do to the friendship.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or, if you let it fester it could be worse. I've been in the situation twice, I told the person when our friendship was based on mutual respect and sounds kinda like yours with this guy. It didn't go anywhere but nor did it ruin things. The other time, it was someone who is quite homophobic and definitely not remotely interested. I didn't tell her, it blew over, and we're fine too.

    So I guess what I'm saying is that there's no right answer, it can work either way, trust your instinct and if he says no then you will adjust. Promise. In fact, it's almost easier once you have a definite answer.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You may find these helpful:
    best friend

    falling for a friend

    I had a best friend who became scarily possessive...I made it worse by sleeping with him, and in the end our friendship became well n truly fucked. Now I don't speak to him/don't talk on nights out etc. A shame, but it's all part of life experiences.

    Do I still get some pogs? :flirt:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's happened to me in the past and it sucks.

    IMO, if you aren't 100% sure about how this guy feels don't say anything to him about your feelings until you are :yes:

    Just try flirting with him some more and see how he responds.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Gaz_182 wrote:
    I'm sure everyone's had an experience similar to this before. I am hopelessly falling for one of my closest friends(opposite sex of course). We're so perfect for each other that it's almost scary! I am not sure if he likes me or not, but he always calls me 'Bonnie' to his 'Clyde' as he is obsessed with dying in a hail of bullets this week... Don't ask! So... my question to all of you is, have you ever been in a position like this and how did you deal with it? If you're STILL in a position like this, lets form a support group! We get jackets and pogs.

    I recently had sex with one of my best friends. She lives far away and we kinda feel for each other. But 1200km between one working lady and one studying guy (me) is probably not gonna work.


    I don't see a prob in your situation: you fall for him, he likes you.
    Go for it. you'd be dumb if not, because those are the very best relationships. you will still be able to talk so very open, so many conflicts will be avoided, and problems usually quickly expunged. You both feel very comfortable in each others vicinity so you can combine this "hanging out" you did before and add the holding hands/kiss/sex.

    Best to happen to you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All Id say is be carefull. I was in similar situation with best mate, we were very close, then decided to go out with each other and it really didnt work out. He decided that he didnt like me that way and we split. We didnt speak for about 2 months, although now its kind of back to normal, but its taken about a year. Dating friends is bad unless ur sure itll work.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    someone.unique wrote:
    All Id say is be carefull. I was in similar situation with best mate, we were very close, then decided to go out with each other and it really didnt work out. He decided that he didnt like me that way and we split. We didnt speak for about 2 months, although now its kind of back to normal, but its taken about a year. Dating friends is bad unless ur sure itll work.

    But the best relationships can be the ones that start from friendship IMO.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it can work either way. I was in a similar situation a few years ago (and I tend to try really hard not to get into them now) where I fell head-over-heels for a guy I worked with and was Great mates with. It worked out ok in the end, but I told him how I felt and he didn't feel the same and I tried hard to igmore it and we got on as normal. Nights out occurred, shall we say, and then it got a bit messy, and he didn't know whether he liked me back or not after that and then I moved away for uni. Turns out he decided he did like me (always too late!) and nothing ever came of it. We are still very close mates even though we live hundreds of miles from each other and still talk about the "what if's" so it can still come good even if you don't end up dating.
    It can get very confusing when you're in the middle of it. Just be careful but if you don't find out one way or the other you'll always wonder "what if...?". Just give yourself time to work out your approach and how you can recover from it if the answer is "no".

    Good luck :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From personal experience I think it can work but if you break up it's unimaginably painful! You want to talk to your best friends about it but the ex is ur best friend! That sums it up really! I'm currently together (I THINK) with my best friend and I really wish i had never gone into this. We had so much fun just as friends and we would do stuff couples do but just as friends. Now we are/were together its has completely messed things up as i think it has really changed the way i look at her. My advice is only do it if you are really sure about your feelings!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kate_342436 wrote:
    A friend fell for me. He was obsessive, and I hated it.

    I know two people like this. They both fancied me, but wouldn't leave me alone even when I made it clear that I wasn't interested in either of them. Then one of them asked me for sex. :rolleyes:
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