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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
(sorry blah for reversing your topic ;) )

just wondering if this can be done, i was with my bloke (ex now) for 4 years, lived together etc. just wondering if its possible for us to just start being friends after being together for so long. how do you go about it or is it just going to make the break up even harder?

never thought we'd be in this situation :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it will make the breakup harder.
    Its that halfway house between dumping someone but cant quite bring yourself to have them out of your life.
    Like putting stuff in the shed or the attic when really it should go to the bin or charity shop.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know you're right but i dont really want him out of my life totally, we split up because we want different things in the future not because we dont love each other or we're not getting on or anything.

    its just so hard to not have him around atm :( which i suppose probably adds to your theory that seeing him will just make it harder. dont know if im that self diciplined though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    SuzyCreamcheese wrote:
    Like putting stuff in the shed or the attic when really it should go to the bin or charity shop.

    Nice analogy, I like it. :thumb:

    .. and I agree totally, you need at least some time without him in your life or you'll just stop one another from moving on. Until you've both moved on, I don't see how you can really have a genuine friendship... which isn't to say that you can't one day. I feel for you, you seem really cut up and I wish I could say something more cheering, I don't want to say that you'll get through it in time because it's a cliche - but it's true.

    Chin up, hon. :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for the advice both of you, i know you are right. i think i'll just take a step at a time and see what feels right. maybe a bit of time apart is called for to get used to each other not being there.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    why dont you just say " i hope we can be friends at some point in the future" but you do need to take a break for now. If you cant take a break, are you sure you want to finish it?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont have a choice tbh, we want different things and if we stay together now it will only lead to unhappiness for us both in the future. i know that but its just hard to think of the future when im hurting just now.

    if only i could see in to the future and know that everything will be ok!
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