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Being set up...again

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey

I just wanted to run something by you guys.

I have been stood up a few times by different girls. Sometimes I don't here from them again after it happens. Others, I have heard from them. Quite a few excuses actually.

One girl said he sister had been murdere dby her bf. Horrific and shocking I know. I couldnt find any trace of that having happend in any news source and later on she seemdd to stumble a bit on the story. Made me suspecious.

Another girl. WHo I was talking to for a fair while. She always stood me up. We'd arrange to meet, she wouldnt show, ask her why and she had an excuse. Her brothers wife was having an affair with anothe rbrother and family kicking off, she broke down, she collapsed, she had cancer...A number of excuses that turned out to be bogus.


So now, while you know I am open to finding love, I do get suspecious.

I have been talking to this girl on another site for ahwile. Not going crazy, one mesage a day only in reply to hers you know. Didn't push for the number swap, only did it when she suggested it.

So this week she says her new phone is playing up and it needs to be posted back to wherever and her computer will be offline for a bit. So ok. I still txt her this weekend, just one in case her phone was back, I alkso accidently hit the ring button and the phone rang.

I recieved a txt from her last night saying;

"Hey u sorry u've not bin able 2reach me. my aunt is in hospital. her husband found dead next 2 her. all abit of a mystery n shes unable to speak. so as you imagine ive hardly bin about .....stil wud like to meet let me know whens good for you..."


Now is it me or does that sound suspecious?????

Am I being set up again?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    just wait and see.
    It would do more harm if she was telling the truth and you didnt believe her. I dont blame you for feeling suspicious, but give each new person the benefit of the doubt, because its so easy to become distrustful and thats not a nice way to live.
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    BunnieBunnie Posts: 6,099 Master Poster
    well she is saying she still wants to meet you, if she didnt want anything surely she would just say about her etc, and be in touch or something. give her a bit of space, but you should suggest a date so its on your grounds. my fingers are crossed so tightly for you!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Women on average like to make up wild excuses you wouldn't possibly believe if a bloke told you or saw it on TV. You know, the sort of thing that if you read in a book you'd think "yeah, right" and chuck it in the bin.

    "I can't come and see you tonight I have to take my gerbil to the moon" and so forth. Perhaps it's to see if you will put up with shit, perhaps it's a test of character, perhaps it's part of the whole female being unable to say what she wants without first hinting at it, setting up situations for it, letting you over hear conversations about it etc.

    Maybe she met someone else, maybe she wants to let you down gently by wasting hours of your life and your phone money. Maybe she wants a "spare" boyfriend.

    Who gives a shit. Just tell her you don't like being dicked about and she can either come over right now and make it up to you, or do it later.

    When you don't know what's going on or what to do, just focus on what you want and go for that.

    Some things stand out for me -
    She always stood me up.

    She does it once, ask what the excuse was, if it sounds plausible, go with it, if not drop her on the spot. Have some value for yourself, ffs. Your time is valuable your not going to get it back.

    You are being a doormat mate. If you don't value yourself, no one else is going to either.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    God, what's wrong with the old classics like, "I'm not looking for anything too serious" or "It's not you it's me"?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    give her the benefit of the doubt. if she didn't want to see you then she wouldn't have txt saying she did!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go with the flow mate. she did txt back asking to meet you still, go for it, you never know this time it might be different.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree, but don't pin all your hopes on her. Don't turn down another girl, for example, just because there's a chance that this one might like you, because she might be stringing you along.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I wouldn't bother. If she's serious, when the family trouble has blown over she'll contact you. If I stand someone up and thye keep txting/phoning after I've blown them off or given them a really lame excuse, I take it that they're lame and desperate.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah I guess so.

    But what you guys say about if she doesnt want to see you you, she wouldnt txt you saying she would? Well not last week but week before, I wa stalking to another girl and we arranged ot meet up and she stood me up. After many txtx saying how she wants to see me an dis looking forard to it, even txts on the day itself about it and she still stood me up and no word afterwards.

    now these 2 girls didnt know about each other so its not that.

    And the one that always stood me up is long gone and I did in the end say I dont care whats happening, see me now or lose me but only after a lot of wasted money on phone bills.


    I am trying ot be a good guy. I don't want to be suspecious and untrusting and mean and nasty but I don't want to be a doormat either.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wow uve been thru alot it seems to me shes gonna stitch u up. hugs n kisses xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    \
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    klintock wrote:
    "I can't come and see you tonight I have to take my gerbil to the moon" and so forth.

    :lol::lol:

    ETA: why is this thread back from february? only just noticed or i would've left it to die a second death.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Someone dug it up yesterday so they could give out their email address to the whole of google. Cue spam overload in her inbox :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Damn, just giving out your email on the internet, I had a hard time giving mine out to my own mother.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Someone dug it up yesterday so they could give out their email address to the whole of google. Cue spam overload in her inbox :D
    i fink ull find it wld b my neice dats gives out my addy to ppl she dnt kno wen she gets on my p.c she goes on here n logs on as me n gives out my addy n her number so do 1 scruffy!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i fink ull find it wld b my neice dats gives out my addy to ppl she dnt kno wen she gets on my p.c she goes on here n logs on as me n gives out my addy n her number so do 1 scruffy!!!

    sorry didnt catch that. do..you..speak..english?
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