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Question for the girls

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Hi Girls. I need advice. I am trying to get inside my partners head but its hard becuase I am a bloke so girls, tell me what is going on.

OK so I pissed off my partner. I said some very bad things to her because she had a male friend and I was jealous of him. I never told her that at the time. She was playing upto him and I found it hard to deal with. If the tables were turned, I would get an whole new asshole. She loves me but hates me at the same time!! I dont understand this. She looks after me (takes me out and buys me clothes) but forgets to buy some breakfast stuff for me. She has taken her eturnity ring off but keeps the wedding band on. We have discussed splitting and I think we may. Problem is she cannot support herself as she cannot earn enough. So she may be frustrated that she cannot get away from me.

I am sticking by her and I have told her that I will stay as long as needed to get back on her feet. She does not believe me. She thinks I am going to be chasing skirt as soon as she goes away on holiday with her male friend. Yes that right. I was going but I have been told I cannot.

If I say a thing like "I would like to go away on my own" She will have a massive row with me and accuse me of all kinds of stuff. Some very nasty things (she used to be a sweet girl). But afterwards she is nice to me.

I just dont understand this behavour. Can someone explain it??

SDA.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I have to say that she is being very unfair on you. Why should she think it ok to go away on holiday with another guy when you're not even allowed to go away by yourself? That is very selfish in my opinion. Have you told her how you feel about her going away with this other guy? I think that maybe you have to sit down and have a chat about where your relationship is going, if it is going anywhere. Find out how she feels about you and about him, see why she is unhappy etc and go from there.

    I hate to see a marriage break down (my parents are divorced, my mum and stepdad have almost split up several times, and my uncle and aunty are divorced), but I think that you are being treated unfairly and I would be suspicious of them if you are not allowed to go with them. It does sound as though she is using you for financial support and stability whilst going off with another guy (which is what I think my mum is doing to my stepdad without him realising).

    Maybe she si just unhappy about something in your relationship and is just trying to get your attention. By taking her eternity ring off but leaving her wedding ring on, it seems as though she still wants to be married but is trying to tell you that something needs to change in order for it to last. The best thing to do is to talk to her about it.

    I hope it turns out for the best for you
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would definetely have a talk with her about why she won't go on holiday with you but she can go with another bloke. I think you have every right to feel how you do. If i was you, i would sit down and tell her everything you've just told us, about how you feel. if she really loves you, she will understand. Good Luck x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would be EXTREMELY pissed off if my partner/husband went off with a female friend and told me i couldnt go - Thats a chuckable offence if ever i heard one.

    It sounds like your marriage is in trouble and you need to talk. I dont think youre giving very much of the story though. You say you were jealous -what did you do?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    rainbow brite wrote:
    I would be EXTREMELY pissed off if my partner/husband went off with a female friend and told me i couldnt go - Thats a chuckable offence if ever i heard one.

    Exactly. Id be HUGELY annoyed, not to metion very upset about it.

    You should deffo talk to her. Probably the only way you're gonna sort it out. Even if that does mean you splitting up. If it DOES come to that then maybe its for the best- its better to be happy in a relationship than be upset/annoyed/jealous. etc.

    Hopefully everything will work out fine for you though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Why don't you take some holiday without her and with a female friend of yours and see how she like it... After all if she is going anyway, there is no reason why you shouldn't do the same... If it doesn't bother her if you do so...
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