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Dont know what to do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Had a 'talk' with the family and it ended in tears; they want me to get a job (ive been off school/work [been doing part time in a supermarket, and i hate it]) but i have no idea what to do.
They tell i should me a plasterer; computer geek but it dont intrest me and they say i must get a job within a month.
I have no friends, no father in my life (bar 2 weeks a year) a girl i like but she dont know how i feel about her, and im really fat. I dont even take drugs/drink.

I feel like if i killled my self no-one would care

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It sounds like your really unhappy. When I was in a similar situation, I thought it just couldn't get better. Everyone I spoke to online or what I read in books made a point to say that depression is like tunnel vision, that when (not if) you feel happier, you will realise how such silly things almost ruined your life.

    I think its safe to say that you need to either tell your family your very unhappy and need their help to change things. An ultimatum from their point of view may help you, but you probably know its not the right thing.

    If you cant speak to your family, maybe visit your GP.

    If you want to, pm me, we can chat if you like.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can assure you people would definately care, thats why your parents are asking you to get a job because they care about what happens to you.

    You say the jobs they suggested don't interest you, is there anything that you do have a particular interest in as a career because maybe you could get yourself on a course or volunteering scheme where you could pursue it.

    As for the girl, let her be your motivation.

    I also agree to going to see your GP. Good luck and pm me if you wanna talk about anything at all. There are loads of friendly and helpful people on these boards too. :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Of course people would care if you killed yourself, it certainly doesn't resolve anything and you have much to see, do and achieve in your life.

    Is there a careers advisor you can see near where you live? They are pretty useful, as they listen to what you like and don't like, what you're good at etc and find a job that fits you. Otherwise, you could just go down to the job shop and see if anythign takes your fancy. How about getting a part time job to keep your family happy for the time being but maybe doing a course at college to then get a qualification in something that interests you to lead to a job afterwards?

    With regards to this girl, why don't you tell her how you feel? Do you think she might feel the same?

    If you are worried about your weight, maybe you could change eating habits and exercising more, it doesn't have to be much, start off gently and gradually it will get easier and more enjoyable.

    Hope you get something sorted. Take care
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Life is what you make of it. Nobody likes work but its one of those things that everyone has to just suck up and do.Your parents are getting on at you because working part time in a supermarket it hardly a good career move is it.
    I'm guessing you're still quite young if you still live with your folks so why not learn a trade? ok so plasterer and 'computer geek' dont interest you, well what does!?
    joshmeister wrote:
    im really fat. I dont even take drugs/drink.
    Then do something about it! eat healthier, exercise more. common sence really.
    You want friends? go out and make them!
    You want the girl? make some friends then ask her to tag along one night and make your move then.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My boyfriend used to be over 14 stone but now hes 5 pounds away from being 'normal' for his height. It can be done. All he started out doing was simply cutting out the junk food in his diet- then gradually eating healthier. And at last, started to go running and other exercises. Once you lose a couple of pounds, it eggs you on to lose a couple more cause you're confidence is really up. Try it :yes: (OH and only drinking water helped)

    As for the girl, tell her. Whats to lose? At least you'll know for sure if anything is going to come of it. I mean even if she doesnt feel the same it won't matter cause someone IS out there for you. Theres someone for everyone. :)
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    Hi Joshmeister,
    I'm sorry to hear about how unhappy you are at the moment - but although at the moment it may feel like there is no way out- you actually identify the reasons for why you are feeling depressed and this means there's a chance for you to start to look into ways of moving forward.

    TheSite has some articles which might help you focus on the things you would like to change.

    Here's an article on job openings which might identify some places to look for jobs that you haven't considered. This article on getting a new job, might also help you to think about what direction you would like to take.

    askTheSite is an anonymous service where users submit questions to professionals on a range of different topics - including health. You might be interested to read this Question & Answer on diet or maybe you would even like to submit your own question.

    Finally, if you feel that you would benefit from talking to someone in confidence about how you're feeling then you could call Supportline on 0208 554 9004.

    All the best :)
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