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In need of perspective

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
lol edit

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alistairlp wrote:
    Yesterday, I told her that I fancied her, its not as though I went out of my way to, it just happened. In response she said that I was a very 'complex' person, someone she hasn't quite 'got'.

    IMO it's a nice way to reject you...

    But then again it aint a sure thing, but sounds like it to me...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol edit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alistairlp wrote:
    Yeh, guess so.

    Bugger, and thanks.

    Yeah, sorry mate, but in my experience when a girl feeds you some bullshit lines about your personality or character or something it's usually the nice way of giving you the brush off.....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nihilisticmadman wrote:
    IMO it's a nice way to reject you...

    But then again it aint a sure thing, but sounds like it to me...

    I disagree although I think it depends on the tone which it was said.

    I have actually said this line before and it was because the guy was a really interesting person and quite 'different' I really liked the fact that I couldn't work him out and wanted him to know that I was interested in finding out more about him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    remotebleeper wrote:
    I disagree although I think it depends on the tone which it was said.

    I have actually said this line before and it was because the guy was a really interesting person and quite 'different' I really liked the fact that I couldn't work him out and wanted him to know that I was interested in finding out more about him.

    Did you went out with him at the end?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol edit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nihilisticmadman wrote:
    Did you went out with him at the end?

    Yes for about a month, then I finally "worked him out"....he was a wanker :razz:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alistairlp wrote:
    OK, I can understand this perspective. But how do i got about exploring which 'tone' she meant it in?

    Well, did she say it with pity in her voice or excitement?

    To be honest though if you've already agreed to be friends for the time being then thats what you gotta do, if you bring it up again too soon you might totally put her off. A bit of flirting wouldn't go a miss though.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol edit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    alistairlp wrote:
    Alright then, I just keep at it, as it is, cheers.

    I just wasn't sure because her friends have told me contradictory things to what she's been saying, otherwise I would have taken it as a write-off.

    Yeah I know what you mean but like I said, flirting is always fun. :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol edit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She might be enjoying the attention but not what to commit. In my experience Ive learned that sometimes if its not working with a girl then you need to cut your losses. Far too many will say things that never are 'i like you' or 'i want you', but so suggestive, so you're chasing them forever, and they get off the attention. They get a guy all over them all the time, massive ego boost.

    But thats my experience. If it was me in this situation, when she said she needed more time I would have cooled things off and just been friends and not flirted so much anymore. However, you never know with these things :)

    On the one hand, if shes worth it then its not an issue to wait. On the other, if its meant to be and you've got chemistry then why the big hold up? I'm not one to be bold and move quickly, but if guy likes girl and girl likes guy back then pretending otherwise is just wasting time, and you might die tomorrow, and then it would suck. Cuddles are too precious to be wasted!

    Just some food for thought though. Don't let her mess you around ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol edit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Look mate, I mean this in the nicest way possible...

    Life is too short.
    Women want a man who is confident and doesn't second guess.
    So, next time you see her, make the move, get her off guard, kiss her and see where it goes.
    If you get blown off, than at least you know where you stand and you can move on.
    Pleanty of other women around.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Telling people things over MSN is normally a bad move, and that's the problem really. She can't figure out what you mean because she can't see you, and most communication is not vocal. It's also a bit of a bombshell in a text messaging browser because you can't see the person tensing up and being shy for the big admission.

    In person she seems to be getting a better idea about what's going on. You really need to be dealing with this in person now.

    I wouldn't force the issue if you've said it once, I would wait a bit, but if she's still seeing you and seems interested then I wouldn't write it off yet.

    I would invite her out for a drink or a meal, but nothing too formal, and see where it goes. You will probably need to bite the bullet and make a move on her, a lot of girls need that to see that you mean business.
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