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very very confused
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi all im looking for some serious advice as my life in such a state.
ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years now,we are like 2 peas in a pod, very very close, she is my soulmate, i even moved in with her while she was staying her student halls at university as she didnt like being alone.
now we both live back at home, and have done since june 2005. things are still great well they were, and fast forward to valentines day 2006 and we went out for dinner and gave each other gifts and cards as you do, she even wrote in my card that i was the greatest boyfriend ever, but now only 4 weeks since then she is like a completely different person, she asked for time out from our relationship and as much as i didnt like it i agreed as i felt id push her away if i didnt.during this time she told me that her feelings towards me had changed and that she only sees me a friend
since then we have still been in constant contact going to live gigs, the cinema, going for drinks and shes even coming to mine on friday as im cooking for her, all these signs dont show to me that she just wants friendship?
and how can a friendship work when my feelings are more than that?
i have no idea what to do.
neongenesei.
ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years now,we are like 2 peas in a pod, very very close, she is my soulmate, i even moved in with her while she was staying her student halls at university as she didnt like being alone.
now we both live back at home, and have done since june 2005. things are still great well they were, and fast forward to valentines day 2006 and we went out for dinner and gave each other gifts and cards as you do, she even wrote in my card that i was the greatest boyfriend ever, but now only 4 weeks since then she is like a completely different person, she asked for time out from our relationship and as much as i didnt like it i agreed as i felt id push her away if i didnt.during this time she told me that her feelings towards me had changed and that she only sees me a friend
since then we have still been in constant contact going to live gigs, the cinema, going for drinks and shes even coming to mine on friday as im cooking for her, all these signs dont show to me that she just wants friendship?
and how can a friendship work when my feelings are more than that?
i have no idea what to do.
neongenesei.
0
Comments
I'm sorry, but if her feelings have indeed changed, there really isn't anything you can do about it. I'm afraid all you can do is wait for her to sort herself out. You should be clear though that you won't wait around forever, she should be at least aware of the pain she's putting you through while she's making up her mind.
And about being friends... are you sure you would still want to? Personally, I think being friends with the person you love is absolute torture. At first you think 'it's better than nothing', but it really isn't. At least if it's nothing then you can move on to find another person you love and who loves you back.
It's a really painful position you are in, but if I were you I wouldn't be up for just being friends. If this a person you've had a two-year relationship with then it's all or nothing. It can be harsh at first but trust me, in the long run it's better.
Hope everything works out for the best though. Good luck.
In the majority of cases it can't.
My advice would be to make a clean break and not see her again, for a while at least. Sometimes people can go back to being friends with their ex, but it can takes years of being apart.
Who knows why her feelings change, you'll probably never know the truth, the best thing is to just forget about it and move on, and unfoirtunately this means not seeing her.
As a guess to her feelings, I can only say that she is confused about how she feels, maybe she want's you but doesn't love you (hence still seeing you so often) or maybe she just doesn't want to be with you but can't bring herself to say goodbye. Either way, distance may help her sort out her head as well as help you.