If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Penis Requests
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following >reasons:
1. I do physical labour.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
_____________________
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. 4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Got this in a email this morning an made me smile, Sorry if this has been done before.
1. I do physical labour.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge head first into everything I do
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark area that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to diseases.
_____________________
Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the management denies your request for the following reasons:
1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. 4. You do not stay in your designated area, and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and
stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You will retire before you are 65.
9. You are unable to work double shifts.
10. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task.
11. And if that were not all, you have constantly been seen entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
The Management
Got this in a email this morning an made me smile, Sorry if this has been done before.
0
Comments
Who else works in such shit conditions at times?
most excellent! what else could one expect from a fine and funny welsh woman!