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I guess I'm not too fat for him
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi all, thank you for your advice and replies.
I wrote a week or so ago about my low self-esteem about my body and about a guy who I like.
Well...still feel shitty about my body but I don't think thats gonna change in a hurry. I've spoken to him a few times over the phone and through texts and things are going great, he's told me how much he likes me. Just found out that he had a chat with my sister about me a few weeks ago too, she's now jealous because he's so lovely.
So I think I need to bite the bullet and take him out for a few drinks since I've turned him down so much he'll probably never ask me again, just gotta wait till he's back from his holiday.
I'm nervous!
I wrote a week or so ago about my low self-esteem about my body and about a guy who I like.
Well...still feel shitty about my body but I don't think thats gonna change in a hurry. I've spoken to him a few times over the phone and through texts and things are going great, he's told me how much he likes me. Just found out that he had a chat with my sister about me a few weeks ago too, she's now jealous because he's so lovely.
So I think I need to bite the bullet and take him out for a few drinks since I've turned him down so much he'll probably never ask me again, just gotta wait till he's back from his holiday.
I'm nervous!
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Comments
yeah i suggest you do ask him for a few drinks pretty pronto otherwise you may not have another chance!!
same thing happened with me a while back - guy liked me, asked me to go out for a few times but i was way too self concious etc to accept. by the time i got round to actually feeling better about myself and decided i WANTED to go out - it was too late!
so make the most of it while the attraction is still tere!
Why do you feel shitty about your body?
Do you have curves?
If you do you've got nothing to worry about believe me
Don't be shy to show them off either
Be proud of how you look.
I really don't understand why women worry about their weight most of the time or worry about their bum being too big. Don't get me wrong I'm not into some strange fetish. But I hate catwalk models, they do nothing for me.
I remember meeting one girl who had a lovely figure. I was talking to her about new years resolutions and she said about going on a diet!!! I wanted to tell her there was no need because she had a great figure. But I kept it to myself as it sounded pervy or too over familiar - I'd only been acquainted with her for a short while then. I really wanted to tell her though.
One tip for you: don't be too much of a push over for him. Be a little aloof but be cheerful, confident and happy. Be busy all the time. Guys love this, they find it intriguing. These are very attractive qualities on any woman I think. It'll make him want you more and chase you. Don't overdo it though, I don't mean you should play games. But if you want the fun to last, maybe perhaps into something a little more steady, than this might be a strategy. Desperation isn't attractive on anyone. Though I suspect you've no reason to be desperate
Already I think you have made him chase you in a round about way. Your shyness made you turn him down on lots of occasions, which he probably interpreted as you playing hard to get!
Just my 2 pence worth from a guy who knows what turns him on.
Yeah I'm quite curvy and I guess thats what I don't like, it just doesn't seem like i'm in proportion, my waist and shoulders are small but I have biggish boobs and big hips, bum, legs etc.
Anyway yeah its lovely to hear a guy talk like that, and I know you are right its just gonna take a while to get used to it. He calls me sexy but I just don't get why he thinks that because he is very athletic and I picture him being with a slimmer more athletic girl, I guess I don't really feel worthy or something.
Don't get me wrong I don't wander around looking depressed and sad all the time, actually I'm quite a good flirt when I don't think it'll lead anywhere, these issues are all kept secret so you're right he probably thinks I'm playing hard to get. x
and yes, ask him if he wants to go out somewhere sometime before he loses interest!
What you're saying makes sense but its hard to actually get it into my head. I know he likes me and I like him but I can't totally believe that he wont run a mile when he sees me naked.
Oooo is another thesite wedding on the cards you two!? x
Guys really love all that.
I gotta be careful that this doesn't come across as pervy. Nothing wrong with admiring a woman's body, we're all red blooded males!
Another tip: the girl I mentioned earlier had your attributes too. She also walked confidently with purpose and great posture - and this enhances what great features you have. She also wore figure hugging clothes like tight jeans to show off her figure. All in all it adds up to a woman who is a) very comfortable with how she looks b) isn't afraid to show it off and c) knows that men love her looks.
Pleasure :thumb:
:yes:
good god no.
me and sg don't get along very well but lately we haven't argued so he's like OMG lucy loves me.
haha yes okay.
Well you know theres a fine line between love and hate.
You learn to tune them out eventually.
Well done on the bloke stuff :thumb:
i haven't started an arguement anywhere!!! i didn't even realise one was taking place.
end of. can't be bothered with you when you're being a wally.
don't worry i'm not responding to it anymore, it's not worth it. :no:
Anyways, to topic - being self concious (sp?!) is something we all feel. I'm very aware of my body shape and always wonder what a partner or someone I like really thinks of me...but I've found that people embrace you for what they are when they are attracted to you, as it's not the only reason they are drawn to you - it's obviously not something that deters them from you either.
Hope it all goes well, enjoy
good to hear you're going to take him out. i let one slip past me once. he'd asked me out a few times and my self esteem was so low i refused cos i thought he was taking the piss...dont think he was but now we hardly speak. good luck! :thumb:
See now this hacks me off personally. If a girl is busy all time I find it irritating and pointless. Seriously whats point in being with someone who can't bother making any time for you?
Doomed to failure! If you insist on playing games like that be very careful I would say.
Spend as much time with him as you want, I'm sure there are plenty of guys that would rather be with girl they like than constantly being turned down.