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Yet another problem...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Yes, I have another problem with another girl I like...
This one's another girl from the med school, she's a third year, possibly the most popular girl in her year (always a bad thing...), she has a thing for rugby boys (also not a good thing) but there's another thing that's worrying me - she's Jewish...
No, i'm not anti-semitic or anything, it's just the cultural thing about Jews keeping it in the family - she's perfectly happy to go out with/sleep with non-Jews, but I know this girl quite well and I really like her - so on the offchance that something does happen and it works out really well - i'm forward-thinking too much on this one I know - is it really fair on either me or her to get into a situation where she has to choose between me or her family?
Before that of course, there's the issue of waiting for her to get over her ex-boyfriend, then get close enough to her to make a relationship a real possibility, actually ask her out and not make a fool of myself in the process by declaring my undying love for her whilst drunk etc...
This one's another girl from the med school, she's a third year, possibly the most popular girl in her year (always a bad thing...), she has a thing for rugby boys (also not a good thing) but there's another thing that's worrying me - she's Jewish...
No, i'm not anti-semitic or anything, it's just the cultural thing about Jews keeping it in the family - she's perfectly happy to go out with/sleep with non-Jews, but I know this girl quite well and I really like her - so on the offchance that something does happen and it works out really well - i'm forward-thinking too much on this one I know - is it really fair on either me or her to get into a situation where she has to choose between me or her family?
Before that of course, there's the issue of waiting for her to get over her ex-boyfriend, then get close enough to her to make a relationship a real possibility, actually ask her out and not make a fool of myself in the process by declaring my undying love for her whilst drunk etc...
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Comments
How on earth will we know what your Jewish girlfriend thinks?
It's 2006, not 2006 BC. I'm sure - if things DO go that far where you will get married and the like - her family will accept you because you treat her well and compliment her personality with yours, etc.
Anyways, if she's went out with other lads before you who weren't Jews, I'm sure her parents didn't get much of a say if she chose to be with them in the first place, and they didn't actively hire Jewish Ninjas to hunt them down in the dead of night.
I think you'll be okay. Just don't enforce anything because she'll be pretty raw with her bloke and her breaking up. She might end up going out with you only for a rebound and you'll come out worse than what she was with her original ex bloke.
Just be a friend just now and say the right things and mean them, too.
You don't even know what you'll be like as a couple and you're already letting this bother you? Neurotic comes to mind.
Well, most people convert to the religion. It's been done for years. Why can't you?
I dunno why but I have this belief we'd be a really great couple, hence I wanna think about this now rather than later.
Apparently it takes years to convert to Judaism - this is because most Jews are born, not made (it's passed down by the mother apparently).
But, you don't know whether she wants to be with you or not? Bit presumptuous. I'd go off my head if a guy thought that of me as soon as I'd broken up with a boyfriend.
Well, if that's what's made Jews become Jews generations before, I think that if her family can see that you are a good apple and you convert, then I can't see why they won't welcome you with open arms.
It's not about religion, it's about wanting what's best for your daughter and I think that if you prove your arse off that you can make her god damned happy then I can't see why religion would come into it.
If religion is cracked up what it's meant to be, then I reckon at judgement day you will be forgiven because your daughter's intended has a heart of gold despite knowing about mussletaff etc.
Someone suggested I should send her a bunch of white roses to 'cheer her up'... not sure if this is necessarily a good idea or not, could come across as a bit forward/odd?
Bunch of roses is too much, send her one white rose and a wee card saying "Thinking of you, hope you're ok!" or something similar.
That'll emphasise the friendly bit, but still you've gone the extra mile. Subtle, yet different to what her other mates would have done, therefore you'll stand out.
It's a start, really.
My thoughts exactly.
Advice from friend is to approach at end of term party whilst slightly drunk and tell her that what's happened to her has been really crap, and i've admired the way she's handled it, and I wish I could find someone like her - and make meaningful look...
Thoughts?
Sorry to drag me up but feeling down cos I haven't seen her in a while (she's a third year and has just finished Phase I exams, like 20% of finals...) and even though we've been chatting loads I just haven't seen her in ages and I miss her so much.
She's currently in Birmingham for the weekend with some friends - and then it's her birthday tomorrow and her present seems to have got delayed in the post so I don't know if it'll get here in time... I would see her next week but i'm on training camp until Wednesday and then at the weekend i'm going to Nottingham for BUSA regatta and she's going on hockey tour next week and i'm worried what she's gonna get up to and I just miss her so much and I want to hug her right now...
This is true. My mum married into a jewish family and decided she was going to convert to make things easier. She spent years trying and had to give up in the end coz it was made too hard for her. Me and my mum are both not fully excepted by my dads family as we are not jewish
Why? Does she even know how you feel yet? And stop obsessing over her...
If I were that girl reading this thread I'd be a bit worried.
Look... Just take it at a comfortable pace, quit thinking about whether it'll work, you never know until you try.