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Venting anger/violent feelings.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Sorry.. wasn't really sure where to post this.

I've just had a row with my boyfriend and I'm feeling REALLY angry right now. I just blew up in his face and had a crying tantrum on the school bus home (:no: how embarrassing), and the fact he didn't have much of a reaction, twisted my insides further. Now hes fucked off into town to go clubbing with his mates later, when all I wanna do is shout at him for 3 hours. He didn't do anything wrong in a malicious way, I just got fed up with his insensitivety. And hes being lying a lot to save his neck. Doesn't really help that I'm pre-menstrual either.

Trouble is, everytime I get upset, or angry, I get incredibly violent, destructive feelings towards the aggravator that I find really hard to control. I already almost smashed the porch windows in cause I couldn't find my key to get into the house 20 mins ago. Its like I want to destroy just about anything I can get my hands on, including his face, his belongings, our relationship. Thankfully, I stopped myself saying anything I'll really regret. Cause deep down I love him to bits, and I don't want to hurt his cute lil monkeyness. But on the otherside, I want to make him feel as shit as I feel, and realise how much what hes done has affected me.

How can I vent my anger?!

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what exactly did he do to piss you off? try councelling? even though it isn't for everyone. Take deep slow breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth...its supposed to get the oxygen in the right places so it slows your adrenilin down
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I get angry, I scream into pillows and punch them. It works...temporarily.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    oh you poor thing. high strength evening primrose oil with a vitamin B6 supplement is really good for PMT. Its no fun having all those hormones going mental but I find this REALLY helps.
    Also Agnus Castus is a supplement thats supposed to reduce PMS symptoms in 50% of women, but i havent tried that one myself. you can get it in Holland and Barrett though. Definitely try the evening primrose oil tho.

    You have to remember though that everything is gonna be a bit blown out of proportion at the moment, so its probably best to lie low and its proibably not the right time for an argument with your bf. Do you feel this badly towards him the rest of the month?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its been building up over the past month or so. I think he feels insecure in our relationship because hes been really quick to point out my faults, and make fun of me in front of my friends, recently. He knows I'm deeply insecure, but he still randomly told me last night who he thinks is the fittest girl in my year, apart from me. Turns out its his ex, who used to bully me, and I find massively intimidating on the looks/style scale. I shouted at him when he said it, but it still hasn't left my thoughts.

    Plus I'm going to a huge party tonight and he's not.. so he might be secretly worried about that. But hes going to a club I can't get into, so.. bah.

    I still wanna ring him up and tell him what a completely disgusting creature he is, for not dropping to his knees and begging for my forgiveness heh.

    I think I'll have a hot bath. Don't think I can do much damage in there :p.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    FilthyChav wrote:
    Now he's fucked off into town to go clubbing with his mates later, when all I wanna do is shout at him for 3 hours. He didn't do anything wrong in a malicious way, I just got fed up with his insensitivety. And hes being lying a lot to save his neck...
    Lying a lot? That should be ringing alarm bells in itself. If you can't be sure what he's saying is true, what hope does the relationship have?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stargalaxy wrote:
    Lying a lot? That should be ringing alarm bells in itself. If you can't be sure what he's saying is true, what hope does the relationship have?

    Its not as if hes lying about major things, like where hes been etc. Its just if he says something and it upsets me, he'll lie to patch things up, or shut me up. He also lies about his finances to me. I'd prefer him to be honest and talk things through with me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    FilthyChav wrote:
    Its not as if hes lying about major things, like where hes been etc. Its just if he says something and it upsets me, he'll lie to patch things up, or shut me up. He also lies about his finances to me.
    This sounds like a relationship in trouble. If you can't trust him over the little things, how can you trust him when it comes to something big like buying a house?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    problem with guys is that alot of them aren't good with handling emotional stuff...which is probably why he's so insensitive
    but i will say its not that good to be in a relationship like this if you have security issues
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think its probably best that he has gone to a party and you are, this will give you both a cooling off period and allow you to calm down and articulate what it is you want to say to him clearly without saying what you might regret. Do/eat your favorite thing in the world (possibly watch your fav movie and eat the most devilish chocolate :naughty: ) to take your mind off him and calm down. when and only when yor fully sure your ready to speak to him give him a call. :wave:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I rang him at about 12.30 last night when I got home, and he seemed a bit funny with me, which is understandable. I was still a bit drunk at the time, but I was pleasant with him - didn't say anything brash. He'll be popping round tonight to see me.
    He's a good lad really. The problem is, though it sounds like I should be glad of this, he cares too much about me being happy, rather than his own enjoyment, and that makes me feel guilty. Hes always doing things for me, and, like I said, he'll be dishonest if it means that I won't get upset. Its an underlying issue that we need to sort out.
    I don't worry too much about our relationship - I mean, I'm 15, he's 17.. we may be in love, and we've been together a year and a half, but ultimately it's never gonna last forever, at our age. The most important thing is to have fun together now, not the future, marriage etc heh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it can last forever at this age though.

    but to me that'd be a bit of a scary thought.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    my cousin got married to his first girlfriend from when he was 14 and she was 12,

    they would still be together now 20 years on if he was still alive

    i cant imagine being with anyone forever, forever is such a long time,

    i think you need to talk to him about why he lies and tell him that you would rather know the truth even if he thinks it would upset you, afterall how are you ment to trust him when it comes to the big things if he cant even tell you the truth over little things?
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