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Will I ever trust again?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
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Of course you will find it hard to trust again, nobody can possibly expect you to just give somebody 100% trust straight away.
Does you current partner know about your history? if not i would suggest you tell him and although it will be hard, try opening up a little and tell him of your fears and worries but assure him that its down to the way youre past partner treated you.
I would imagine you feel a little betrayed by your friends for not telling you what they knew - ive been in this situation myself a few years back though where i knew a mates gf had cheated on him, i kept quiet but then that was only because the person she had cheated with was another of my mates so i suppose its not exactly the same, it was still hard knowing weather to tell him the truth or not, i mean the news would have crushed him (and did when he finally found out) and i didnt really want to be caught in the middle of it all. Looking back i wish i had said something though, maybe your friends feel the same, i mean they told you in the end didnt they!
If your new bloke is all you've said he is then im sure he will understand why you are the way you are and will be forgiving and supportive of you!
You will grow stronger again over time! Although the pain you have suffered was a while ago now (if i read your post right) it will still be quite raw because that man had taken up a big chunk of your life.
You sound like things are going a lot better for you now so congratulations and welcome to thesite! :thumb: :wave:
I'm sure I'll get flamed for this but ... why not? The new chap hasn't done anything wrong why shouldn't she trust him? Everyone earns and loses their own trust and if you let one persons betrayal effect your relationships with other boyfriends/friends/whatever then ultimately your only hurting yourself.
Anyway thanks for taking the time out to read this, looking back on it now, it is abit on the long side!!
I know its easy to get carried away in the stream of consciousness, but I can't read that at all.
You will get your trust back, but not yet. Time is a great healer.
It wasn't that bad to read actually, it just looked daunting. But the sentences were good and there was none of that annoying text talk stuff so it was okay.
Time will be a great healer.
You need to talk to your new fella, explain to him what happened before. If he cares about you he will be sympathetic, he will listen, he will help you rebuild your confidence and your trust.
It'll take time, but you'll get there.
Thanx Yeah he knows at this stage that my trust has been shattered and will probably take alot of time to get over it fully. At the same time I just hope he doesn't get fed up down the line if it does take me much longer to get over it fully. But at this stage Im going to try not let it worry me and just take each day at a time.
Thanks for taking to time to read this. Yeah I think that time is a great healer too. I think i just thought that I would get over it quicker. Somebody told me at the time I broke up with him that it would just take about a year to get over it, but she was obviously talking out her ass Think I just realise at this stage that everybodys experiences are different and there is no set time limit to get over anything.
Well, you of course have been hurt a great deal by this... excuse of a human shall we say? I feel sorry for you but also feel sorry for the next female who'll fall for him :mad:
You're bound to find it hard trusting someone else again, after everything this other guy did to you. But I think with time you WILL be able to trust, you just gotta find that right guy who makes you know in yourself that he would never even think of doing something as horrible as that. Maybe this guy you have now is him, maybe not.
Just hope it all works out for you either way!