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Worried about a friend again!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok i'll try to keep this as short and simple as i can....
One of my best friends has been with her bf for nearly a year now, she's my age he's 18. They originally met online and after about a year met up in person and have been going out since.
Thing is, the last few months we've been getting worried. He twists things and situations to her to make us seem like the bad people whenever there's an issue with him. He's already fallen out with another one of our friend and turned my friend slightly against her. He's just very manipulative. He's said things to my friend like that she looks better when she wears make up, and even encouraged me to dye my hair brown (thats the hair colour he finds attractive). Her parents don't like him and she is wrapped round his little finger.
She knows that me and our other friend have come close to losing our virginity....and she's going to visit him at easter and said she's gonna lose it then. Thing is...she won't let him touch her down there and when she gave him a blow job she ran out of the room when he came...not a good combination if you're planning on having sex.
She's just so desperate to please him and knows her parents and our friend have 'slight' issues with him, so we think she's going to sleep with him to prove a point when she's not ready.
It's just him in general, he's very dodgy and she's wrapped round his little finger. If we say something he'll twist it and make us seem like the bad people and drive her away from us even more.
We just don't know what to do and we're really worried she'll get too deep into the relationship and not be able to get out because at the same time they're very dependant on each other.
One of my best friends has been with her bf for nearly a year now, she's my age he's 18. They originally met online and after about a year met up in person and have been going out since.
Thing is, the last few months we've been getting worried. He twists things and situations to her to make us seem like the bad people whenever there's an issue with him. He's already fallen out with another one of our friend and turned my friend slightly against her. He's just very manipulative. He's said things to my friend like that she looks better when she wears make up, and even encouraged me to dye my hair brown (thats the hair colour he finds attractive). Her parents don't like him and she is wrapped round his little finger.
She knows that me and our other friend have come close to losing our virginity....and she's going to visit him at easter and said she's gonna lose it then. Thing is...she won't let him touch her down there and when she gave him a blow job she ran out of the room when he came...not a good combination if you're planning on having sex.
She's just so desperate to please him and knows her parents and our friend have 'slight' issues with him, so we think she's going to sleep with him to prove a point when she's not ready.
It's just him in general, he's very dodgy and she's wrapped round his little finger. If we say something he'll twist it and make us seem like the bad people and drive her away from us even more.
We just don't know what to do and we're really worried she'll get too deep into the relationship and not be able to get out because at the same time they're very dependant on each other.
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Comments
Try talking to her, asking her does she truly feel ready for this step. She's only a young'un and shouldn't be contemplating sex if the sight of cum or a willy disturbs her.
Sounds like he's presurrising her into sleeping with him. IMO, anyone like that isn't worth it...
Do you and all your friends just sit on the net looking for boyfriends or something?
Seems that way with some of us siters doesn't it? Whereas I sit online under the pretence of writing essays when really I'm on here, reading about how X met Y online...
Another helpful and insightful post from Turlough. A true collector's item
As for your mate, there ain't a right lot you can do. She's obviously obsessed by him, and there's no telling a teenager when they're obsessed by someone. She'll wake up one day and realise he's a cunt, but when you try and tell a 16-year-old girl she with a cunt and she's wrong she'll stay with him all the longer just to spite you all.
i've just seen her msn name 'please forgive me for not being pretty or sexy'
-sigh-
Why thank you. :flirt:
Ballerina-what do you really expect? Your mates sound really silly to me. Far too silly it's unbleievable. Need a taste of the "real world" methinks.
Them and every other teenager.
*shrug*
There was no need to have a go at me too though. They're teenagers, of course they're silly...one of them has a 21 year old online bf that her parents don't know about! Problem is they're all outcasts and never get attention from boys...so what do you do? Turn to the net, you can hardly blame them.
My friend whos with this guy is drifting further away from reality...but we can't win either way. We'll have to let her go make the mistakes and be here for her, but we're just worried what will happen if she does. He has a terrible temper and has put his fist through walls and doors before, he's also aparrantly been diagnosed with a mild case of Schizophrenia and she doesn't know this. But she's 'goth' and likes him because he's 'weird' so knowing her she'll think it's a good thing.
Nah most teenagers don't go on the internet to find boyfriends and have sex to please them. She's a silly cunt who needs a slap.
Change "go on the internet" to "go to under-18s night" and you're totally wrong.
And if the internet is so bad, why are you still here?
What the fuck are you on about? Where did I say the internet was bad?
ETA:And teens don't go to under 18 clubs to get bf's, they do to snog as many people as possible. Having been to many there wasn't much interaction, just plenty of snogging. And there's not many 18 yr olds in under18's is there? Going onto the internet to find older boys as bf's just to act cool is a very silly thing to do. She needs a slap and he needs a good kicking. End of story.
Get out of my head!
To be honest there's not really anything you can do. Any contention will probably just make her more stubborn-willed and determined to go through with it. She'll come round, try and be there for her when she does - bite your tongue when the "I told you so" tries to escape.