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socially inept
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
That’s the polite term for someone like me :P
Basically I'm 22 and spend most of my time in my flat. Please don’t judge me. How on earth is someone like me, who sweats (literally and figuratively) when talking to someone new, supposed to get to know new people?
Even when I've done presentations to classmates and had great comments, I'm a complete and total wreak on the inside. When I was younger I used to have panic attacks and all the other rubbish which has basically meant that I avoided social situations and spent my time 'inside' my mind most of my life.
To make matters worse, I totally hate the things most people do. I don’t drink, smoke or eat meat. It might not sound like a big deal, but when even the few people that I do know, want to meet in a smoky bar for food/drinks, its not easy to meet them halfway.
More of a rant than anything else, but I just wish I could meet people like me, but can never seem to make the first step to talking to new people.
Basically I'm 22 and spend most of my time in my flat. Please don’t judge me. How on earth is someone like me, who sweats (literally and figuratively) when talking to someone new, supposed to get to know new people?
Even when I've done presentations to classmates and had great comments, I'm a complete and total wreak on the inside. When I was younger I used to have panic attacks and all the other rubbish which has basically meant that I avoided social situations and spent my time 'inside' my mind most of my life.
To make matters worse, I totally hate the things most people do. I don’t drink, smoke or eat meat. It might not sound like a big deal, but when even the few people that I do know, want to meet in a smoky bar for food/drinks, its not easy to meet them halfway.
More of a rant than anything else, but I just wish I could meet people like me, but can never seem to make the first step to talking to new people.
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I much prefer being alone in my room listening to music and "living" in my own mind.
I do smoke occasionally though(only my one friends fags :thumb: )and as for presentations and stuff I felt petrified and usually ended up humiliated.a 3 minute english talk finishing at 1.25.......
Maybe you should try working on your self confidence.I found a site called www.uncommonknowledge.co.uk that has e-mail courses for self confidence and stuff.Its helped me a bit..................when I can be bothered to do it.......
This may sound a bit harsh, but take it in the spirit it's meant - if you want to become more social in these circles then you might have to become a bit more tolerant. I don't eat meat, and it's never stopped me going out for meals. There are shitloads of non-smoking restaurants (more and more daily) and you don't have to drink while you're there, there's pretty much always at least one veggie option. That said, it sounds as if you're not interested in that kind of socialising - why not seek out social/interest groups of people who you think would be like-minded? Conversational Language classes, Environmental Groups, Cookery courses...the possibilities are endless.
I'd like to recommend BTCV volunteering to you, just on the off-chance you might be interested. They run short residential volunteering courses in and UK and abroad (usually over a weekend, or in holidays) and have all kinds of specialisms - dry stone walling, footpath restoration, marshland work, even Heritage stuff like restoring stairwells at ancient castles. It's likely you're not interested at all, but I went through a bad time when I was 16 and went on one of these for a weekend in North Yorkshire. I was outside being active, helping a good cause and meeting open-minded, friendly people. Very little drinking, except a hot toddy after a hard day's work.
Even if you're not interested, volunteering in a different capacity might be a good idea. You're probably trying to focus on yourself at the moment, I can understand that. But helping other causes can be a very powerful thing, lift your spirits, boost your confidence in many different ways and give you a lot of perspective. If you haven't thought of it already then it's worth some deliberation. Thesite even has a sister-site that's all about volunteering...how handy is that?
I'm at uni doing a masters degree
I've thought about this a bit, and I'll look into joining a local art-film society, and maybe just leaving the flat to watch a film by my self. Its gotta be a start right?
Well I've made a promise to myself that I want to change from today. I obviously cant go from social retard to superhero over night. But I'm going to stop doing the things that hold me back, and start doing the things that will hopefully improve things such as getting back in shape to improve self esteem and the like.