If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options
Self Doubt/Rejection
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Ummm, feels kinda weird actually using this place for it's proper purpose......gahhh. I'm not really sure what I'm asking and this will be rambley but here goes:
So, I'm 23. Never been a hit with the ladies, in fact there's been no real relationship ever. And, I've began to wonder why.
There's no logical explanation for it. I'm not hideously deformed, I'm clever, funny, interesting yadda yadda yadda. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm nice but not a door mat. I have a decent group of friends, there really is nothing that stands out as being a problem. I can talk to girls, I can flirt properly, the whole shebang.
The problem seems to be that I don't let people get close to me. I might flirt and what not but I don't let anyone get closer than that. I live in my own little world, keeping everyone out. There's this horrible, crippling self doubt and fear of rejection that beats me down. I can't let peole see the real me in case they reject me completely. I don't even share personal stuff with my real life friends. Hell, I don't post as much as I would on here because I'm scared of rejection. I'm shit scared of being hurt.
So, the question is, how do you open up to other people? It's a ridiculous question I know but I wanted to ask. I know what I have to do, I know why I have to do it......it's just the how that I can't understand. Any advice about opening up to people/getting over the fear of rejection is welcomed. Do I just need confidence/self esteem?
I'm trying to open up to people but I just can't seem to manage it.
So, I'm 23. Never been a hit with the ladies, in fact there's been no real relationship ever. And, I've began to wonder why.
There's no logical explanation for it. I'm not hideously deformed, I'm clever, funny, interesting yadda yadda yadda. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm nice but not a door mat. I have a decent group of friends, there really is nothing that stands out as being a problem. I can talk to girls, I can flirt properly, the whole shebang.
The problem seems to be that I don't let people get close to me. I might flirt and what not but I don't let anyone get closer than that. I live in my own little world, keeping everyone out. There's this horrible, crippling self doubt and fear of rejection that beats me down. I can't let peole see the real me in case they reject me completely. I don't even share personal stuff with my real life friends. Hell, I don't post as much as I would on here because I'm scared of rejection. I'm shit scared of being hurt.
So, the question is, how do you open up to other people? It's a ridiculous question I know but I wanted to ask. I know what I have to do, I know why I have to do it......it's just the how that I can't understand. Any advice about opening up to people/getting over the fear of rejection is welcomed. Do I just need confidence/self esteem?
I'm trying to open up to people but I just can't seem to manage it.
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
0
Comments
Example: Someone (who you think you're relatively close to) asks how are you. Instead of saying "Pretty well" or "Not bad" etc, try a "Well, I have a few problems with <insert word here>, but otherwise no complaints."
Obviously don't do this with everyone, only ones who you think might actually care.
Sorry if it's not any help...
You may find the following article: Boost your pulling confidence a useful read.