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Trust issues
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Yes, as all of you who have read any previous posts by me in this forum are probably aware, i have some major trust issues with my gf.
Well she's gone out tonight to a party with one of her mates, aparently its a 6th form party organised by the school/college that her mate goes to.
I just cant help wondering what shes getting up to but i know i shouldnt be.
It's like im having an argument with my own brain.. 1st it says 'she could be doing anything..wonder who shes sat with..etc..' then the other side of my brain says 'she loves you...shes with you....why would she cheat?..etc..' then the 1st side just argues what ifs. this is really annoying me as i dont want to be accusing her when i see her next i just want to put my mind at rest. grr! :mad:
Well she's gone out tonight to a party with one of her mates, aparently its a 6th form party organised by the school/college that her mate goes to.
I just cant help wondering what shes getting up to but i know i shouldnt be.
It's like im having an argument with my own brain.. 1st it says 'she could be doing anything..wonder who shes sat with..etc..' then the other side of my brain says 'she loves you...shes with you....why would she cheat?..etc..' then the 1st side just argues what ifs. this is really annoying me as i dont want to be accusing her when i see her next i just want to put my mind at rest. grr! :mad:
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Comments
Keep yourself busy, go out with your mates, or something. When you get like this it's important to not sit there and dwell on things. I've always found that being around other people helps, go down the pub, a mates house, whatever, just keep your mind of her for the night.
However, this is fine everytime you start feeling like this, as a quick fix, but there is no doubt a deeper problem that you need to address, whether it's a problem with you and your insecurities or whether she is doing something that causes this worry. Either way only you and her can get to the bottom of it, so you both need to sit down and talk about things.
Hope you have a good evening anyway!
you say you love her, but you clearly don't trust her.
Yes i do have trust issues but its not that i dont trust her, i just get images in my head of things she could possibly be doing and it bugs the hell out of me.
I do have trust for her, its just when im not around her i get paranoid...
Yeah i get like that sometimes, i used to stay in whilst he was out and worry, mostly when out in town drinking, which used to worry me alot. I trust him though and i know where your coming from with the two sides arguing. Deep down i know he wouldn't do that and vise versa, i think it's just a natural thing to worry about it though especially if it's happened in the past. Hedoes text me all night so i know he's safe which helps.
I now try to go out when he does so i have something to take my mind off things, it helps alot.
I know you've mentioned this problem before, but I can't remember what people said in the previous threads, so sorry if this has already been suggested...
I reckon what you need is to have a conversation with your girlfriend about what is cheating etc., and whether it would mean the end of a relationship - not as an accusatory 'I don't trust you' thing, but just a normal 'what is your opinion on this' chat - and in all probabilities her replies will put your mind at rest...and maybe even find out she's as paranoid as you!
I've never had any trust issues with my boyfriend - just as well, since we were long distance for so long - but I think my trust of him has been solidified by the fact that I know exactly what he thinks on cheating. i.e. he thinks very strongly that instead of going behind a partner's back, if something in the relationship was going pear-shaped and someone else had caught his eye, he'd be open about it and end the relationship. He considers kissing cheating and enough reason to split up. He has also said (when asked by a friend, who asked us all the question) that he's never cheated himself.
well sorry but to me, that shows that you don't trust her!