I'm scared of ever going into another relationship...

BillieTheBot · February 2006

...because everytime I do, I end up fucked up. :crying:

Why do break ups always hurt?

I've been split up from my ex for 3/4 months now and despite me being the one stopping us from getting back together(as he wanted us to sort things out), I'm now the one wanting to get back with him :banghead:

Is it normal to miss exes like I am or am I just some fuckin weirdo?

I mean, deep down, I know we shouldn't be together but for the past couple of weeks, I've been really missing him and thinking about everything we had together.

I know I will get over him as I have other exes but arrrrrgggghhh, I come out of every relationship messed up.

Le sigh.

Sorry just had to rant this somewhere.

I'm scared of ever going into another relationship again because every relationship I come out of, I hurt.

Is there any nice guys out there that will treat me the way I want to be treated? Is there any guys out there that will make me happy? Will I ever meet another guy or have I just thrown away something special?

And this whole valentines thing is doing my head in at the moment and really not helping

Former Member · February 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

Is there any nice guys out there that will treat me the way I want to be treated? Is there any guys out there that will make me happy? Will I ever meet another guy or have I just thrown away something special?

Erm I'm sure there are...don't want to sound like a prat but relationships are more than just you. Those arent the questions you should be asking yourself.

You should be asking questions like...am I ready for a relationship where we'll treat each other equally. Can I make another guy happy so he'll make me happy?

Former Member · February 2006

Yeah I know what you mean there. I mean, I always made my ex happy (from what he told me) but he didn't make me happy towards the end as I had too much on my mind. In past relationships, I've always tended to be the girl that puts up with everything and I wish I could change that. I'm just weird. Everytime I fall for a guy, I end up dependent on them and they end up controlling everything I think and feel. This has happened with most guys I've been serious with, does that mean I'll never be ready for another relationship?

Former Member · February 2006

It's completely normal that you'd be feeling this way, sweetheart. Don't beat yourself up about it! You've recently come out of a serious relationship, and it's inevitable that you're going to feeling lonely and miss the security of being one of a pair. This will sound really "self-helpish" but I think you need to work on loving yourself (and the way you feel about you) before you can even contemplate getting into another relationship; this Valentine's Day you should devote all the special attention and love that you would usually give to your partner to yourself.

As for ever meeting another guy, I assure you that you will. Then again, even if you didn't, it wouldn't be worth retreating into a bad relationship just to be with someone.

Oh, you're not a weirdo for missing your ex, he was a big part of your life for a long time. I still miss my ex, despite all his obvious flaws and the fact that he cheated, so if you're weird then I'm psychotic.

Feel better, you're going to be fine!

Former Member · February 2006

you don't miss him...he was a turd, you just miss being in a relationship

honestly, it's not all bad being single, if you feel the need to be in a relationship all the time its a sign of insecurity tbh, and it can be taken advantage of. you need to stand on your own two feet before you go running into another guys arms...you'll handle it better then.

Former Member · February 2006

The worst thing is, I've made a fool of myself by letting him know I miss him.

Then again, he comes on this site so he will only read it anyway, sigh.

I want to remain friends with him but I'm finding it very hard. I've never managed to stay friends with exes but my ex was my best friend for 3 years. I don't want to throw our friendship away as well so how do I stop seeing him more than that?

Former Member · February 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

The worst thing is, I've made a fool of myself by letting him know I miss him.

Then again, he comes on this site so he will only read it anyway, sigh.

I want to remain friends with him but I'm finding it very hard. I've never managed to stay friends with exes but my ex was my best friend for 3 years. I don't want to throw our friendship away as well so how do I stop seeing him more than that?

i had that very same problem! it was really hard because i kept being clingy and he was distant. it was just awkward, in the end we lost touch for a few months, in that time we both went through tough times and cleared our heads. i gave up trying to contact him in the end cause he never responded, i decided if he wanted to contact me then he would...and he did!
but all due respect stace, it didn't do you any good being with him because he played with your head. i hope you realise because we're all screaming it at you! it would be easiest to not have contact in the end....it sounds crazy but it is!

Former Member · February 2006

Just split up with mine and even though in a few monthes Ill hate myself for it, I keep being clingy even though he's made it obvious his mind has been made up. As someone said, embrace your singledom and enjoy time with your friends. I'm going out tomorrow for a few drinks with my best mate, just because I'm making an effort and feel like being happy. If you're not hideously deformed, you're not gonna end up with 10 cats in a council house. end of.

Former Member · February 2006

Ballerina wrote:

if you feel the need to be in a relationship all the time its a sign of insecurity tbh

The most intelligent thing I've ever heard on here. :yes:

Former Member · February 2006

I'm With Stupid wrote:

The most intelligent thing I've ever heard on here. :yes:

thanks

Former Member · February 2006

Don't be scared of getting into another relationship sweetheart. They say the best thing to do when you fall off the horse is to get back on again. A few bad relationships doesn't set your way for life... eventually, you will find someone with who you just click.

To give you some faith... I'd been in relationships from hell. I'd had everything from text message dumpers, to cheaters, and even as far as abusers :eek2: All within two years....

When another boyfriend dumped me, I was at work the next day and I was taken pity on by the lads i was working with. It kinda became apparent how me and Chris, one of the lads clicked, and we've been together since. We have our moments... everyone does.... but we had one of our moments jsut the other night, and yet I've just spent half an hour doodling and sticking extra presents he doesn't know about into his valentines card....

And as for Valentines....

*Stacey* wrote:

And this whole valentines thing is doing my head in at the moment and really not helping

Valentines isn't just for couples you know. It's a day for reminding the people you love, that you love them.

Last year, despite having Chris, I actually spent as much money on my two best friends. I got them both a Valentines Card and present, and spent the afternoon with them. I bet if you did somehting similar you'd have a blast

Former Member · February 2006

you have to realise that you're young and that even though it might seem like the end of the world now and that he was the perfect boyfriend but there really are plenty more fish in the sea. when most of my friends get a new boyfriend they realise the last one wasn't all that special.

it obviously ended for a reason so perhaps you should leave it.

Former Member · February 2006

Awww Stace

.

As said before, needing to be in a relationship can be a sign of insecurities. You have to work out of it is the guy that you want, or the feeling you get from being in a relationship.

You also have to figure out whether the reason you broke up with him is still valid. If there was something missing, then the chances are it won't suddenly re-appear.

Of course you'll find someone decent. The problem is, when you're looking you'll never find them. The best relationships seem to start out from rather unexpected places - it'll hit you and knock you off your feet

.

Will you be my Valentine?

:thumb:

Former Member · February 2006

Of course I'll be your valentine

Former Member · February 2006

This is one reason why I look forward to February 15th - because we won't have to bother with this Valentine's Day bollocks for another year. The only people who will be truly happy at the end of today are the businesses who are milking it for all it's worth. Bastards.

Anyway, I've only been through one break-up, and it hurt like hell. I'd struggle to get into another relationship. What I would say though is, don't rush into anything new, look before you leap.

Former Member · February 2006

i don't get these people that are like 'omg valentines day is just a day for clintons to make money'. if you don't like it, don't subscribe to it!!

Former Member · February 2006

lucifer devil wrote:

i don't get these people that are like 'omg valentines day is just a day for clintons to make money'. if you don't like it, don't subscribe to it!!

Oh, what's your problem now? I subscribe to it and I know it's bollocks and I suspect most people here do too.

Former Member · February 2006

stargalaxy wrote:

Oh, what's your problem now? I subscribe to it and I know it's bollocks and I suspect most people here do too.

fucking hell.

stargalaxy stop taking things so personally.

all i'm saying is if you think it's too commercialised, make a card or something instead of buying one.

Former Member · February 2006

lucifer devil wrote:

fucking hell. stargalaxy stop taking things so personally. all i'm saying is if you think it's too commercialised, make a card or something instead of buying one.

I wasn't taking it personally at all. :rolleyes:

Former Member · February 2006

so what's with the 'oh what's your problem now?'. :rolleyes:

Former Member · February 2006

*Stacey* wrote:

Of course I'll be your valentine

Woohoo!

If only everyone else in this thread were so easy to please

.

Former Member · February 2006

I think everyone goes through this when they have come out of a long term relationship. They start to forget that persons bad point or the bad point in the relationship and only think on the good things/times, its only natural for you to start to miss them and what you had at that point ( i know i did)

My advise is go out there have fun, go out with friends, family etc... just enjoy yourself for awhile. then you can start looking entering another relationship when your comfy with yourself. and who know Mr right might be just round the corner.

in the mean time heres a BIG HUG for you.

littlemissy · February 2006

stargalaxy wrote:

The only people who will be truly happy at the end of today are the businesses who are milking it for all it's worth. Bastards.

Not true. Not even one little bit true.

Valentines Day is what you make it. Simple as.

I had a friend who celebrated anti-valentine's day each year. She would go to a scary film and go out and get pissed. Simple as. She looked forward to her girly night each year and even met her partner doing this!

And if you don't like Valentine's Day then ignore it. Simple as. It is easy enough to do.

But in regards to the OP ...

You *know* you did the right thing. I think what you are missing is not your ex but the whole concept of being in a relationship which is something you yourself need to get over.

Former Member · February 2006

littlemissy wrote:

You *know* you did the right thing. I think what you are missing is not your ex but the whole concept of being in a relationship which is something you yourself need to get over.

Yep i agree with you (and the rest about valentines day aswell

) I know it's hard it it may even take longer than you hope or expect but there is life afterwards, and so much fun out there for you to be having and so many potential new guys for you to meet, from reading what you put on these boards it always sounded like he treated you like crap and towards the end you weren't truley happy, just putting up with it so to speak.

Just make sure you keep yourself busy, and keep your options open don't turn down oppurtunitys to go out and what not, have some fun being you for a little while

I'm scared of ever going into another relationship...

Comments