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Just need a rant.. feel free to post your opinion
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I just feel really let down, and need a rant... I've spent the last few hours crying my eyes out. (This WILL be long... only read if you're brave)
Due to being ditched earlier in the week,and from being a bit down for various toher reasons my boyfriend promised me we would spend all of today together, looking at cars for me and just enjoying ourselves and relaxing, maybe watch a couple of films.
Last night, he asked very nicely if we could put that on hold for a couple of hours, as he'd been asked to play golf for a couple of hours this morning and really wanted to go. I said yes, reluctantly, and so he came to pick me up at half 12.
As we got in the car to go to his and go out, he told me he'd agreed to go out tonight, to watch TV with his two mates. One of these mates he's not even talking to. My face must of made it clear what I thought, because he asked if that was OK. I agreed, and off we went, but was quiet with him all day.
During the day, he left me at least 3 times to go and pick things up (fine by me, but why couldn't I go with him.. or at least get the option... but thats just me being petty.) He also decided to sit and watch the rugby, knowing I don't like it, and blanked me the entire time - I even went to sleep before he noticed me.
Then at about 6pm, his friend phoned, asking if we wanted to go the cinema instead - me included this time. We agreed and I helped him finish what he needed to do quickly, so he could take me home to change before we went. I even phoned ahead to ask to borrow money and to make sure I could go out and have a good time for the first time in weeks.
Just as we were driving home, my phone rang. His mates had decided not to go, and they were just going to watch TV again. I told him and he just agreed to it. He dropped me off with the promise of "I'll phone you in 20 minutes". A bit gutted, I went inside and got upset and told me mum how used I felt.
I waited 20 minutes for him to phone. Then I gave up and went upstairs.
After an hour and forty minutes, I text him saying thank you for my phone call, to remind him he'd forgotten me. He phoned me then, saying he'd been in the bath (for nearly two hours?) and that he was going to Matt's and he'd see me in the morning. The whole phone call lasted less than a minute, and thats including the time it took for my parents to answer and me to go downstairs to the phone.
I don't know, I just feel like I'm second best, considering today was meant to be just for us two to relax. Now I'm stuck at home, as all my friends have made plans of their own and he gets to go out and enjoy himself.
I might just be being selfish but to be ditched by my own boyfriend when I really need him so he can watch TV (thats ALL they're doing :eek2: not going anywhere or having a drink together or anything) with two lads he sees all the time - and one he's not even speaking to - feels unfair. I just don't know how to get across to him that it's really hurt my feelings.
Due to being ditched earlier in the week,and from being a bit down for various toher reasons my boyfriend promised me we would spend all of today together, looking at cars for me and just enjoying ourselves and relaxing, maybe watch a couple of films.
Last night, he asked very nicely if we could put that on hold for a couple of hours, as he'd been asked to play golf for a couple of hours this morning and really wanted to go. I said yes, reluctantly, and so he came to pick me up at half 12.
As we got in the car to go to his and go out, he told me he'd agreed to go out tonight, to watch TV with his two mates. One of these mates he's not even talking to. My face must of made it clear what I thought, because he asked if that was OK. I agreed, and off we went, but was quiet with him all day.
During the day, he left me at least 3 times to go and pick things up (fine by me, but why couldn't I go with him.. or at least get the option... but thats just me being petty.) He also decided to sit and watch the rugby, knowing I don't like it, and blanked me the entire time - I even went to sleep before he noticed me.
Then at about 6pm, his friend phoned, asking if we wanted to go the cinema instead - me included this time. We agreed and I helped him finish what he needed to do quickly, so he could take me home to change before we went. I even phoned ahead to ask to borrow money and to make sure I could go out and have a good time for the first time in weeks.
Just as we were driving home, my phone rang. His mates had decided not to go, and they were just going to watch TV again. I told him and he just agreed to it. He dropped me off with the promise of "I'll phone you in 20 minutes". A bit gutted, I went inside and got upset and told me mum how used I felt.
I waited 20 minutes for him to phone. Then I gave up and went upstairs.
After an hour and forty minutes, I text him saying thank you for my phone call, to remind him he'd forgotten me. He phoned me then, saying he'd been in the bath (for nearly two hours?) and that he was going to Matt's and he'd see me in the morning. The whole phone call lasted less than a minute, and thats including the time it took for my parents to answer and me to go downstairs to the phone.
I don't know, I just feel like I'm second best, considering today was meant to be just for us two to relax. Now I'm stuck at home, as all my friends have made plans of their own and he gets to go out and enjoy himself.
I might just be being selfish but to be ditched by my own boyfriend when I really need him so he can watch TV (thats ALL they're doing :eek2: not going anywhere or having a drink together or anything) with two lads he sees all the time - and one he's not even speaking to - feels unfair. I just don't know how to get across to him that it's really hurt my feelings.
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Comments
Hope you feel better soon though xxx
Agreed. Just make sure that you make it clear that you don't expect him to spend all of his time with you...
Oh that's come up in the past... when I had a go at him for phoning and cancelling on me last minute a while ago, he argued that he didn't have to spend all of his time with me. I agreed that was fine... it's just when he makes a plan with me and breaks it off ten minutes before I get arsey. It means he gets to go out and have fun and I have zero time to make plans, and end up sitting here.
He doesn't have to see me every day and I wouldn't make him. I just feel a bit gutted tonight really. It just seems they could have done this any night, but I need a caring friend tonight... not when he choses to call me in the morning because theres no one else about.
I did last time it happened (a long time ago now) and I realised, that that was ALL the problem was. He's a lovely boyfriend, he treats me like a princess (usually) and he's my best friend.... but every so often I get this... where his mates come first. I usually get annoyed, but after 18 months you can't expect it to be perfect. I think today just upsets more because he KNEW I'd had a rough few weeks and needed him tonight.
I spent the weekend looking at cars for a mate - you haven't got it quite so bad! We did 600 miles and only saw two cars... think we found the one though
No, I did what everyone here told me to - told him it hurt my feelings. And when he couldn't understand why, I gave him a couple of hypothetical situations and he soon realised how upset I must of been... and I was the best girlfriend in the world. I ddi however shout that I wasn't going to be second best to rugby and he replied I'm not second best to anything... so maybe I was a bit oversensitive too
[EDIT] And if you can find any cars that are near enough for me and my boyfriend to get too, cost under £600, are suitable and insurable for a 17yr old learner, AND are a model that my super protective mechanic dad approves of, you are god.
**Edit** - I'll keep my eyes peeled. I know of a nasty Peugeot 106 with a knackered head gasket, but you don't want that
[EDIT] Dad works at Davies Motors.... but was a mechanic for some other company that kept changing their name for like 22 years... he's given me a list of cars I'm not allowed... which Peugot 106 has recently been added to, as Chris's breaks down constantly. :rolleyes: They're currently considering a Corsa for me.
Umm ... what?! *cough* high maintenance *cough*
Nah, she'll end up with a good car
No, I'll end pu with one he approves of.... he approves of (certain) fiats.... but he'd rather me have a Corsa.... the boyfriend likes that idea too (as he's gonna eb insured on it)
We'll see how long that lasts