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could do with a bit of advice please

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
im worried that the new lad ive been seeing is a "player" aka got about 3 other girls on the go, will always cheat on me etc. When i first met him i was with someone so we just talked as friends and even then i accused him of being a player cos thats how he came across (hes goodlooking, funny and can talk to anyone) he swore blind he wasnt and said hes never cheated on a girlfriend. then when me and my ex split up we started talking, i got over the whole player thing and started to believe that maybe he was just interested in me, now my mate has told me that she doesnt like him and thinks that hes is a "player" and is only after one thing he can get :eek: . but my other mate thinks he might have been in the past but has changed with me

ive been messed around a lot by lads so find it REALLY difficult to trust them anyway, (only 1 of my boyfriends hasnt cheated on me) :(

i just dont know what to do.my friend saying that has really knocked me sideways cause i thought she liked him.

uugh i just really dont know what to do. im petrified of getting hurt again but i would really like to see where this is going. if i get cheated on again i dont know what id do. thing is he knows how badly ive been hurt so do you think someone could really be that mean to just let it happen again just to get their own way?

really could do with some advice and if there are any self confessed "players" out there maybe you could tell me how you act around girls and what sort of things youd say and do to get them to fall for you so i can see if he does it! :blush: !!

im sorry for the really long post! just really need advice

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think you should listen to much to what your friend thinks, you should take it in to account but in the end do what you thinks right, just take it slow and dont put yourself in a position where you might be hurt by him.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    :yes: I agree - I think it would be a good idea for you to take on board what your friends are saying here - but at the same time it's really important to listen to your gut instinct.

    Has your friend who doubts him given you clear reasons for her insistence that he is a player? If she hasn't then perhaps ask her to explain and if she hasn't got a good reason for saying he is then perhaps tell her that you don't think it's fair to make hurtful judgements without good reason. If she knows something that you don't know then it's only fair as a friend that she should tell you about it.

    On the other side of the fence, it may be worth asking your other friend why she does trust him - has she seen a side to him your other friend has missed?

    If you feel that having a suspicious mind is starting to get you down then why not read the advice given in this Q&A from our relationships advisors on askTheSite. I know it isn't quite the same situation, but some of the same issues arise. Alternatively, you could submit your own question - everyone's questions are answered individually.

    I hope things work out for you ;)
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