Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Options

Are my expectations too high?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I've nearly been with my boyfriend for a year & most of the time I love him to bits & he's my best mate in the world! But there's something that bugs me about him & I don't know whether it's me being silly or whether this is a valid problem.

Thing is, I think he takes me for granted! He knows I'll always be around at the moment as I'm feeling very vunerable due to other problems in my life right now!! It always seems to be me who makes the effort - I buy him little presents if I see something he'll like & is cheap; I send him texts letting him know I love him; I've made him a scrapbook for our 1 year anniversary reminising about some of the memories we've had in our 1st year together.
He never does anything like that for me & it just gets me upset sometimes!

I'm back at home for the weekend, & he hasnt sent me one text asking if i'm alright & telling me he misses me. It always seems to be me who has to txt him first!!

So,what do you think?? And if you do think he's taking me for granted, what can I do to make him realise? I've tried talking to him about it & he makes an effort for a day then doesnt bother again!

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

    If you want him to do those things, I think you'll have to tell him that's what you want.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    its possible that he just isn't the romantic type, if you are really into little flourishes and demonstrations of affection, then you might just have to learn to spot the little ways he's appreciating you, whether he pays you more attention than everyone else when you're out with mates, the way he reaches for your hand... i dunno, on the other hand you could try to stop being so demonstrative and hope that he misses it, and decides to make the effort. if the two of you are together long term you'll probably get used to each other- he'll probably start being a little more expressive, and you'll probably start being more recoeptive to the subtleties of his affection. at least know that usually if he's not acting up its because he's comfortable with you. be happy with yourself
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yea ive got one like that , and one that needs sorting out!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Kentish wrote:
    Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.

    If you want him to do those things, I think you'll have to tell him that's what you want.

    :yes: Us guys are not really good most of the time for stuff like that...
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont you think most women just want to be courted like that (forever).
    Little gestures that show you care and have been thinking about her are romantic and mean more than any expensive gifts
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *bexfizz* wrote:
    I've nearly been with my boyfriend for a year & most of the time I love him to bits & he's my best mate in the world! But there's something that bugs me about him & I don't know whether it's me being silly or whether this is a valid problem.

    Thing is, I think he takes me for granted! He knows I'll always be around at the moment as I'm feeling very vunerable due to other problems in my life right now!! It always seems to be me who makes the effort - I buy him little presents if I see something he'll like & is cheap; I send him texts letting him know I love him; I've made him a scrapbook for our 1 year anniversary reminising about some of the memories we've had in our 1st year together.
    He never does anything like that for me & it just gets me upset sometimes!

    I'm back at home for the weekend, & he hasnt sent me one text asking if i'm alright & telling me he misses me. It always seems to be me who has to txt him first!!

    So,what do you think?? And if you do think he's taking me for granted, what can I do to make him realise? I've tried talking to him about it & he makes an effort for a day then doesnt bother again!

    Don't always be the one who gets in touch first. If you do that, you'll appear clingy and it will put him off. Cut down on the texts and presents, that's the best way to push him towards reciprocation.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont you think most women just want to be courted like that (forever).
    Little gestures that show you care and have been thinking about her are romantic and mean more than any expensive gifts

    Depends on the woman. A lot would view the continual lavishment of presents etc as weakness and become bored.

    Different for people who love each other on a roughly equal basis though.
Sign In or Register to comment.