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Entertain me!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
I have a long night of essay writing in front of me ... probably wont be done until the early hours of the morning. I need you lot to help me through this difficult time. Tell me an entertaining story, a joke, a piece of advice or just provide some form of distraction!

Do it!

To start it all off ... two peanuts walking down the road

One was a salted (assaulted ... get it?!?! :lol: )

Ahem...anyway...

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    how about you knuckle down now and get ur essays done early, meaning you get abit more sleep?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ahahahaha. I love corny jokes.

    So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.

    They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.

    And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"

    And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Ahahahaha. I love corny jokes.

    So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.

    They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.

    And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"

    And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"
    That's my joke omg ;(.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Ahahahaha. I love corny jokes.

    So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.

    They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.

    And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"

    And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"

    thats the best joke ever, i just rang my mate to tell him that one, i love it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We can share it :angel:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    We can share it :angel:
    Deal :p.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have anoother oneee.

    So there's a vampire walking down the road minding his own business. Out of nowhere a pork pie flies through the air hitting him on the nose. Slightly bedazzled he looks about yet sees nothing.

    He carries on his merry way and WHOOSH a cocktail sausage slams into his shoulder stunning him. 'WHO KEEPS DOING THIS??' He shouts. No answer. So again he carries on walking but with caution.

    Just as he reaches the road a flan pelts him in the side of his head. Knocking him to the floor. Lying on the floor in pain a dark figure stands before him grasping a crucifix. The vampire looks up at his attacker and exclaims 'WHO ARE YOU? BEFORE YOU KILL ME I NEED A NAME'.
    A voice replies 'Tis I...Buffet the Vampire Slayer'

    Hahaha oh dear. I'm sorry. :blush:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    I have anoother oneee.

    So there's a vampire walking down the road minding his own business. Out of nowhere a pork pie flies through the air hitting him on the nose. Slightly bedazzled he looks about yet sees nothing.

    He carries on his merry way and WHOOSH a cocktail sausage slams into his shoulder stunning him. 'WHO KEEPS DOING THIS??' He shouts. No answer. So again he carries on walking but with caution.

    Just as he reaches the road a flan pelts him in the side of his head. Knocking him to the floor. Lying on the floor in pain a dark figure stands before him grasping a crucifix. The vampire looks up at his attacker and exclaims 'WHO ARE YOU? BEFORE YOU KILL ME I NEED A NAME'.
    A voice replies 'Tis I...Buffet the Vampire Slayer'

    Hahaha oh dear. I'm sorry. :blush:
    Oh. Dear. Where do you find these?! :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sian told it to me :yeees:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Two nuns are driving down a road when a vampire jumps on to the bonnet. "Quick," says the driver "show him your cross!"
    So the other nun winds down the window and shouts "fuck off you cunt!"
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    LOL :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Haha :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I had this dog called Minton and it ate my shuttle cock, so I said to him.
    "Bad Minton!" (badminton)
    ROFL I found it hilarious when I heard it, sorry if u found it lame.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Nice jokes!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    I have anoother oneee.

    So there's a vampire walking down the road minding his own business. Out of nowhere a pork pie flies through the air hitting him on the nose. Slightly bedazzled he looks about yet sees nothing.

    He carries on his merry way and WHOOSH a cocktail sausage slams into his shoulder stunning him. 'WHO KEEPS DOING THIS??' He shouts. No answer. So again he carries on walking but with caution.

    Just as he reaches the road a flan pelts him in the side of his head. Knocking him to the floor. Lying on the floor in pain a dark figure stands before him grasping a crucifix. The vampire looks up at his attacker and exclaims 'WHO ARE YOU? BEFORE YOU KILL ME I NEED A NAME'.
    A voice replies 'Tis I...Buffet the Vampire Slayer'

    Hahaha oh dear. I'm sorry. :blush:
    :lol: i just nearly wee'd
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    pcman1985 wrote:
    I had this dog called Minton and it ate my shuttle cock, so I said to him.
    "Bad Minton!" (badminton)
    ROFL I found it hilarious when I heard it, sorry if u found it lame.
    :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Rachael wrote:
    Ahahahaha. I love corny jokes.

    So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.

    They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.

    And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"

    And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"

    ohmigd thats my favorite joke ever. i forgot all about it. i love you now.
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