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Since it's the most depressing day or something, start it with a laugh.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
The Royal Wedding Night
Camilla bought new shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on. That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling. Please remove my shoes. My feet are killing me!"
Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge.
"Harder!" yelled Camilla.
"Harder!" Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"
"Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried.
Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good!"
In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See? I told you with a face like that, she was still a virgin!"
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one's even tighter!"
At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy: once a Navy man, always a Navy man!"
Camilla bought new shoes for her wedding which got increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on. That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, "Charles, darling. Please remove my shoes. My feet are killing me!"
Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge.
"Harder!" yelled Camilla.
"Harder!" Charles yelled back, "I'm trying, darling! But it's just so bloody tight!"
"Come on! Give it all you've got!" she cried.
Finally, when it released, Charles let out a big groan and Camilla exclaimed, "There! Oh, God, that feels so good!"
In their bedroom next door, the Queen said to Prince Phillip, "See? I told you with a face like that, she was still a virgin!"
Meanwhile, as Charles tried to remove her left shoe, he cried, "Oh, God, darling! This one's even tighter!"
At which Prince Phillip said to the Queen, "That's my boy: once a Navy man, always a Navy man!"
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Comments
Another royal joke it reminded me of...
Prince Charles was officiating in the opening of a small theatre in Shepton Mallet. He was dressed in his usual tweed suit but had a full vixen on his head complete with head, legs and tail.
One of the theatres patrons discretely asked Charles what was the strange headgear all about.
"Ah, yes" said Charles, "I was speaking to mummy this morning before we set off and she was asking me where I was going today. I said I was going to open a theatre in Shepton Mallet. Oh yes, she said, wear the fox hat."
Or maybe watch this and get a better idea?
I do get the connection between "fox hat" and "fox as a hat", but there has to be something more.
HTH
A couple were invited to a swanky family masked fancy dress Halloween party.
The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time to be spoiled by not going.
So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, woke without pain and as it was still early, decided go to the party. As her husband didn't know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
So she joined the party and soon spotted her husband in his costume, cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice "chick" he could and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
His wife went up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his new partner high and dry and devoted his time to her. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
After more drinks he finally whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had passionate intercourse in the back seat. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make up for his outrageous behaviour.
She was sitting up reading when he came in, so she asked what kind of time he had. "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there." Then she asked, "Did you dance much?" He replied, "I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the spare room and played poker all evening"
"You must have looked really silly wearing that costume playing poker all night!" she said with unashamed sarcasm.
To which the husband replied, "Actually, I gave my costume to your Dad, apparently he had the time of his life."
This one was really good.
Sorry - don't know any jokes.
But I bet you, you still laughed