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Entertain me!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
I have a long night of essay writing in front of me ... probably wont be done until the early hours of the morning. I need you lot to help me through this difficult time. Tell me an entertaining story, a joke, a piece of advice or just provide some form of distraction!
Do it!
To start it all off ... two peanuts walking down the road
One was a salted (assaulted ... get it?!?! )
Ahem...anyway...
Do it!
To start it all off ... two peanuts walking down the road
One was a salted (assaulted ... get it?!?! )
Ahem...anyway...
0
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So there's these 2 muffins in an oven.
They're both sitting, just chilling and getting baked.
And one of them yells "God Damn, it's hot in here!"
And the other muffin replies "Holy Crap, a talking muffin!"
thats the best joke ever, i just rang my mate to tell him that one, i love it.
So there's a vampire walking down the road minding his own business. Out of nowhere a pork pie flies through the air hitting him on the nose. Slightly bedazzled he looks about yet sees nothing.
He carries on his merry way and WHOOSH a cocktail sausage slams into his shoulder stunning him. 'WHO KEEPS DOING THIS??' He shouts. No answer. So again he carries on walking but with caution.
Just as he reaches the road a flan pelts him in the side of his head. Knocking him to the floor. Lying on the floor in pain a dark figure stands before him grasping a crucifix. The vampire looks up at his attacker and exclaims 'WHO ARE YOU? BEFORE YOU KILL ME I NEED A NAME'.
A voice replies 'Tis I...Buffet the Vampire Slayer'
Hahaha oh dear. I'm sorry.
So the other nun winds down the window and shouts "fuck off you cunt!"
"Bad Minton!" (badminton)
ROFL I found it hilarious when I heard it, sorry if u found it lame.
ohmigd thats my favorite joke ever. i forgot all about it. i love you now.