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why are guys so confusing?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
met a fella online few months ago, traded numbers, talked a hell of a lot, became close and talked about taking it further than friendship. i ask to meet, he always has other plans, then apologises for not treating me right....this circle continues and things go well again then he stops talking for ages and im really just wondering the easiest way to either get everything sorted or just end it where it is (which i think is probably the best thign to do only im afraid to cos it means i have to start getting close to someone again....)


i know that was confusing but i cant make it any clearer...well, maybe i can but if you make sense out of it...let me know what to do....or ask some questions and ill try to clarify it for you. thanks everyone..i know im horrible sometimes...thanks again

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    what reasons does he give for not wanting to meet?
    have you considered that he has a girlfriend? (even if he tells you he hasnt)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would suggest stop asking him out, if he want you he will call you to meet, if not well, you know he is not that intesrested...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    he always has other plans...yeh i have considered that...i think i even talk to her....well, his best mate and he have a very strange relationship in that she fancies him and he loves her in a friendly sort of way (yes my eyebrow raised at thsi point) but he keeps telling me that there's nothing with them and goes on about how much it's me he wants and blah blah blah....i think if i hadnt such an anxiety about getting close to people he'd be gone long ago....
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nihilisticmadman wrote:
    I would suggest stop asking him out, if he want you he will call you to meet, if not well, you know he is not that intesrested...
    im not asking him out....i asked to meet as friends and one minute he says yeh hed love to, next he cancels or something
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Stop asking him then. You're only mugging yourself. The more you ask, the more you'll get told no.

    That's the harsh reality of the situation. I'd suggest looking for someone else through social circles or school etc.

    Guys aren't confusing at all. If he says no, he isn't interested. Guys generally don't use double-speak like women (or politicians) do - anything said can be taken for its literal meaning.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Spliffie wrote:
    Stop asking him then. You're only mugging yourself. The more you ask, the more you'll get told no.

    That's the harsh reality of the situation. I'd suggest looking for someone else through social circles or school etc.

    Guys aren't confusing at all. If he says no, he isn't interested. Guys generally don't use double-speak like women (or politicians) do - anything said can be taken for its literal meaning.
    the confusing part is him asking me what he can do to make me want him and other things along the lines of this
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Schnook wrote:
    im not asking him out....i asked to meet as friends and one minute he says yeh hed love to, next he cancels or something

    Oh I see, I thought it was more date meeting...

    Also I know there is some man that just forgot or always change their plan, I can be like that, also never done it if it was to meet up a girl i fancy, but I have some mates that do so, even when they are already in a relationship with the girl...

    All I am thinking is, if it start like that and he fancy you, what will it be if he actually have a relationship with you, cos seems like he isn't doing much effort to meet you and usualy you get more attention before being the relationship.

    Personaly as a guy, if I fancy a girl, I'll be there to meet her every chance i get... And I think most of us do...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Schnook wrote:
    the confusing part is him asking me what he can do to make me want him and other things along the lines of this
    Well seems like the answer is easy, all you want from him is to meet him and stop cancelling all the time... If he can't do it, he is obvisouly not willing (it's not like it's asking a lot) and I would say go find someone that is going to desire you like you should be and will want to spend as much time with you as possible...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nihilisticmadman wrote:
    Well seems like the answer is easy, all you want from him is to meet him and stop cancelling all the time... If he can't do it, he is obvisouly not willing (it's not like it's asking a lot) and I would say go find someone that is going to desire you like you should be and will want to spend as much time with you as possible...
    this is what id rather do. its just i find it hard to get close to someone and so when i do i wanna keep them around...i just hate the idea of having to do it all again.... oh well, thanks anyway :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Schnook wrote:
    the confusing part is him asking me what he can do to make me want him and other things along the lines of this

    Well I'd say he could be keeping you on hold. See what happens with other girls first and and if he's left without a bird for a while then you're his back-up.

    Or maybe he just finds the idea of going out with someone he's met on the net is just not something he's comfortable with.

    Perhaps a combination of both. So, whichever it is, you're best off forgetting it imho.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Schnook wrote:
    im the same...so, do you think i should just not bother with that one anymore and go n try n get close to someone else? :chin:
    Yep that what I think, what kind of romance and passion will you get if you have to be constantly on his ass making sure he comes and at the end you will keep asking yourself "does he really fancy me?" "does he really want to meet me?" "am i boring?" etc... so I say save you the stress and go find someone that is worth it and that will show you everyday that they desire you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nihilisticmadman wrote:
    Yep that what I think, what kind of romance and passion will you get if you have to be constantly on his ass making sure he comes and at the end you will keep asking yourself "does he really fancy me?" "does he really want to meet me?" "am i boring?" etc... so I say save you the stress and go find someone that is worth it and that will show you everyday that they desire you.
    i agree...think ill do this...thanks :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :thumb:
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