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I ended it why do I feel so bad?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
Things had been rocky for a while, but the last week had been perfect, lots of love, kisses and affection a dream come true, but today i ended it, couldnt do it anymore was unfair on the both of us.

But i am now sat alone in my room no one around and i hate myself for it, I really do i dont think i regret it i just see stuff he has bought me, or think of times he has bene there for me, made me laugh, helped me with work at college (we are at same place, same year and course). I cant imagine life without him but cant really imagine being with him. It got to the point where i knew it was not going further, he wanted sex i wanted a stable friendship/relationship - we wanted diffrent things.

I really fancy him, love him so much but needed a while away, i know there is no chance he would ever want to get back. we split in april and he went off and slept with a girl from our course at college with them in the same group its getting to me. I just dont feel after a break-up how you can get back what you used to have! I love him so very much but cant see anyway out!

Help me - how can i get over it, i feel awful! :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's miserable, this stage, whilst you're going through it. But it will pass, I promise. Eventually you'll find you won't think about him quite so much, one day you'll find you actually feel happy for a while. And so it goes on.

    I remember when my first serious bf who I'd been with for a few years finished with me, we were actually engaged and I really thought we would get married and everything. I was absolutely heartbroken, it felt like the world would end. To begin with I virtually stalked him! But I got over him in the end, about a year later I was seeing someone else and he asked me to go back to him. I said no. I had actually begun to think he was a bit of a prat.

    About 5 years later I saw him in the street and crossed the road to avoid him. Now I don't know what I ever saw in him. I know you're probably thinking that won't happen to you because you kind of still love him. And it might not. But I'm just telling you to show you how things can change. I thought the sun shone out of his arse, now I wouldn't even bother to say hello to him.

    Time is what will help, that's about it really.

    (Btw, this post has been recycled, just in case you've read it before, but it applies just as equally to you as the other thread in which I posted it.)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah but why do 'I' feel so crap, it was me who ended it!

    not the other way round - i feel so guilty and so nasty, i am hating myself for it :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You feel crap because you have hurt him by dumping him. Break ups are always hard no matter if you dump someone of they dump you. You also feel crap because you are letting go of someone you care about. It will be hard for a while but you will feel better. Just hang in there, do things to take your mind off it. If you need anyone to chat to I would be happy to listen.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because you wanted things to be different? Because you thought you could change things and make them OK? Because sometimes, just sometimes you saw a glimmer of how things could be if he only wanted it, like you did? Because you're a nice, giving, caring person?

    Any or all of the above could apply. Or any number of other things. Just give yourself some time.
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