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Saying Sorry

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm not sure if this is the best area for this post - so sorry if it's in the wrong place!

For nearly a year now, I've not been very well (in the head - pardon the expression), and as a result have thought that my ex is dead. I know that sounds very strange, but I believed it to be real, up until coming out with it to someone recently, and then owning up to lying about it the next day, which has prompted me to get professional help.

However, back in April / May, I told another friend of my ex being dead (it sounds weird, but at the time I believed it to be true - hard to explain, but bear with me). She was helpful and supportive, which makes me feel worse now - but I feel that she deserves to know the truth, regardless of any consequences to our friendship. Even if I lose my friendship, I feel being honest is far more important.

But how is the best way of telling her? I am extremely ashamed of myself, and cannot see myself bringing to tell her in person. A text or e-mail is just too informal and off-the-cuff, so I was thinking of a card. Obviously, it would say more than "I lied to you about my ex being dead", but is it the "best" way? (If there's a best way in the circumstances!)

Or should I tell her in person?

Thanks,

Mac.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should say it in person. Obviously telling her that your ex bf had died is a pretty major lie. As long as you explain what was/is wrong with your mental health, and at the same time you were/are very grateful for her support throughout "it".

    Definately do it face to face, otherwise it's kinda like taking an easy way out. Good luck. Even if she doesn't accept it at first, and gets pissed off (which is gonna be understandable) give her some space and hopefully she will forgive you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Face to face. She has the option to ask questions, and you have the opportunity to answer them. If you send a card, email, or text, that may just be the end of it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think you should say it in person. Obviously telling her that your ex bf had died is a pretty major lie. As long as you explain what was/is wrong with your mental health, and at the same time you were/are very grateful for her support throughout "it".

    Definately do it face to face, otherwise it's kinda like taking an easy way out. Good luck. Even if she doesn't accept it at first, and gets pissed off (which is gonna be understandable) give her some space and hopefully she will forgive you.

    It was my ex gf, but thanks anyway - think I've gotta do it in person.

    To be honest, I don't expect her to accept it or forgive me, but I'd rather she knew the truth. At least that's one thing I will have done right.

    Mac.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if shes a real friend she will take the time to listen to you and not jump to conclusions o and by the way did you start the lie about the ex being dead i didnt really get that bit?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, I lied to my friend saying my ex was dead, but at the time I thought it was true (I know that sounds weird, but as I said, I wasn't well). Now I know it's not true, I feel I need to tell my friend the truth.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well i think you should tell your friend that you "lied" and i think she will take it easy cause really you didnt lie you thought it was true. So i think there is nothing really to be nervous about, nothing to worry about it was just a misunderstanding.

    Good luck :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If you thought it was true at the time then technically I don't think you were lying. I'd say that you tell her that you had some problems and take it from there. Explain that at the time you were messed up and believed he was dead, when in fact he wasn't.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yes, she'll understand if you explain why you thought it was that way, that you were ill.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I told her yesterday, although it was by text. I wanted to tell her in person, but she said she was worried and wanted to know what it was about now.

    Anyway, I told her the truth, explained it as best I could etc. She took it fairly well, and said she appreciated me telling her. She said it was a shock (understandable!), but she'd still want to be my friend. And things seem pretty fine so far, as I saw her today and took the chance to thank her for being supportive about it.

    Still, its early days. Fingers crossed, but either way, I'm glad I told the truth.
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    **helen****helen** Deactivated Posts: 9,235 Supreme Poster
    That's great news :D good on you!
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