Young Carers of The Mix, we need you! Tell us about your experiences of our services and give yourself a chance to win £50 of Amazon vouchers.

Meeting interesting new people.

SystemSystem Posts: 8,585 Community Managers
I have problems meeting new people. Particularly interesting ones. Bah.
To be honest I feel a bit silly for having to post and ask such a fundamental question (that I've probably asked before). An imaginary slice of cake for whoever reads to the end ;)

I met the ex at a wedding, but these type of social events (that I'm at) are about as rare as hens teeth.

I don't know what I have to do to improve this, I work for a big company in a reasonably large department. They're nice, but it's not amazingly social (it's work, I don't expect it to be) so that's not oodles of help.
My hobbies (if you call them that) are mainly reading, lazing about and going to the pub (with the same people as always, which is nice, but no help in this situation).

How do all you other people manage? I know two or three months isn't that long between relationships, but I feel that I'm back to square one. I'm no more confident than I was, and have no better chances of meeting anyone (which I couldn't even seem to manage at uni). I know I'm not the most wonderful/attractive/fun person in the world, but don't think I'm that horrible (on a daily basis)...so there is some hope, but only once I can solve this problem.

It's not a whinge, more a "what the fuck do I do?".

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well.......

    You could always try doing different things with you pub friends, maybe arrange a trip or a night out somewhere different where you would most certainly meet other people.

    Another thing you could do, (wait for it) but ever gone speed dating? That sounds like a good laugh and then you could just choose who you wanted to see again etc and probably also meet new girl friends there at the same time?

    Don't know if this helps at all!!??
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i know how you feel there. quick question are you wanting to meet new interesting people for friendship or relationship? If its for either have you thought about trying some of the singles sights, i've made a few friends that way (ok only meet a couple of them, rest talk to on msn, yahoo chat or email).
    I meet new people everyother sunday when i go to airsoft, as on average there are around 150-200 each match, afew of which i'm friends with now and meet up outside of shooting each other. not saying you should start going to airsoft (well you should its great) but maybe another sport or goto the gym.
    Other than that i'm not sure what you suggest, as i've never really been that good at going up to strangers and start talking, or at the whole meeting girls in pub/club thing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    killbill wrote:
    Well.......

    You could always try doing different things with you pub friends, maybe arrange a trip or a night out somewhere different where you would most certainly meet other people.

    Another thing you could do, (wait for it) but ever gone speed dating? That sounds like a good laugh and then you could just choose who you wanted to see again etc and probably also meet new girl friends there at the same time?

    Don't know if this helps at all!!??

    I think I'd fuck up something like speed dating, because I'd not be able to think of anything to say.

    Thanks for your reply, though, not bad ideas :)
    Youngbull wrote:
    i know how you feel there. quick question are you wanting to meet new interesting people for friendship or relationship? If its for either have you thought about trying some of the singles sights, i've made a few friends that way (ok only meet a couple of them, rest talk to on msn, yahoo chat or email).
    I meet new people everyother sunday when i go to airsoft, as on average there are around 150-200 each match, afew of which i'm friends with now and meet up outside of shooting each other. not saying you should start going to airsoft (well you should its great) but maybe another sport or goto the gym.
    Other than that i'm not sure what you suggest, as i've never really been that good at going up to strangers and start talking, or at the whole meeting girls in pub/club thing.

    Relationship, really. I'm quite pretty happy with my friends, although I suppose more never go amiss!
    I've not considered using a site for that purpose, but mainly because I think most would be quite a bit older than me.

    To be honest, I should really do some form of exercise rather than walking to the train station. Both my parents run, but I've always been too lazy, might look into that.
    I can't imagine meeting anyone at a gym, although that's something I should join from a fitness point of view, rather than owt else.

    Cheers!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bad seed wrote:
    I think I'd fuck up something like speed dating, because I'd not be able to think of anything to say.
    Thanks for your reply, though, not bad ideas :)

    Relationship, really. I'm quite pretty happy with my friends, although I suppose more never go amiss!
    I've not considered using a site for that purpose, but mainly because I think most would be quite a bit older than me.

    To be honest, I should really do some form of exercise rather than walking to the train station. Both my parents run, but I've always been too lazy, might look into that.
    I can't imagine meeting anyone at a gym, although that's something I should join from a fitness point of view, rather than owt else.

    Cheers!
    Yeah i think i'd got abit blank and not think of anything to say if i done speed dating. How old are you/ i'm seen people aged 17 and up on the singles sites. but i know what you mean about the gym, i've seen some attractive women in the gym but everyone seem so foucsed on their workout. plus its just the same as talking to them in pub/club really. just no beer.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bad seed wrote:
    How do all you other people manage? ... "what the fuck do I do?".

    Ok im only 17 and go to school which is quite a social place, but i go out every friday to clubs and bars and meet loads of new people there too. Just if you fancy the look of someone go and chat to them, whats the worst that could happen? eh
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    im pretty much always at work most of the time, or sat in durham waiting for work to start after ive had a few thingsto sort in town during the day, like banks etc

    or im sitting at home on the internet like right now, where nobody has been up on the boards or elsewhere, so ive sat increasing my random knowledge quota, im off to bed soon, so im now going when people are arriving, which sucks
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    whats the worst that could happen? eh

    get id'd by me ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    bad seed wrote:
    I'm quite pretty happy with my friends, although I suppose more never go amiss!

    That is so true. The more you widen your circle of friends and interests, the more potential you have to meet other people too.
    I've not considered using a site for that purpose, but mainly because I think most would be quite a bit older than me.

    I think you might be surprised.
    I can't imagine meeting anyone at a gym.

    If people only met in clubs and bars, I for one would still be single. People meet all over the place! At bus stops, at the supermarket over the frozen peas, at gyms..... You get my point?! (And often it happens when you least expect it.)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think it's about that old chestnut - networking. You're really going to meet new people, in the majority of cases, through people you already know. I guess this means you should socialise as much as possible and accept every invitation you get.

    When I moved to a new city it did take a long time to make friends with people, and they have all come through 3 sources - work colleagues, flatmates and people at sports clubs - and from those their friends/family etc.

    I'd be careful about starting any new sport/evening class/dance class with the express purpose of finding a new g/f there though - if you're not genuinely there for the activity on its own merit people are going to pick up on the dishonesty of that pretty quickly.

    Oh, and avoid the gym as a place for social interaction - there's a good reason why heaps of the ladies there have their iPods with them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    carrot12 wrote:
    I'd be careful about starting any new sport/evening class/dance class with the express purpose of finding a new g/f there though - if you're not genuinely there for the activity on its own merit people are going to pick up on the dishonesty of that pretty quickly.

    I think that's why, as I said, you often meet someone when you least expect to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Agreed. Or, indeed, want to? (worst luck)
    Miffy wrote:
    I think that's why, as I said, you often meet someone when you least expect to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well if they're too good to let go then it doesn't really matter if you didn't really want to meet anyone. I didn't want to meet anyone when I met Mr M but he was too good to pass up on.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I kind of meant it the other way around, but point taken! ;)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have the same problem.

    My friends are a select few and don't live right near me so I don't even go to the locl pub. On nights out we stick togther and clubs/bars are too noisy to talk to someone anyway. I have no contacts via my friends either, people they know are taken.

    I am unemployed at the mo and when I wa sat work I got burned trying with the work colleague so I aint doing that again.

    My hobbies are basically solidatry ones and while I could move out or summat, I don't wanna lose all th emoney I have, which isnt much.

    I am stuck to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,328 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Miffy wrote:
    That is so true. The more you widen your circle of friends and interests, the more potential you have to meet other people too.

    Now I think more about it, improving my social life is the more important agenda, because it's naff.


    I think you might be surprised.

    If people only met in clubs and bars, I for one would still be single. People meet all over the place! At bus stops, at the supermarket over the frozen peas, at gyms..... You get my point?! (And often it happens when you least expect it.)

    I can't really stand clubs anyway, so it's a good think they don't. The last bit is especially right...or has been so far :)
Sign In or Register to comment.