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Lost my baby
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Yesterday I Lost a baby,I was only 4 months gone but i was gettin really excited and its totally breaking me up now! I cant stop thinking about it! I know it wasnt a full grown baby but i saw it, It had eyes and legs and arms!
My boyfriend wont talk about it, He doesnt understand how i feel and what it was like I just dont know what to do!! I just want someone to talk to but i couldnt go to countsellers etc I feel like i need a hug that never stops x
I just wanna hide away and cry!!
My boyfriend wont talk about it, He doesnt understand how i feel and what it was like I just dont know what to do!! I just want someone to talk to but i couldnt go to countsellers etc I feel like i need a hug that never stops x
I just wanna hide away and cry!!
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I still think about what might have been - in fact baby would have been due in the next couple of weeks.
I don't know why you "couldnt go to countsellers" because you mean that you won't, not can't and that is a difference. You need to answer that one for yourself because quite honestly it's the best solution for you. You certainly won't get a hug which never ends, but learning not to hate yourself for what happened is just as good.
I am sure that you have already been told that there was nothing which you could have done and what you need to do is accept that and go from there. It's your starting point...
I lost my son when he was four and I thought it would never get better but it does because things have a way of balancing themselves out.
Hang in there its early days and if you need a chat just PM me.
Have you talked to your bf about how he feels? When it happened to us I pretended I was fine, and that it didn't matter too much, and it bloody did matter to me. It's important you don't dismiss people as "not understanding"- your bf can't understand, because he's a man, but that doesn't mean he doesn't hurt and it doesn't mean he can't help you.
Coping emotionally
After a miscarriage, you may go through the classic stages of bereavement: shock and emptiness, anger, sadness, depression and finally acceptance. Sadly, it can sometimes suit family or friends more if you pretend everything's ok, but that won't help you recover emotionally. What does help is for you to feel that your loss is acknowledged and to be able to talk about it for as long as it takes. But. recovery can be a slow process - you might feel that you're taking two steps forward and three steps back until you come to terms with your miscarriage
The only advise I can give (having not experienced what you're going through) is to listen to your emotions; if you "wanna scream" then scream the place down, I don't know if your folks knew you were pregnant, or even if you live at home (I think you're a bit younger than me if I remember correctly) but talking things through with your mum or a close friend will help. Or talk and voice your feelings on this, we're here to help and reading other people's experiences will help you get through this.
*hugs*
As for your bf, I can't speak for him, but when we miscarried it was after a happy accident, and a big part of me was relieved we wouldn't be having a baby. It still wasn't nice though.
was the baby planned between u 2??? (im thinking it wasnt bcos of the long distance). To me, your b.f sounds very insensitive, explain to him that you need his support. He may be just as upset as u, but hiding it!
First of all I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss. Miscarriage is a really hard thing to deal with - and it often hits a woman particularly hard as they have more of a chance to make a connection with the unborn baby. It does sound like you need more support from your boyfriend right now, but maybe he just doesn't know how to help and the distance is adding to the complications? See how things go when you see him in person and try to explain to him exactly how you feel then.
If you still feel like no one is understanding or supporting you, there are some organisations you could contact. Have a read of this article about miscarriage and look at the next steps box for more help.
Take care my dear
I know its a difficult time, but perhaps it time to give him the elbow?
Save your dignity+get shut of him!
Chin up x
really sorry to hear about your loss. I think maybe you should speak to your doctor.
Take care x