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Give and take?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I always do little things for my gf, out of the blue, buy her little presents, take her out for a meal etc. Some of it's nothing major, like when she had a load of those little candles but didn't have a holder to put them in so she couldn't burn them, after she told me I went out the next day and bought her one, plus a couple of nice candles.
I would say I do things like this on a regular basis, maybe once/twice a fortnight.
The thing is, she never does things like this for me. In fact, she even tells me that she nearly did, but then didn't. Like when I was talking about my clock batteries running out and I really should go and get some more. A few days later we were talking about it again and she said "oh yeah, I was at the sops the other day and was going to get you some, but I didn't" :yeees:
Last night she said she was going shopping today, I said that I needed some more tissues (I didn't ask her to get any, just mentioned it) and she said "oh well I would pick you some up, but I'm not going into boots or anything tomorrow" - seriously, how much effort would it be to go and get me some tissues. She's out shopping anyway and is going to be walking past the damn shop anyway! :mad:
I know it's only small things, but I feel maybe I shouldn't bother doing all these little things for her because she can't be bothered to do anything like that for me. I know if I did stop it wouldn't be long before I got the "why don't you do any nice thigns for me anymore?"
What would you do in this situation?
Am I just being silly?
I would say I do things like this on a regular basis, maybe once/twice a fortnight.
The thing is, she never does things like this for me. In fact, she even tells me that she nearly did, but then didn't. Like when I was talking about my clock batteries running out and I really should go and get some more. A few days later we were talking about it again and she said "oh yeah, I was at the sops the other day and was going to get you some, but I didn't" :yeees:
Last night she said she was going shopping today, I said that I needed some more tissues (I didn't ask her to get any, just mentioned it) and she said "oh well I would pick you some up, but I'm not going into boots or anything tomorrow" - seriously, how much effort would it be to go and get me some tissues. She's out shopping anyway and is going to be walking past the damn shop anyway! :mad:
I know it's only small things, but I feel maybe I shouldn't bother doing all these little things for her because she can't be bothered to do anything like that for me. I know if I did stop it wouldn't be long before I got the "why don't you do any nice thigns for me anymore?"
What would you do in this situation?
Am I just being silly?
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Comments
Agree about gifts not being the be all and end all of relationships! Totally! My ex bought me lots of stuff, which was really sweet but in the end i found it all a bit too materialistic!
maybe thats her version of doing the sweet things you do?
if not then, maybe have a word coz it sound slike she doesn;t appreciate you to much.
Sort of, not off her own back though. I tend to hear "I love you too" more than her just coming out with it, and I don't think i've ever been offered a massage unless I was offering her one and she said she'd give me one too.
Having said that, I do remember a few times we have gone out for dinner (under the idea we would split the bill) and at the end she has offered to pay the whole thing. So she does do nice things in other ways. What really got me was that she couldn't even be bothered to spend 2 minutes getting me something today. It was that which got me thinking about how she never really gets me anything like I do.
But it would not have been difficult for her to quickly pop into Boots if its on her way to pick up a box of tissues.
Read your first post Jelly, made me feel a bit guilty, as my boyfriend does lots of nice little things for me and I feel like I hardly ever do anything for him. Well not little romantic presents anyway, he keeps telling me to save my money as I'm a student, but the adds once you have qualified as I lawyer I'm going to be a kepted man.
But if I'm popping in to town and he needs something and I'm going near a shop which sells it then I will buy it for him. But he always repays me when I get back. I don't think I'm a bad person though as I give him massages and I cook dinner for him when I vist and I help with the dog duties when I'm at his.