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feeling lost
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi, it has been several years since my last relationship now and i'm in my last year at uni. i don't want to be with anyone i don't really care for, and the few people i have felt something for never worked out. i haven't slept with anyone in years and feel totally lost and alone. this feeling has been growing inside me for a long time and i worry whether it is part of my being to be alone.
i find trusting girls very hard after my only real relationship broke up with me walking in on her in bed with someone else. everytime i get close to someone something seems to go wrong. i feel so very sad inside and totally alone, like a broken half missing its whole. i thought this feeling would pass in time but it just grows stronger and i am starting to ask myself whether i should simply be with someone for the sake of being someone and sacrifice my fussiness over looking for the right girl.
as the feeling of loneliness grows inside me i find it harder to put in the same confidence into talking into girls and now find myself often not even bothering not able to see the point anymore. the most painful thing is that my friends say i could have whoever i liked and feel like i am being lied to by everyone because whilst they've one by one found their partners i am left totally alone and helpless.
kent
i find trusting girls very hard after my only real relationship broke up with me walking in on her in bed with someone else. everytime i get close to someone something seems to go wrong. i feel so very sad inside and totally alone, like a broken half missing its whole. i thought this feeling would pass in time but it just grows stronger and i am starting to ask myself whether i should simply be with someone for the sake of being someone and sacrifice my fussiness over looking for the right girl.
as the feeling of loneliness grows inside me i find it harder to put in the same confidence into talking into girls and now find myself often not even bothering not able to see the point anymore. the most painful thing is that my friends say i could have whoever i liked and feel like i am being lied to by everyone because whilst they've one by one found their partners i am left totally alone and helpless.
kent
0
Comments
I also think you need a new username.
Methinks personally, you should try and put girls on the backburner and concentrate on your finals, but you are probably feeling pretty desperately sad that you haven't got a partner. Maybe you're not over your original ex-girlfriend who has now become idolised in your mind? Finding her in bed with someone else is a cruel kick in the teeth and maybe you're not over the shock of such disloyalty even after this time. She didn't even care enough to hide it from you properly, did she? Not that this makes it right, but at least it would have demonstrated she was bothered!This should show you this girl was probably not worth your time, however much soulmatedness you shared.
I think your real problem is that you're miserable and not feeling very positive about the future. You sound miserable. So just focus on what things you could do to make yourself happy (not a woman). Is there no burning interest, group or debating society you could join, sports team, drinking club anything? maybe getting a part-time voluntary job. I taught french in schools when I was ayt uni and I really enjoyed that. Also I worked in a school where able-bodied and disabled children were taught together and I found it really rewarding knowing that the children were growing up more open-minded and honest for it. Maybe you could volunteer to help out with a cause you'r interested in, be it school mentor, swimming pool lifeguard - anything to get you mixing. Someone once told me if you focus too hard on a problem it intensifies your pain, so do things to get your mind off it.
Or ask your uni doctor to refer you to a counsellor, but they probably won't unless they think you're genuinely depressed. Normally there's an in-house uni-counselling service. maybe you should talk to a tutor in case all this is affecting your grades.
You are the key to solving your emptiness, not some fantasy girl that probably doesn't exist. I bet your friend in 'perfect relationships' don't also tell you there relationship problems/insecurities do they?
http://www.thesite.org.uk/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/treatments/counselling
http://www.thesite.org.uk/healthandwellbeing/mentalhealth/treatments/virtualcounselling