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oh no

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in Sex & Relationships
ok... so i went out down derby last night with my best mate who i have known for years. having a good nite, saw 3 lads that we know, my mate was snogging one of them as they have a past.

Anyway we are in a club and i see my ex's mates. i was with my ex for 2.5 yrs and we split up in august. My ex wasn't out.

So this one of his mates - Chris has just split up with his girlfriend of 3 yrs a couple of weeks ago and we were talking for like an hour til the club closed. My mate ended up going to a hotel with this guy, my ex's mate had no where to stay as he lost the rest of his mates so he came back to my house (i live with my mum and brother) and yeah everything was cool, we got in my bed and were chatting. so yeah we ended up sleeping together.

I've never had a one night stand before, i'd only slept with my ex who i am still friends with and see every so often. i've also had a 2 month relationship with someone - Lee, i didnt sleep with him in 2 months.

So yeah, not only have i had a one night stand, it was my ex's best mate and i duno, i cant believe how stupid i've been. Will my ex find out? if so i doubt he will ever speak to me again.

I feel so shit, i made the mistake of telling Lee and he now understandably hates my guts.

Is there anyway or advice that will make this situation any better?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    How long have you been without your ex of 2.5 years? Cos surely it shouldnt matter now since you've moved on to your next bloke!!

    His mate should have known better but if drink was involved suppose you both didnt do it to be spiteful. OR were you trying to do it for a reaction from your ex..?

    Are you still with Lee? If so hes obv gonna be a bit annoyed lol since not only will you not sleep with him, you slept with someone else! Kinda a kick in the bollox reallY, altho there must have been a reason for you not to sleep with him.

    Sounds kind of complicated and not sure itotally get it.
    People do things they regret, but you should try and look at it as not a bad thing. Maybe feelings will become more clear, and you obviously liked the one you slept with or you wouldnt have done it??

    Sorry i'm trying to help but get the feeling im actually not at all... sorry x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i split up with the guy of 2.5yrs (adam) in august.

    There was no intention to hurt anyone, its just one of those things that happened. i dont really like the guy and have no intention of doing it again with him. i didnt do it to get back at my ex or anything, he's like one of his best mates though.

    i split up with Lee just over a week ago. He hasnt spoke to me today, i really dont blame him because i know i have hurt him.

    i know the shit is gonna hit the fan with adam but its not happened yet. i dont know whether to tell him or not? do you think i should? i just dont wanna cause anymore damage than i already have done.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You've been an ex for years. You're allowed to have sex with who you want, when you want.

    If you'd split up before sleeping with someone else, than Lee can go to hell too.

    What I suspect is that you feel a bit guilty for having a ONS, and want to rationalise that guilt. Don't be guilty for having a bit of fun, and don't feel guilty for sleeping with a mate of an ex from three years ago.

    No, don't tell your ex, its none of his damn business.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thats the general info my mate gave me.

    i really regret it. i learnt my lesson though!

    i do feel guilty for hurting lee and if adam ever finds out too. not a lot a can do but try forget it happened!

    i did actually have a chuckle with my mate about it earlier.....i cant believe i did it to be honest
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Dinted wrote:
    i really regret it

    Why do you regret it?

    If you were split up with Lee, then you have no responsibility for him.

    You have no responsibility for an ex from three years ago.

    I find it bizarre that you regret it because of what an ex would think.

    Don't tell your exes, its none of their business, and I don't understand why you think it is.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i dunno, its not something i do.

    i just feel like it shouldnt of happened. i still care about my ex's feelings. knowing ive probably hurt them both is shit
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well if the sex was worth it then don't worry! as for lee, don't feel bad 'cause you didn't go out for long and aren't together anymore. try and forget about it and like you say maybe learn from it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If one of my ex's slept with one of my best friends then i'd be more annoyed at my friend than the girl. The way I see it is that as me and my ex have split up so she can do whatever she wants. But the friend should still have the sense of loyalty to you throughout. And that guy would've known it would upset your ex, but he still did it anyway.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lucifer devil wrote:
    well if the sex was worth it then don't worry! as for lee, don't feel bad 'cause you didn't go out for long and aren't together anymore. try and forget about it and like you say maybe learn from it.
    haha, the sex was shit. i ended up telling adam (the guy i was with for 2.5yrs) he wasnt impressed. he has a new girlfriend now, he text me saying that i was trying to make him jealous which isnt true.

    i think only time will sort this one out
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