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i know i know, i should let it go BUT...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
about a month ago i met up with a guy i know from uni after the summer. we hit it off well and started texting etc. arranged to go out - went out and had an amazing time. Now, i was enjoying it so much and please note i did not feel uncomfortable or regret it at the time, but i agreed to go back to his and yeah, we slept together. (kinda regret it now, but hey)
I was under the impression all was well etc, as felt pretty confident in what i was doing etc (sometimes get a bit nervous with guys and how i come across) and i kinda know that it was a bit unorthodox of sex on first date leading to more or whatever but the apparent lack of awkwardness and lovliness of guy in question seemed to cloud that factor.
However, since then got string of excuses of why not to meet back up. Gave up, ignored him at work a couple of weeks after. Texted him to meet up and try and set anything straight but although he initially agreed - got excuses again the morning we were supposed to meet. So texted him with a brief (and mebbe too nice!) reason of why wanted to meet then properly gave up after that deciding it wasnt worth it.
Since then i've seen him at work once a week - but he will not acknowledge me. I dont want a relationship now and i am not hung up on it, but my principles are saying that he could at least be civil and say "hi"?!! Its not like he hasnt seen me either but he is obviously ignoring coming anywhere near me - i.e. Wont even come and sit in a big group with mutual friends and will instead go and sit in corner with one or two others.
I know its been a while now and i should just carry on leaving him to his silly games. But a part of me just wants to say "oi...stop avoiding me!" i'm not going to pounce on him and i've not been inundating him with texts or stalker behaviour. Just would appreciate him to be civil and acknowledge that i actually exist - especially when we have mutual friends, see each other almost every week, get on pretty well (or at least i thought so!) and not to mention the fact we did the most intimate thing we could do together! However i dont want to be the one to come across as clingy, as i did say i wanted to see him again when we were textin a few days after the date (mistake?!). So i dont think i should make any more moves to reconcile.
Am i going about this the right way ? i seriously am not bothered about the lack of romantic interest from him but i would rather we would at least be able to be slightly friendly again and whatever the situation its not nice to know theres a reason that someones ignoring you. I dont know whether to talk to him like nothing happened or not talk to him until he actually makes proper conversation again. i kinda refuse to text him and sort anything out as i feel if i were to it should be done face to face, but its finding an appropriate time and whether it would be a mistake or not.
grr
I was under the impression all was well etc, as felt pretty confident in what i was doing etc (sometimes get a bit nervous with guys and how i come across) and i kinda know that it was a bit unorthodox of sex on first date leading to more or whatever but the apparent lack of awkwardness and lovliness of guy in question seemed to cloud that factor.
However, since then got string of excuses of why not to meet back up. Gave up, ignored him at work a couple of weeks after. Texted him to meet up and try and set anything straight but although he initially agreed - got excuses again the morning we were supposed to meet. So texted him with a brief (and mebbe too nice!) reason of why wanted to meet then properly gave up after that deciding it wasnt worth it.
Since then i've seen him at work once a week - but he will not acknowledge me. I dont want a relationship now and i am not hung up on it, but my principles are saying that he could at least be civil and say "hi"?!! Its not like he hasnt seen me either but he is obviously ignoring coming anywhere near me - i.e. Wont even come and sit in a big group with mutual friends and will instead go and sit in corner with one or two others.
I know its been a while now and i should just carry on leaving him to his silly games. But a part of me just wants to say "oi...stop avoiding me!" i'm not going to pounce on him and i've not been inundating him with texts or stalker behaviour. Just would appreciate him to be civil and acknowledge that i actually exist - especially when we have mutual friends, see each other almost every week, get on pretty well (or at least i thought so!) and not to mention the fact we did the most intimate thing we could do together! However i dont want to be the one to come across as clingy, as i did say i wanted to see him again when we were textin a few days after the date (mistake?!). So i dont think i should make any more moves to reconcile.
Am i going about this the right way ? i seriously am not bothered about the lack of romantic interest from him but i would rather we would at least be able to be slightly friendly again and whatever the situation its not nice to know theres a reason that someones ignoring you. I dont know whether to talk to him like nothing happened or not talk to him until he actually makes proper conversation again. i kinda refuse to text him and sort anything out as i feel if i were to it should be done face to face, but its finding an appropriate time and whether it would be a mistake or not.
grr
0
Comments
Thats the thing...i questioned it very little about whether things would be ok after or not. Prob naive of me i know now but then it didnt seem to matter. i'm a bit rash thinking sometimes.
but, i've been in more awkward situations with guys when less has happened between us! thats why i would be ok to forget anything happened (within reason) and just be able to talk 'normally' even within a group of us. But his behaviour prevents that so i am less inclined to actually make an effort to go and talk to him now
i try to be 'myself' but i dont think thats a good thing, so i try to go about things how i think i 'should' and then i just dont feel quite right. I just dont know what 'myself' is!
however i felt very relaxed and comfortable actually by being me with this guy and then promptly messed up. so i really dont know what i am! :banghead:
its cool though. i have deleted his no. and msgs from my phone and thats the end of him my friends! although if he ever does say anything (which i doubt) he's gonna get an earful fom me! he he
I did the same as you by deleting his number and texts etc. I kept him on my msn though just incase he decided to talk to me. He didn't talk to me for over a month, with no explanation or anything grrrrr! Anyway, he decided to talk to me one day (I think cos he found out we were both going to be in the same room the next weekend) and he was being all chatty and stuff, I told him that I thought he hated me and he acted all suprised! Flippin cheek.
Anyway, it's all over now, we don't really speak to eachother. It just takes time. It's the not knowing what on earth is going on that it the hardest!
totally. i cannot help wondering (just because i'm in that "ho hum...its winter and cold and i would like a special someone to snuggle up to" kinda mood) that it might have been different if i had not gone back to his. BUT i know now that when the next guy comes along i am going to be very careful not to rush into things again. (see, i'm being optimistic!)
He is just wierd i have decided and its a shame he doesnt feel he can talk to me. Obviously knows he shudnt have been so nice and got my hopes up the morning after!
hope things are looking good for u buttercup.
Move on.
For that reason he is a cunt.
he he.
sure he's not the first person who just fancied a shag....however since when has politeness done anyone any harm?!
ta guys - was good to see some replies, was feelin a bit down today due to shitty coursework and then got myself to thinking about 'life, the universe and everything' (which is never a good idea for me!) but i'm happier now